Three Trillion Layers Deep (An Essay)

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if someone has travelled three layers deep

and you have travelled three trillion on route to a bazillion

you’re swimming in a vastness they’ve yet to taste

but can sense

in you

and in themselves

this will terrify and / or intrigue them

or feel so far from where they are that they insist it doesn’t exist

(because they don’t yet have the eyes to see what’s invisible to the eye)

they’d rather stick to what is seen and known

(like most do)

and so…

at three layers deep

with three trillion more layers beneath

and a bazillion more layers to go

they’re content with those three layers

believing that what they see is all there is

so for them, nothing feels like it’s missing

even though much has yet to be explored

they simply aren’t yet pulled to touch

the underworld of themselves

and who can blame them, really?

those depths aren’t for the masses

they’re for those

who can’t survive

let alone thrive

unless / until they freefall

into the darkness

into the abyss

into the stillness

where nothing exists

and when one comes across another

three trillion layers deep

there’s a mutual

and oh so beautiful

recognition of what it took

to arrive at those depths

where most won’t dare to swim

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Why You Can't Have What You Want (An Essay)

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“I can’t have the things I want.”

On what planet?

You’re the only one saying no to them every time you say YES to a NO.

Every time you say no to what would make your toes curl,

your heart race,

your edges burn

with the fire of you.

Every time you do something,

anything,

for any reason

other than it being the absolute truth,

you deny yourself,

you deny god itself (same thing),

and then wonder why your life isn’t dripping with YUM.

Everything you want is already at your feet.

If it can’t pass through,

that’s on you.

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The Truth About Money (An Essay)

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money

when experienced from a pure channel

has no meaning

no value

no substance

no weight

you don’t ‘earn it’ (and you do)

you don’t work for it (and you do)

it’s not an A = B equation

“If I do this, I’ll get that” (nope)

you don’t ‘deserve’ it

you’re not ‘worthy’ of it

and if you try to make it, you can’t

but most don’t play through a pure channel

they over-work in a heavily distorted one

where money really matters

it really means something

about them

about their work

about their / its supposed value or worth

so they’ll do whatever they can to make it

and for many, of course it works

because you can make all sorts of money

in all sorts of ways

from a distorted, matter-filled channel

but from a pure one

the rarest one

your options are reduced to one

there’s only one way to ‘make’ it

you can’t affirm your way there

or externally work your way there

or visualize or pray or trade your way there

you can only be here

at the zero point

where all that remains

is truth

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Your Only Viable Option (An Essay)

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Energetically speaking, there’s no difference between having money and not having money.

Having the relationship and not having the relationship.

Being in lockdown or hitting all your favourite spots.

You’re here to make art out of every piece.

Only you think and believe that one is better than the other but YOU know that all things are made equal.

In that ALL moments,

regardless of what they do or don’t contain,

are already perfect and yours to play with as you wish.

And each one comes with a delicious edge that you can ride if you like,

or not.

And if you choose not to ride your edge because you’re ‘waiting’ for the money,

the relationship,

the external permission slip to show up before YOU do,

you’re gonna have a rough, repetitive and helluva boring time.

You think you want the (fill in the blank) but YOU are here to dissolve everything in the way of it, including your desire for it.

And riding the edge of this moment is your only viable option for that to happen.

You can’t skip your moments and the work to get to the ‘good’ parts (truth) you haven’t earned by fucking with the shit parts (illusion).

There’s just no way around it or YOU.

You either make it your full-time and life-time job to fuck up everything in the way of you and YOU…

or you coast and dream,

like the others do.

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You See Right Through It (An Essay)

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if you look at yourself

your life

others

and the world

through the lens of the energetics

you see what’s really going on

how accurate it is

and how inevitable things are

based on the energy at play

which is why you’re unaffected by what you observe

and why you’re not distracted by the noise and how things seem

and why you’re not surprised by the delusions people maintain

because you know it can’t be another way

and everything that IS

is perfect

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You Don't Have Issues (An Essay)

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You don’t have a money issue.

A health issue.

A relationship issue.

Any issue at all.

You have whatever is brought to the surface through whatever meaning you’ve projected onto whatever is happening or not happening with your account, your health, your relationships, your whatever the fuck.

Not an issue.

