When Bullshit is Afoot (An Essay)

It’s not like I go around disrupting everyone and everything around me just because there’s bullshit afoot.

I don’t move until I’m moved.

When I can’t help but do it.

When it would be untrue not to whatever I’m called to do.

I never plan to fuck shit up.

I never ‘try’ to fuck shit up.

I just ‘apply pressure’ when it’s required because my being told me so.

And ‘applying pressure’ can look like anything.

It can look like speaking the truth.

It can look like not responding.

It can look like digging in.

It can look like not intervening.

The moment and the energy and the inner directive determines the move.

Not the person or the thing specifically.

Even when people in my life are going through the shit, I don’t pull a ‘Mandy’ on them just because I can.

Because unless it’s true, it does nothing for either of us.

The Mandy move only works when the energy between me and another is activated - the telltale sign that both of us are ready to play together and fuck shit up - without even knowing what’s about to go down.

And until I feel that pull, I don’t make a move.

And when I do, KA-BOOM.

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Victim + Saviour Bullshit (An Essay)

The impulse to ‘save’ someone from their own suffering by ‘helping’, ‘fixing’, ‘holding space’ or filling in the gap - actually affirms and prolongs it.

When you see yourself and others as you and they truly are - innately sovereign, self-governing and free - you wouldn’t dream of interrupting and slowing down the necessary burning that’s unfolding as a result of what they (as innately sovereign, self-governing, free beings) have created for themselves.

But that is precisely what you do when you say or do something from the misperception of ‘poor them’, and buy into the delusion that you have what they need or possess something they don’t.

This is also why you, at your very core, don’t want to be ‘saved’ (impossible anyways) when you’re in the shit.

What you actually want is to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

And you can’t experience that if you still believe in victims and saviours.

There are none.

There is just you and what you choose to do or not do in this and every moment with each and every person as the innately sovereign, self-governing and free being that you are.

Dropping saviour mode is not about being a heartless jerk as you watch another suffer.

It’s about seeing them clearly (powerful as fuck) and seeing what’s happening clearly (illusion running the show) and only doing what you genuinely feel pulled to do from that clean / clear spot of knowing; not from an illusory victim / saviour stance.

Because the only reason you’d ever jump into saviour mode in the first place is because you actually believe in victims and you’re arrogant and delusional enough to believe that you can actually save them.

#isaidwhatisaid

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The Energetic Flatline (An Essay)

The end point of any experience occurs when it feels flat / dead / empty / void of any charge.

Which has nothing to do with the person or the situation itself - it’s just the energetic cue that it’s time to play elsewhere (not necessarily physically) because a new scene is about to take place.

Yet most stay where it’s energetically dead with the hopes of bringing an expired experience back to life.

Imagining that something or someone matters more than honouring the current truth.

Hence, the flatline.

Because the end / the command / the brilliant move was missed.

And…

To ignore the cue of right now,

for any reason,

for anyone,

is to immediately diminish the quality of your experience.

Which is why it’s better to seamlessly move from one activated moment to the next by not hopping off the ride, than to try to bring something dead back to life.

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Contending With Your Instability (An Essay)

Whatever is brought to the surface when another is unresponsive or responds in a way you don’t like,

was already inside of you

and is ready to be sacrificed.

It’s up to you to face and dissolve (see through) what arose from the space that’s been created just for you and this.

You may think you need someone or something to relieve your discomfort,

to bridge the gap that exists solely because you’ve yet to collapse what’s between you and well…YOU,

but what you truly want is to be so energetically sound that nothing can move or distract you from YOU.

Or at the very least, to be moved less and less as you learn how to live from that still point inside yourself.

It’s no one’s job to fill in your gaps just to keep you stable.

It’s your job to contend with your own instability.

If something as small as another’s words or non-engagement is enough to disrupt you,

to create a ripple or a wave in your system,

to redirect your focus and energy,

you’ve got more work to do.

The most important work there is.

