Convos

About That Coldplay Moment (An Essay)

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Posted by a friend on Facebook:

“You have to wonder why the demise of two families at a Coldplay concert is shared more than the tragedies going on around the world. Such a sad state of the world.”

Her friend chimes in:

“I agree 100%. I also don't find anything funny about it. People's lives have been destroyed by this, and its being treated like a joke?”

My take:

Exposing truth doesn’t destroy families.

It liberates everyone involved.

It was the hiding that was destructive.

Now each person is free to choose.

Also,

everyone laughed because it was comedy gold.

Duh.

It was a moment in time that brought everyone together.

So rare.

Whereas “tragedies going on around the world” are happening 24/7/365.

The comparison is silly.

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The Instant Shift (An Essay)

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Yes, it’s true that it does all shift in an instant.

Energetically.

And yes, sometimes it can shift physically —

in an instant.

But for many things, there is a ‘gap’.

A lag-time between the energetic shift and the physical reflection of it.

Not because something is wrong or not working.

But because shit is still moving.

Rearranging.

Lining up.

And that liminal space and appearance of nothing happening ‘out there’,

which doesn’t account for the very necessary yet unseen motion going on in the ethers,

is what creates a ton of movement and noise ‘in here’.

And this is what needs to be faced and seen through and silenced as the external comes into form.

Nothing is ‘wrong’ just because something hasn’t happened — yet.

Or in the way you think it should and on the timeline that you have decided.

Your work is to keep doing your work.

Period.

To make the inner more important than the outer, but of course, still tend to the outer.

To care about becoming and remaining stable internally, instead of defaulting to being moved and disheartened by externals.

Because…

When you see things and yourself as they / you are,

you can ‘handle’ what is or isn’t happening ‘out there’.

But when you can’t see things or yourself with clarity,

you really can’t ‘handle’ a thing.

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Laura: “Man, I always fall into the trap of 'why is nothing changing when I've been paying all this attention to myself internally' and then I realize, that's the trap. Cause I'm still focused out but pretending to be in.”

Me: “What you wrote also implies that you’re focused on the internal to change the external and that’s also not actually IT. Even though on one level, of course. But it’s still connecting A to B instead of just doing A for the sake of being a fucking badass at A and letting B be whatever the fuck it’s gonna be because you’re SO GOOD with that A.”

Laura: “Bingo.”

Two For One (An Essay)

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I had a call with a hottie who I soon realized was nowhere close to being ready for a call with me.

She was committed to her stories.

She didn’t actually want to be free.

So I interrupted her mental masturbation by letting her know this isn’t the work I do, and I ended the Zoom call.

She called me on Messenger a moment later.

And I had no problem picking up because ‘new moment, new everything’ in Mandyland.

I was happy to start again.

But she was still there; not here.

So I ended that call, too.

*sends a cheeky new invoice*

Because that is the work I do.

(Read Part 2)

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Touché, Bitch (An Essay)

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Talking with a friend in a relationship that’s been the biggest NO forfuckingever…

Her: “But I love his family.”

Me: “More than you love yourself?”

Her: “Touché, bitch.”

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P.S. If you’ve never referred to me as ‘bitch’ (not ‘a bitch’ — although that would still be a compliment), do you even love me?

And if I haven’t called you ‘bitch’ while hyped up in a private convo / message / work call, either celebrating you or calling you out, do I even love you?

Of course.

But it’s still fun to ponder.

The Passive Goodbye (An Essay)

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“I wish things could be different.”

Translation: “I wish I could stay the same and also have you put up with all that entails, but since you’re holding me accountable and I’d need to do the actual work required of me for us to continue, I guess this is the end. But if you change your mind and want to settle for even less in the future, you can always count on me.”

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Your Verbal Line In The Sand (An Essay)

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Me: “You verbally express it because you can’t energetically hold it.”

Her: “Is this always the case?”

No.

If they’re energetically backed, you can feel the power through the words.

But it’s not the words themselves doing the speaking.

It’s the energy.

The words are chosen but are not necessary to deliver the message which is already felt and known with or without the words.

What I’m pointing to is the use of words (like setting boundaries) with no energetic backing — the reason you’re relying on words to deliver the message in the first place; a message that won’t come through because the words are a compensation.

You wouldn’t need to draw a line in the sand with words if the line was energetically there to begin with.

And since words can’t override the truth of where you are (or aren’t) and make what’s not true, true…

using words in an attempt to achieve what you’ve yet to earn (and wouldn't need to name had you earned and achieved it already), demonstrates that split.

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Be More Like Hanna (An Essay)

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Yesterday a guy asked me what I do for a living.

Because that’s what typical, boring, conditioned humans ask other typical, boring, conditioned humans.

#cosmicredflag

So I offered my typical response:

“I float through space.”

Because who fucking cares.

Because let’s play elsewhere.

We just met and I’m already bored.

And it made me think of my friend, Hanna.

(A dreamy guest of mine on Mandyland Radio)

Whenever we have a call or check in through message, she asks, “What’s alive in your world?”

And my being just swoons.

Because THAT’s the vibe.

#letsbemorelikehanna

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The Daddy Thingy Of Addiction (An Essay)

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From a recent text chat with my cyber bestie…

Her: “People believe they are the thingy.”

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “Which is the problem with identifying as an addict because it says I am my thingy.”

Me: “Yep.”

Her: “And people with the biggest thingys are often the ones who are most potent.”

Me: “Exactly. They wouldn’t need a thingy so big if they weren’t so powerful.”

Her: “But shame is a whole thing, too. Shame is the core thing. It’s the Daddy Thingy.”

Me: “Yep. And the being doesn’t carry shame at all. It’s just another thingy to fuel all the other thingies.”

Her: “And things need space held for them.”

Me: “Yep.”

Her: “Which eats up space / power.”

Me: “Yep.”

Her: “Hungry thingys.”

Me: “Yep lol”

Her: “Insatiable thingys.”

Me: “Feed all the thingies!”

Her: “lol”

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Escaping Through Addiction (An Essay)

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Her: “I think of my addiction as escapism and I’m curious about your thoughts on that.”

Being energetically intact (operating from our innate power) is our natural state.

And it’s glorious.

So what’s to escape from? 

We only feel the need to ‘escape’ when we’re existing unnaturally. 

And addiction is the perfect way to ineffectively ‘manage’ the discomfort of that inner deviation.

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