How To Know You've Made It (An Essay)

peace is the indicator

clarity is the indicator

laughter is the indicator

joy is the indicator

freedom is the indicator

thrill is the indicator

ease is the indicator

simplicity is the indicator

knowing is the indicator

certainty is the indicator

deepening is the indicator

stillness is the indicator

satisfaction is the indicator

potency is the indicator

purity is the indicator

union is the indicator

more is the indicator

less is the indicator

everything is the indicator

nothing is the indicator

and anything in (and on) the way of (and to) this

is your moment-to-moment assignment

until everything is clear

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Book a private call to clear it all.

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How To Make More Money (An Essay)

I knew that’s what you wanted.

More money,

more freedom,

more experiences,

more things.

But there’s just one thing in the way.

Yes, just one.

If money’s not moving the way you want it to,

the required shift is fully,

and solely,

in your hands.

No one can do this for you.

No one is coming to save you.

And winning the lottery can’t ‘fix’ this glitch.

And…

this group conversation can’t override what you’re not willing to do ‘for’ your money.

But if you’re fucking ready to flip the switch,

because you’ve had enough of ‘not nearly enough’…

and/or you’re simply ready for the MORE you’ve always known you’re here for…

THEN. LET’S. FUCKING. GO.

Join me Sunday, June 15th from 11am-1pm EST on Zoom to get to the guts of your current (and/or ongoing) situation.

We will bridge the seeming divide between you and your money.

The ‘solution’ is simple,

and profound.

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Sign up for the group money talk this Sunday, or book a private call to clear it all.

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How To Get It All (An Essay)

It is your own (perceived) inner division that seemingly separates you from what you want and already are.

There is nothing but consciousness.

So the degree to which you are split within, is the degree to which you perceive lack without.

If you knew and experienced yourself to be God (which you are while in human form), there would be no inner division.

You’d be operating from truth.

From ultimate knowing.

And reaping the gold that comes from that state.

You wouldn’t be waiting, hoping, wishing, praying.

You wouldn’t try.

You wouldn’t be on a path of healing and becoming.

You’d just be BEING what you already are and have always been.

No split.

So…

the work as a human is to bridge that divide.

To get on board with the God that you are.

And you do this by facing and seeing through every single lie that tells you you’re less than everything -

and convinces you that you’re more than nothing.

Because it’s both.

And it’s neither.

It’s just an empty moment that houses all of eternity.

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Play with me in the ethers.

One call to bridge the illusory divide

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Bothered By Billionaires? (An Essay)

If you feel some type of way about other people making a lot of money,

or spend any amount of time and energy judging others for how they make or spend it (yes, even those billionaires you love to hate and love to blame for all that’s wrong in our ‘capitalist’ world),

you’re only outing yourself by projecting the lack of freedom and power YOU feel to generate the kind of life and money YOU truly desire to move through this world in a way that feels incredible to YOU.

Because if you were already doing that, you wouldn’t waste your time and energy focusing on what other equally free and sovereign beings are choosing to do with what they’ve created.

It’s insane that you are more bothered by what other people are doing than by the fact that you’re not doing what you know you’re here to do at the level you know you’re capable of.

LIKE WAKE UP.

Your choice to live small, and I’m not talking financially but that as well if it applies, is why you get so pissed at ‘the rich’ while simultaneously complaining about being / feeling ‘poor’, when what you ultimately want is financial freedom / to feel internally rich, but how can that be available to you when you judge the exact thing you desire?

How about instead of pointing at them, you sort out that internal conflict and start cleaning up your shit.

And maybe that includes a call with me.

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Don't Delete That Post (An Essay)

I had a call with a hottie who made an offer online…

a TRUE offer

not an offer to ‘get’

just truth being expressed in a moment

which was an absolute edge for her

because she had ‘exposed’ herself by doing so

and when ‘nothing happened’ (impossible)

when her so-called ‘bold’ offer (bold only to her because of said edge in that moment) wasn’t responded to right away by her audience (silly human thinking it knows the when or the how and thinking something is ‘wrong’ if things don’t ‘happen’ in a specific way on some arbitrary timeline decided by the very small human mind)…

she felt so insecure and anxious about her offer (made in a moment of truth - making it the ultimate success regardless of next),

that she wanted to delete her post.

But if she was on a call with me of all people, what she actually wanted was to ride her edge even further.