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The Anomaly (An Essay)

In complete stillness, what surrounds you is a vortex that spits out almost everything and everyone.

Matter is destroyed on contact.

Making it nearly impossible for anyone to make it through the tunnel unscathed, if at all.

The level of purity (lack of density) required for another to reach that still point of you, is immense.

And incredibly rare.

Making it that much more potent and extraordinary when an anomaly enters the scene.

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The Potent Space of No Gap (An Essay)

the space between what you know you’re here for but have yet to experience

and experiencing what you’ve always known was in the queue just for you (something far beyond extraordinary)

is the widest and most excruciating gap of all

and when that illusory yet deeply felt gap is no longer

because you’ve truly owned and landed in the depths and truth of YOU

it is the easiest and most natural thing in the world

it’s just you being YOU all the way

that thing that once felt so elusive

so impossible

so far from anything you’ve ever seen or known

(yet knew and felt deeply so nothing else would do)

is precisely what’s on the menu

when you ride the edge of YOU

you always knew it must be THIS (quality / vibe / level of WHOA) or nothing

absolutely nothing

because you’d rather die than have anything less

nothing less can hit that spot that’s felt and remained so empty

that tortuous split that invoked the most ravenous hunger inside you

that relentless yearning you tried to quell your whole life

to no avail

the feast your dreams are made of

and when you finally hit that delicious spot

that truthiest, yummiest, YOUiest spot

all the years it took dissolve into nothing

all the work it took dissolves into nothing

because THIS is what you’re made for

nothing less than YOU was gonna do

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A New Lens Every Day (An Essay)

The lens through which I see

myself,

the past,

and everything and everyone around me,

is always changing.

Every moment more refined than the last.

Clearer.

Sharper.

Yummier.

So fresh.

Seeing things I could not have seen a week ago,

even yesterday,

let alone a year or a decade before.

Seeing things tomorrow and every day thereafter,

that I don’t even notice right now.

Because the system constantly purifies itself.

Bringing up whatever is ready to go.

And once you’ve done the ‘heavy’ work of disrupting (facing and seeing through) the majority of your own shit (density/matter),

what remains is so much easier to navigate.

So much quicker to clean up.

Just like if you lived in an extremely cluttered home.

You can’t even get into the nooks and crannies because of all the shit in the way.

But once you’ve dealt with the overwhelming mass of clutter, you have the space and freedom to start beautifying the rest.

It’s the same with your energy.

When you finally face and deal with the mess you’ve created,

shit stops accumulating and then shit starts disappearing.

And soon enough you’re deep cleaning spots you’re just seeing for the very first time because your view’s now unobstructed.

And man, it feels so damn good.

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Bringing A Piece To Life (An Essay)

If it was alive in its creation,

that energy carries through the perception of time.

There is no expiration date on a work of art that pulses with the essence of its creator in their most raw and potent state.

Juxtapose this to a piece that’s created for anything other than the impulse and necessity of being true.

The piece falls flat.

It’s energetically dead.

And no amount of ‘time’ will bring that piece to life.

Because the energy it’s created with is the energy that remains with it (until it’s infused with something new, something true).

Which is why a piece from long ago can touch each new generation with the same intensity as the one before.

It isn’t just the sounds.

The visuals.

The words.

The hype.

It’s the energy it was sourced from, that carries it along, as if no time had passed at all.

When something is alive, you feel it.

And when it’s not, you don’t.

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The Is Why You're Bored (An Essay)

If the experience or person doesn’t arouse / activate something in you (even if it / they did a moment before), you really have no business fucking with it or them while that remains the case.

That flat / dead / boring / ‘can’t wait til it’s over’ vibe is your cue that:

a) it’s / they’re not for you in this moment

b) you’re also not for it / them in this moment (so you’re off the hook) and…

c) you said YES to a NO (or you wouldn’t have even gotten to the point of waiting for it to be over) which does absolutely nothing for you or the other, no matter what excuse you’re using to justify staying where you don’t belong (in an energetically limp dynamic because you’re not in full integrity).