An invitation.

It’s not about having or not having a certain amount of money.

It’s not about having or not having a certain measure of health.

It’s not about having or not having the relationship(s) of your supposed dreams.

It’s about facing and transmuting every bit of constriction / density / matter / illusion that shows up as you navigate every single facet of life - including your finances, your health, your relationships and all the rest.

It’s not about the category.

It’s about the congestion.

And the area in which you feel the most congested / restricted / powerless, is where you think there’s an issue (naturally), but ultimately it’s just the spot that’s the ripest to fuck with (look at, challenge, and ultimately see through).

It’s your own self-generated playground to unclog, free up, and own your damn power already.

So let go of the concept of there being an issue.

There’s no such thing.

There’s just energy moving freely or temporarily getting jammed up.

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The Other Is Not My Business (An Essay)

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There was a period of time when I found it invigorating, even fascinating, to read the ideas, and witness the evolutions, of others on social media.

Eventually, that ceased to be the case.

Not because the others had changed.

But I had.

I fell even deeper into myself and the rest just felt like noise.

So I stopped observing said noise and got quieter within.

More still, more sure, more pure, more me.

The other is not my business.

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The Residue of Denied Truth (An Essay)

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When you ignore your NO far beyond that original moment of knowing,

you create residue in your system,

an accumulation of denied truth,

which will find its way through the density you’ve amassed, regardless.

If you neglect your NO, it will seemingly be forced upon you by less favourable circumstances (getting really sick and needing to take leave from a job you hate but refuse to quit, for example) because only at that point can you justify doing the thing you wanted to do long ago.

You created an external ‘permission slip’ as it were, to give yourself the internal permission to do the thing you weren’t willing to do until it got so bad you had no choice but to do it.

But only AFTER your system collapsed from the choice to repeatedly ignore yourself.

Which ultimately isn’t a problem.

You got what you originally wanted at least,

albeit in a messier and drawn-out way.

But you can save yourself the self-imposed and unnecessary drama, pain and chaos in the future if you like, when you learn to respect and obey the NO.

Because when you’re able to do that, you won’t find yourself in a situational NO for days, weeks, months or years.

You’ll be keeping your system clear on the daily, instead of clogging it with all those perfectly beautiful, yet often ignored, NOs.

The ones that when listened and adhered to, have the power to shape the most exquisite experiences of your life.

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When Bullshit is Afoot (An Essay)

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It’s not like I go around disrupting everyone and everything around me just because there’s bullshit afoot.

I don’t move until I’m moved.

When it would be untrue not to do whatever I’m called to do.

I never plan to fuck shit up.

I never try to fuck shit up.

I just ‘apply pressure’ when it’s required because my being just told me so.

And ‘applying pressure’ can look like anything.

It can look like speaking the truth.

It can look like walking away.

It can look like digging in.

It can look like not intervening.

The moment and the energy and the inner directive determines the move.

Not the person or the thing specifically.

Even when people in my life are going through the shit, I don’t pull a ‘Mandy’ on them just because I can.

Because unless it’s ripe and it’s true,

it does nothing for either of us.

The ‘Mandy’ move only works when the energy is activated; the the tell-tale sign that both of us are ready to play together and fuck shit up — without knowing what’s about to go down.

And until I feel that pull,

I don’t make a move.

And when I do,

KA-BOOM.

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Victim + Saviour Bullshit (An Essay)

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The impulse to ‘save’ someone from their own suffering by ‘helping’, ‘fixing’, ‘holding space’, or ‘filling in the gap’,

actually affirms and prolongs it.

When you see yourself and others as you and they truly are — innately sovereign, self-governing and free — you wouldn’t dream of interrupting and slowing down the necessary burning that’s unfolding as a result of what they (as innately sovereign, self-governing, free beings) have created for themselves.

But that is precisely what you do when you say or do something from the stance of ‘poor them’, and buy into the delusion that you have what they need or possess something they don’t.

This is also why you, at your very core, don’t want to be saved (impossible anyways) when you’re in the shit.

What you actually want is to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

And so do they, despite appearances.

And you can’t experience that, or activate that in another, if you still believe in victims and saviours.

There are none.

There is just you and what you choose to do or not do in this and every moment with each and every person as the innately sovereign, self-governing and free being that you are.