I told her the only thing she needs to do is be with her (temporary) internal chaos and do what needs to be done until it’s still inside.

Because the issue isn’t the offer or the ‘lack’ of response from her audience.

The opportunity is to be bigger than the internal noise and external appearances.

To not move while the mind moves and while nothing seems to be moving ‘out there’.

To not act in response to the chatter of an unharnessed mind that has no idea what the fuck is actually going on.

#thehumanmindcanbesodumb

To be in charge of what’s happening ‘in here’, regardless of externals (and the mind is an external).

She was ready.

She stayed still.

She didn’t delete her offer.

And she made her biggest sale in business so far.

(100K)

P.S. If she, once still inside, STILL chose to delete her post, that would have been perfect and TRUE; not reactionary and compensatory. And, if she deleted it at the start because of her anxiety, it’s not like she would have ‘lost’ a thing. Everything is used and makes us more. She could have posted it again the next day (or even an hour later) or right after our call from a more solid place. Get it? It’s never about the thing itself. It’s about what you’re doing inside yourself with whatever is happening and not happening.

P.P.S. If you’re ready to go beyond your human bullshit so you can taste and touch what you know you’re actually here for, book a call with me here and we can chat til there’s nothing left.

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Dollars Can't Measure Rich Or Poor (An Essay)

Being in poverty isn’t about not having money.

Although that can be a natural expression and extension of it.

Just like being truly rich isn’t about having a certain amount of money, although of course it can include a fuckton of it.

Poverty is just a deviation from what’s natural.

From who you really are.

You can be impoverished in any area.

In many areas beyond just fininacial.

You can have all the money you need and desire, and still be poor where it counts.

You can move through this world without a dollar to your name, and still be rich as fuck.

Dollars aren’t the indicator of rich or poor.

Except, of course, when they are.

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Normal Isn't Natural (An Essay)

It’s not natural to be overweight.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to live in poverty.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be in perpetual pain.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be mentally ill.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be sedentary / immobile.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be addicted.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

Just because it’s normal and normalized…

Just because we can (and do) adapt to every dysfunction…

Living in a state of perpetual compensation is not a natural way to be.

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Eat The Poison If You Want To (An Essay)

You can eat whatever you want without ‘negative’ consequences when you exist in truth.

But most people don’t.

Much, if not all, of their life is a compensation.

Therefore, so is their eating.

Eating to soothe.

To control.

To get.

To lose.

To fill what’s empty.

When it’s not even their tummy.

That’s not living in truth.

That’s not being in charge of you or your food.

It’s the food leading you.

Oh, boy.

Or rather, your need to compensate makes you a slave to the external - in this case, food.

So yes, theoretically you can eat whatever you want when you live in truth, without any adverse consequences.

Just like that guru I heard about decades ago who took a hit of acid and was unaffected by it because he was energetically above the chemicals.

He didn’t go on a trip.

But experientially, almost no one exists at such a level where they could consume acid or whatever the fuck any have their system be completely unaffected.

Truth overrides all things, yes.

But again, most people don’t choose and live from truth.

They choose from compensation.

And people who choose to live from truth don’t need or desire to consume a specific thing just to prove they can.

“Lemme drink some of this bleach to show you how unaffected I am.”

No.

Truth-living isn’t about self-poisoning.

But if ‘poison’ was consumed,

they wouldn’t notice.

It would neutralize.

Their system would self-correct.

Naturally.

Or at the very least,

they’d take the steps to clean it out.

And return to purity once again.

Or they’d croak.

Who knows.

Circle of life and all that.

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Going Too Far Is Still Not Far Enough

I love going ‘too far’.

I love when others react to that.

I love when me just being me activates and overwhelms someone.

Because I know what’s going on.

And yes, that turns me on.

While many avoid that tension, that edge, that illusory risk of offending or ‘losing’ someone by saying or doing the true thing regardless of any and every thing else,

I’m over here like BRING. IT. THE. FUCK. ON.

I go right into it.

And yes, most people collapse (well, their false self does, as it should and must).

And yes, I love that, too.

Their illusory walls can’t withstand the truth so of course they crumble until they don’t.