You’re both better off not fucking with one another when the energy shifts.

Not only are there are plenty of other people and experiences in the cue ready to rock your world (and theirs) once you stop wasting both of your time pretending there’s something there when there’s not…

It’s also entirely possible that when you honour that (and every other) very obvious NO (towards the energy; not the person), an energetic shift will occur in the other and they’ll be ready to play a delicious new game that simply can’t be played when you go even 1° beyond your brilliant and powerful NO.

So until you take care of your side of the court, you’ll never know what’s actually possible (with every person and experience in your life) on the other side of every NO you keep choosing to ignore.

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The Source of Energetic Instability (An Essay)

Energetic instability (which shows up in countless ways) is the result of an inner deviation.

And the more frequently you do it, the more unstable your system becomes.

The accumulation of your unwillingness to be the living truth of YOU (which often spans years, even decades), creates matter (in your system, in your relationships, in your life) that would otherwise not exist had you remained in energetic integrity.

The great news is, all of that matter dissolves back into the nothingness from whence it came - in an instant - once you stop doing that wonky thing you do, and just start being YOU - full out.

You’re already YOU anyway.

Whether you deny who that is or not.

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When Your System Says NAH But You Do It Anyway (An Essay)

When I post incessantly, it’s true.

When I barely post, it’s true.

When I go to the party, it’s true.

When I leave halfway through, it’s true.

When I talk to a friend daily, it’s true.

When we don’t talk for months, it’s true.

No matter how inconsistent it looks in the physical,

it remains consistent in the non-physical.

The moves I make or don’t make, are true.

The only reason a person refrains from expressing what they want to as often as they want to (publicly or not),

or posts when they’d rather be offline,

or stays when they’d rather leave,

or calls / picks up despite not wanting to talk at all,

or anything else that makes their system go NAH (while they ignore the cue and carry on anyway),

is because something or someone matters more to them,

than being the living truth.

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I Call Bullshit (An Essay)

Her: “I have to master this level first.”

Before she can make the kind of money and moves she wants to make.

Me: “Did you really just say that to me?”

We both laugh.

“Once I…” is the perfect illusion / justification / delay tactic for not making the move that your system is turned on to make / take RIGHT NOW.

Not later.

It’s basically saying “I know that’s for me but let me ‘work on’ something else instead because I couldn’t possibly trust myself or my ability to create what I know I’m here for and keep saying that I want. I couldn’t possibly do something THAT crazy because of X but I’m sure that future me will trust me more than this me and then I’ll create what I’m here to create because by then X will no longer exist.”

Nah, bruh.

When you get the hit, you do it.

That’s how you collapse the illusion of X.

Because it never existed in the first place.

X is what you created to avoid the true move.

When you make the true move,

X ‘disappears’.

(Peep the Mandy Bite)

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You Don't Need Boundaries (An Essay)

Standards, boundaries and thresholds are what you create / enforce / adhere to / require when your energy doesn’t speak for itself, when you don’t actually trust yourself, and your choices aren’t sourced from the truth of each moment.

Trying to regulate / control your environment by making sure that others know you’re not available / only available for X, Y, Z, and then monitoring and dealing with any ‘transgressions’,

and being rigid on a particular stance that was conditioned or intellectually chosen in the past (which has no bearing on what’s actually true for you in the present without that contrived overlay),

is an attempt to do in the physical what you’re unable to do in the non-physical.

When your energy is intact, you don’t need to ‘manage’ who or what’s around you.

At all.

(Peep the Mandy Bite)

Built into your complete trust in, and devotion to, yourself and the truth of each moment - is your true standard - which is energetic; not condition-based, and THAT is what’s actually applied to all people and circumstances.

Not with words.

With your energy.

Without even trying because it’s integral to who you are.

From that place, you’re only available for something very specific.

Something you never have to name or explain or even think about.

It just is.