And…

Dropping saviour-mode is not about being a heartless jerk as you watch another suffer.

It’s about seeing them clearly (powerful as fuck) and seeing what’s happening clearly (illusion running the show) and only doing what you genuinely feel pulled to do from that clean / clear spot of knowing; not from an illusory victim / saviour stance.

Because the only reason you’d ever jump into saviour-mode in the first place is because you actually believe in victims and you’re arrogant and silly enough to believe that you can actually save them.

#isaidwhatisaid

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The Energetic Flatline (An Essay)

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The end point of any experience occurs when it feels flat / dead / empty / void of any charge.

Which has nothing to do with the person or the situation itself.

It’s just the energetic cue that it’s time to play elsewhere (not necessarily physically) because a new scene is about to take place.

Yet most stay where it’s energetically dead with the hopes of bringing an expired experience back to life.

Imagining that something or someone matters more than honouring the current truth.

Hence, the flatline.

Because the end / the command / the brilliant move was missed.

And…

To ignore the cue of right now,

for any reason,

for anyone,

is to immediately diminish the quality of your experience.

Which is why it’s better to seamlessly move from one activated moment to the next by not hopping off the ride, than to try to bring something dead back to life.

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Contending With Your Instability (An Essay)

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Whatever is brought to the surface when another is unresponsive or responds in a way you don’t like,

was already inside of you.

And…

It’s up to you to face and dissolve (see through) what arose from the space that’s been created just for you and this.

And…

You may think you need someone or something to relieve your discomfort,

to bridge the gap that exists solely because you’ve yet to collapse what’s between you and well…YOU,

but what you truly want is to be so energetically sound that nothing can move or distract you from YOU.

Or at the very least, to be moved less and less as you learn how to live from that still point inside yourself.

Because guess what?

It’s no one’s job to keep you stable.

It’s your job to contend with your own instability.

If something as small as another’s words or non-engagement is enough to disrupt you,

to create a ripple or a wave in your system,

to redirect your focus and your energy,

then you’ve got more work to do.

The most important work there is.

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The Anomaly (An Essay)

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In complete stillness, what surrounds you is a vortex that spits out almost everything and everyone.

Matter is destroyed on contact.

Making it nearly impossible for anyone to make it through the tunnel unscathed, if at all.

The level of purity (lack of density) required for another to reach that still point of you, is immense.

And incredibly rare.

Making it that much more potent and extraordinary when an anomaly enters the scene.

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Bringing A Piece To Life (An Essay)

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If it was alive in its creation,

that energy carries through the perception of time.

There is no expiration date on a work of art that pulses with the essence of its creator in their most raw and potent state.

Juxtapose this to a piece that’s created for anything other than the impulse and necessity of being true.

The piece falls flat.

It’s energetically dead.

And no amount of ‘time’ will bring that piece to life.

Because the energy it’s created with is the energy that remains with it (until it’s infused with something new, something true).

Which is why a piece from long ago can touch each new generation with the same intensity as the one before.

It isn’t just the sounds.

The visuals.

The words.

The hype.

It’s the energy it was sourced from, that carries it along, as if no time had passed at all.

When something is alive, you feel it.

And when it’s not, you don’t.

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The Is Why You're Bored (An Essay)

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If the experience or person doesn’t arouse / activate something in you (even if it / they did a moment before), you really have no business fucking with it or them while that remains the case.

That flat / dead / boring / can’t-wait-til-it’s-over vibe is your cue that:

a) it’s / they’re not for you in this moment and vice versa (so you’re off the hook)

b) you said YES to a NO or you wouldn’t have even gotten to the point of waiting for it to be over, which by the way, does absolutely nothing for you or the other, no matter what excuse you’re using to justify staying where you don’t belong (in an energetically limp experience)

When the energy shifts, it’s not a problem.

It’s just information.

And…

It’s also entirely possible that when you honour that (and every other) very obvious NO (towards the energy; not the person), an energetic shift will occur in the other and they’ll be ready to play a delicious new game that simply can’t be played when you go even 1° beyond your brilliant and powerful NO.

So until you take care of your side of the court, you’ll never know what’s actually possible (with every person and experience in your life) on the other side of every NO you keep choosing to ignore.

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