And the ones who actually want to be free of themselves,

who genuinely crave that level of liberation,

who are willing to see behind the veil of illusion they were holding so tightly to,

(even and especially by painting me in a tainted light to justify their own frustration at not yet fully owing themselves)

end up loving me for precisely what they previously judged me for…

Being exactly as I am.

Which ‘forced’ them to do the same.

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No Offence But You're Insane

If you’re human, you’re mentally ill.

You don’t need a diagnosis to prove that.

Just look what goes on inside your mind.

If every bit of it was projected onto a screen for you and others to read 24/7,

you’d see that you’re insane.

Not truly.

But mentally.

Disordered.

Not coherent.

And…

coherence is still the baseline.

It’s the undercurrent of all things.

And the noise of the mind is just that.

Noise.

And…

the noise is not who you are.

It’s just what’s going on above the stillness.

And…

the noise itself is not a problem.

Identifying with the noise IS.

Believing the noise is who you are IS.

Being taken on that insane ride to crazytown whenever the noise takes over IS.

And of course, none of it is really a problem at all.

It’s just what IS.

For now.

And…

sanity IS an option.

By seeing that the noise is only noise.

Regardless of what it contains.

And that you are the one who listens.

The peace beneath the noise.

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I Dreamed I Was A Daughter Of The Moon

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I asked him, "What am I?"

He said I was a moth.

I asked him why I couldn't be a butterfly (I had always been a butterfly), but he said he didn't know.

I desperately wanted to make love to him, and I wanted to be made love to.

But he was a human and I was a moth.

A strange and frustrating thing.

So I hovered and fluttered around his neck as he led me up the stairs, and when he felt my winged kisses, he, too, was aroused.

He knew I was trespassing.

I knew he was forbidden.

I wasn't allowed to join him here, and not in this way, to be sure.

But these were not our rules.

They were not of our making.

Least of all, sane.

These rules belonged to the others.

The dim and unaware.

They did not apply to those whose sights transcended their limits.

They did not apply to creatures like he and I.

Our connection was strong.

Tenderly overwhelming.

We were destined to merge.

Our goal: become one.

And being that he was already a part of that world, while secretly being a part of mine, he cared enough to take me where I didn't belong.

He was privy to the path.

They'd never suspect a thing.

They'd only suspect me - the moth - a tender loving thing.

He looked like the others but to them, I was strange.

For being what I was.

For wanting what I want.

For going where they would not dare.

But he understood.

I only wanted to go higher.

I wanted to know more.

And I wanted him in his entirety.

He did not question my intentions.

He knew they were pure.

He did not question our differences because he knew we were the same.

He knew what I was, and what I was, was his.

He knew better than to hinder what he, too, desired for himself.

He conspired to make it happen.

And what mattered most is that he let me love him.

Let me touch him.

Let me follow this wild dream.

And I could not have been more grateful.

After holding back for what felt like an eternity,

with the whole universe pulsating within me,

I had nowhere to go but beyond all I'd ever known.

I desired him with a vengeance.

To devour every bit that I could.

I hungered for our union before reality woke us up.

Small as I was, my presence was known and felt.

My being was needed and craved.

And my touch turned him into mine as I sought to taste the places where he'd feel me the most deeply.

He, the human.

Me, the moth.

We, the illuminated.

△

Originally written and publicly shared in 2016.

And yes, this was an actual dream I had about a fellow at the time.

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The Noise Within The One (An Essay)

There is the ‘me’ (and ‘you’) that dips into illusion / delusion / perceived separation / a temporary state of fear and insanity (looking at life / self / others through the limited / distorted human lens).

And the ME (and YOU) that exists in actual reality.

In sanity / union / peace / clarity / purity / potent power.

In REAL love (not the human kind) -

with nothing in the way.

It’s not one or the other though.

The other is part of THE ONE.

That noisy ‘me’ is part of ME.

That noisy ‘you’ is part of YOU.

Every part is part of THE EVERYTHING.

So it belongs and it’s not wrong.

It’s here to be seen and then seen through.

Until it’s quiet once again.

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Nothing Is Wrong (An Essay)

Nothing is innately ‘wrong’.

Never has been.

Never will be.

Not with you.

Not with life.

Not with the moment.

Not with the other.

THAT is the starting point.

And…

that acceptance of what is as it is right now,

without a skewed lens applied to it,

doesn’t mean you condone a thing.

And it doesn’t mean you passively participate in life because ‘it is what it is’, either.