And those who don’t meet that very specific standard in that particular moment, don’t even make it through.

Not because you created a threshold or checked them at the door.

But because there actually IS a threshold.

And those who can’t withstand it,

just turn and walk away.

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Money is Malleable (An Essay)

Energetically speaking, there’s no difference between $5, $500, $5,000, $50,000, $5,000,000.

It’s what you add to the equation (the matter you create around a specific number or even the concept of money itself) that generates the illusion of one number being larger than the other.

The illusion that one number is inherently easier or more difficult to ‘acquire’ / ‘manifest’ / ‘receive’ than another.

The illusion that a smaller amount will take less ‘time’ to ‘make’ than a larger amount (or any ‘time’ at all).

The illusion that money means or says something / anything about you or anyone else.

The illusion that money has value.

The illusion that money is even real.

It’s not.

Money, just like every other piece of matter in your field, is a malleable illusion to play with as you wish.

Yet most people don’t play.

Especially with money.

Their experience of it is heavy and serious.

They perceive it as limited.

As a source of great stress.

As a reason to envy or judge others or to even judge themselves.

But on its own, money is nothing.

The idea that it’s fixed or solid,

as well as the experience / illusion / density of stress, fear, worry, envy, judgment and limitation around it…

is created by you; not money.

But it’s easier to blame money than to take full responsibility for yourself, your perceptions and your experience in any given moment.

Kinda like blaming someone else for your shitty day.

Not the vibe.

You’re not powerless to money - or to anything or anyone else for that matter.

When you stop imposing yourself on money, and you stop adding matter to the illusion of it, and you stop making it responsible for - the reason for - your feelings of perceived success, worthiness, happiness, safety, security, comfort, freedom and protection (or lack thereof),

money can move in ways and in sums and at speeds you can’t even imagine.

And…

you could ‘lose’ it all and not give a damn.

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Creating Beyond The Need For Money (An Essay)

I didn’t have the required amount of money to invest long term (and at times not even for single calls) with any of the incredible mentors I’ve worked with over the years.

And yet, I worked with the very best of the best.

Because who I am is beyond the illusion of money and the need to have it in order to bring absolutely everything that’s for me, at the very highest level, directly into my field without missing a beat.

I’ve always had this ‘ability’ (which isn’t an ability at all - it’s natural to one’s being) to draw to me what I most love and truly desire at the deepest level - in spades - in excess of what I thought possible - with plenty of cherries on top - in every season of life.

Regardless of my bank account.

Because what’s for me is delivered to me by me and the illusory externals never obstruct what shows up.

Ever.

So I exist quite naturally in a world that’s catered to me specifically.

(The same is true for you)

The most extraordinary offers land at my feet.

And it’s always a feeling of, ‘Of course.’

Of course when I couldn’t ‘afford’ X, Y, Z, something even richer, even more delicious, even more me, came right to my door.

There’s much to be said about all that can be created without a dollar exchange.

And just as much to be said about what’s created with one.

On either side of the this illusory coin,

it’s all just about the energy.

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I Know Why Things Aren't Working (An Essay)

Friend: “I don’t know why things aren’t working.”

Me: “I know exactly why.”

Friend: “I don’t want to hear it.”

Laughter on both ends.

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Dancing Around The Fire of You (An Essay)

I had a call with a hottie who was on fire until she started talking about her work.

As she spoke about it, the energy went flat.

I remained silent.

Then she stopped talking.

She asked what just happened.

She felt the shift as well.

It wasn’t what she said about her work.

It was that nothing true was coming through.

Which is why the energy of our very alive conversation died once she started speaking about it.

Moments later, she confessed that the thing she actually wants to write about publicly and express as part of her work and full being-ness, is the exact thing she feels she can’t write publicly about because of A, B, C.

The reasons don’t matter.

The fact that she’s denying herself and betraying her system of what it naturally wants to do more than anything else right now…

and the fact that she’s been withholding that expression for quite some time…

despite already knowing exactly what the first line of that extraordinary introductory piece is going to be and all that it will contain…

for fear of ‘exposing’ the truthiest truth she has ever experienced…

for fear of how others might react to said truth…

for fear of being THAT real…

and owning the full power of that truth and that level of self-expression…

is exactly why her work is flat and nothing within it is moving.

Tears.

Not because she was sad.

But because she knew that her being and her work now requires her to ‘expose’ (her word; not mine) that perfect and beautiful truth she’s been trying to avoid speaking about.

The one thing she always writes and talks around.

Expressing everything but THAT.

That one thing that’s more potent and powerful than all the other things combined.

That one thing that will break open all the rest that lays dormant as she hides behind the words that say everything but THAT.

Dancing around the fire of truth for fear of getting burned.

And now, a new choice.

If she so dares.

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A Little Coaching Secret (An Essay)

Even if they never talk about it publicly or directly, there is not one (great) coach / mentor / human who doesn’t regularly come up against their ‘shit’ aka their perfectly customized conditioning and does what it takes to remain free of it.

Where do you think all of that brilliance and wisdom comes from in the first place?

It comes from the same shit that everyone else faces.

They’re speaking directly (albeit seemingly indirectly through their posts) from having lived through exactly what’s being spoken about.

And the only difference between them (if they’re truly walking their talk) and everyone else (the majority of people who’d rather avoid actively looking at said shit), is that they genuinely want to play this game of facing and seeing through each illusion instead of allowing that mirage to lead their life.

Therefore, they do whatever it takes to become a master of themselves instead of a slave to their illusions, because for these kinds of people, there is simply no other option.

They’re here for the depth and breadth of living from the core of who they are, and built into that beautifully uncompromising desire is the requirement to face and learn how to play with all that arises; regardless of how it appears or what must be sacrificed in order to keep playing the game at a level befitting of these rare birds who are wholly unable to settle for anything less.

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How To Fuck Your Shit Up (An Essay)

When you think you have a money issue, you’ll naturally focus exclusively on that.

You want to get to the ‘root’ of it.

You want to take action or steps towards ‘solving’ / ‘fixing’ what you misperceive is the problem.

A lack of money.

When in fact, the area that you actually need to play with is the spot in your life where there’s the most amount of density / matter, which might not be money at all.

It could be your health, your relationships, whatever it is for you right now.

Because energy is energy and it doesn’t distinguish between areas.

Only you do.

You think it’s about money but the matter is in your marriage, for example.

Clean that up and voila!

Illusory money issues dissolve.

Because getting unjammed where it has been the most jammed, unjams you everywhere else.

So playing with the densest matter in your own life is the illusory ticket to those perceived pesky issues you’ve got going on.

Similarly, you could be obsessively focused on losing weight (to no avail) when what you actually need to do is leave that job you’ve hated for years.

Say sayonara to your boss and the weight comes off effortlessly.

Because you fucked with the shit (matter) that’s been weighing you down the most.

The shit that’s been jamming your system forfuckingever.

And just like magic, those other spots in your life that you couldn’t quite get a handle on, just start to flow like melted butter.

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It's You Choosing; Not Them (An Essay)

If I waited for other people to want to go out when I want to go out and to want to do the kinds of things I love to do, I’d never go out and do those things and my life would be boring as fuck.

If I cared what anyone thought about what I post / think / do, I’d never share myself as freely as I do online.

If I believed that after a ‘certain age’ I should or shouldn’t (fill in the blank), I wouldn’t live as I’m meant to live.

So fuck all that made up bullshit.

My life can only ever be lived and experienced by me.

I’m fully in charge of every single moment and part of it.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

Ever.

Same is true for you.

The people in your world can’t live your life or make your decisions and they certainly aren’t the least bit responsible for whatever the fuck you choose and experience.

That’s all on you.

You might use others to justify not living as fully and freely as you’d like,

to surrender to a sedated half-life,

but it’s you choosing that; not them.

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