It just means you see clearly and you move accordingly without the internal resistance to what is.

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The Past As A Scapegoat (An Essay)

The only reason why you haven’t ‘gotten over’ your ‘past’ is because you’re using it in the present to justify why you’re not free.

It serves your perceived limitation(s) perfectly.

I can’t be / do / have THIS thing right now because of that thing that doesn’t actually exist.

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People Choose When To Die (An Essay)

Every being chooses when it enters and leaves this world.

As well as what it enters into.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

It’s the human that can’t see beyond the illusion of form and time, thus believing something should or could have been different, and / or something actually went wrong.

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How Wars Begin (An Essay)

The ‘state of the world’ is an accurate and perfect out-picturing of the individual’s war within themselves.

So to be surprised by anything going on ‘out there’, especially when you’ve yet to contend with what’s going on ‘in here’, is kind of silly.

How could you expect or want peace in the world if you can’t even generate it within?

It starts and ends with you, boo.

It starts and ends with me, too.

But also,

there is no start and there is no end.

There is only what IS for infinity.

And if you’re fighting the is-ness of life,

yourself,

or another…

surprise, bitch.

That’s how wars begin.

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Don't Get Tricked By The Flashing Lights (An Essay)

“We’ve only just begun.”

“Now more than ever…”

“In these challenging times…”

No.

The same shit has been going on and will continue to go on for eons.

There is nothing new or groundbreaking or ‘worse than before’ happening.

Except to you / your mind / that mission-based and externals-believing self.

The ‘new’ that you perceive is your own increased awareness.

The lens getting clearer.

You’re seeing through more and more and it feels revolutionary (and you position it as such),

but it’s not.

It just is.

And it was before you and it will be after you.

The truth has been here this whole time.

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Everything Makes Sense (An Essay)

When you deliberately play at the energetic level,

when you see beyond the veil and make your moves from there,

you have the ability to look at all things / situations / dynamics retroactively - before you caught on to what you always knew - and you understand exactly what was going on.

You can pinpoint exactly when and why you or another deviated from truth and the natural / inevitable consequences of that choice.

Everything makes sense.

And when you ‘get’ the ‘energetics of dysfunction’ as it were,

that generate and and keep any toxic / twisted system / dynamic in place (which at the most fundamental level is just the deviation from truth),

you can no longer be surprised by anything that happens in the world / between humans / at an individual level.

Because it’s all the same.

And it’s a given that things would unfold as they did and do based on the black and whiteness of energetic truth.

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Clean + Dirty Narc (An Essay)

The ‘narcissist’ is the inversion of truth.

They are a void.

But not a clean one.

The void is compensatory.

They don’t care about you.

But not in a clean way.

The lack of care is compensatory.

They are selfish.

But not in a clean way.

The selfishness is compensatory.

They use things and others.

But not in a clean way.

Their using is compensatory.

And…

when someone IS a clean void

when someone truly doesn’t care (about illusions / matter / appearances / the false and self-victimized you)

when someone IS ‘selfish’ (self-sourced / in energetic integrity / unwavering / true move making regardless of others)

when someone uses ALL things and people (to sharpen, to erect, to deepen and purify themselves)

they appear narcissistic

to those still bound by themselves

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The Beautiful Thing About Narcissistic Abuse (An Essay)

The beautiful thing about ‘narcissistic abuse’…

(hear me out - and quotation marks because on the deepest level it’s not abuse of any kind - it’s a self-generated invitation to MORE)

is that it fundamentally changes you.

In that it propels you even more deeply and fully into YOU.

Into your power.

Into actual truth.

If that’s what you choose.

Stripping you of all the illusions / delusions that once brought and kept you dancing with the devil at the expense of yourself -

a choice you actively made.

The ‘narcissist’ wasn’t your kryptonite.

They didn’t hold any real power to derail you or your life.

It was everything that surfaced through your dance with them that was truly holding you back.

* that part *

And it was there looooooong before you two ever met.

The ‘narcissist’ was just the vehicle through which you could see your blind spots more clearly and if you were up for it - correct them accordingly.

This so-called monster was nothing more than an interchangeable player in your game because let’s face it…

If it wasn’t THAT narc it would be another narc until you learned what you needed to learn.

Until YOU changed.

Not them.

Because it was never about them.

And what they did or didn’t do was never about you either.

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