“You’re the only person I know who walks their talk. Completely.”
The result of doing the work.
Not just sometimes.
All the time.
With everything and everyone.
I’m relentless when it comes to my game and those I choose to play with.
Exceptions aren’t made.
Least of all for those I’m closest to.
Because doing the work and living in truth is the most loving thing I can do.
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Breakups don’t break what needs breaking.
Being the living truth does.
That is what moves what needs moving.
It recalibrates every piece.
People ‘breakup’ in the physical because they don’t yet know how to break their attachment in the non-physical.
They’re trying to do ‘out there’ what they’ve yet to accomplish ‘in here’.
Thinking that rearranging ‘those’ things will inevitably take care of ‘these’ things.
It won’t.
Those things will remain messy things until you’ve actually cleaned up these things.
Which doesn’t mean ‘stay together’ (even that’s not ultimately real).
It means there’s no need to contrive an end.
The separation / split you seek happens of its own accord through energetic truth (integrity); not through an intellectual decision or an emotional reaction or a physical representation of IT.
And…
There is absolutely no way you can be in complete integrity (which almost no one is) AND be in a dynamic that requires severing something in the physical in the first place.
You would not have ended up there.
And even from that erect place, you can and will still apply any true move, which may of course include a physical separation (in truth; not in compensation).
But the work and the break is first done in the unseen.
The rest follows suit quite naturally.
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Relationships don’t need to be ‘worked on’.
Unless it’s the one with yourself.
Nor do they require any level of sacrifice.
Unless you’re sacrificing what’s false.
It’s not necessary.
Or energetically sound.
The vibe of trying,
reaching,
abandoning
(even just a little)
for or because of another…
kills the potency (and purity) that makes every dynamic thrive.
‘Working on’ the relationship by focusing on and considering the other, instead of tending to your own lane and operating from there, inevitably creates an energetically limp (attached / codependent / diluted) experience for both parties, despite how intense this dysfunctional bond might feel.
It’s a poor facsimile of the fire you actually crave that only comes from never leaving home.
From working on THIS; not that.
Because THIS is all there is and that will adjust accordingly.
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Last night I dreamed I won billions in a lottery.
And it didn’t feel any different than how my life feels with him in it.
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His submission to me,
through his submission to himself,
goes as deep as my own submission.
It cannot be another way.
He’s sourced from my very core.
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The thing about being energetically erect and intact (one’s natural state), and not playing (making moves) unless and until it’s still, is that it perfectly fucks with whatever matter I’m currently holding on to.
The exact shit that’s here to be burned by the fire of ME.
It also perfectly fucks with the shit of whoever I’m playing with.
If there are any strings of attachment (hoping / waiting / needing / trying / expecting / victimizing / or whatever other bullshit that needs to go), I don’t touch it.
But if I feel turned on despite and because of the matter, it means that it’s ready to get fucked with and I’m the bitch to do it.
So I play where it’s most alive.
Where I sense no limits, no restrictions, no actual end in sight.
Just a wide-open space to dive into unobstructed.
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as he and i deepen exponentially
it inevitably eclipses that which doesn’t hit as deep
there’s been this narrowing
a honing in
a natural devotion to THIS
and last night
a stunning and mind-blowing masterpiece
was added to the intimate gallery of us
and all i knew was stay here
because here with him
is truth
and when i left his place to go dancing
to be the Mandy i’ve always been
i left this man
for the very first time
as his
and he
as mine
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if i ever felt him leave himself
move for me instead of naturally
it would kill the vibe on contact
and the turn on would be gone
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My experience of love is contingent upon what’s stripped away;
not on what’s added up.
The amount of time.
The layers of meaning.
The stories amassed.
Nah.
Seeing through lies.
The stories that die.
The dissolution of matter and meaning.
Yum.
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You can only say YES to what can be seen.
And I only want what has yet to be dreamed.
Which can only come from saying NO.
Especially to a YES.
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Months ago while telling a friend about a moment with the fella that I was a HELL NAW to, she asked if I help a guy to shift the things that I’m not into, or if I just end things because of it.
My response:
I only do what the moment requires of me.
Whatever that may be.
Me making my true move does exactly what needs to be done.
Across the board.
With everyone.
I dropped deal breakers / boundaries / standards long ago.
They aren’t necessary.
And no, I don’t ‘help’ the fella shift his shit because that, too, is unnecessary.
He’s grown.
And his moves are not my business.
He can be however he wants to be.
I’ll make my moves accordingly.
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I don’t need the sex to get better every time.
I need our SEX to be true every time.
Which makes all the things,
including the sex,
the very best
every time.
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It’s not “How do I?” (lose the weight / make the money / get the partner / whatever the fuck).
It’s listen and obey.
That’s it.
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“How do I?” is sourced from a lie.
It implies that something is wrong / lacking and clearly needs fixing.
You think you need to lose the weight / make the money / get the partner / overcome the condition (whatever the fuck) to feel / be / do / have A, B, C.
But you don’t.
Be HERE.
Right NOW.
And do whatever you’re being called to do in each moment.
Illusory problem(s) solved.
But because you can’t handle the beauty and simplicity of being present in the moment,
or the responsibility of both listening to and honouring your innate brilliance,
or the potency of the fire that comes from being THAT close and devoted to YOU regardless of externals,
and you’re hell-bent on fighting against what IS because of your idea of, and preference for, how it ‘should’ be,
you take the long and completely ineffective way around the truth and power of who you are.
Any attempt to ‘fix’ what’s inherently not a ‘problem’ in the first place, cannot be sustained because it’s both sourced from, and being overlayed with, a fallacy.
Creating an endless loop of shit that never does the trick.
You think it’s about the food / the money / the body / the babe.
But it’s only ever about you vs YOU, which shows up in all the things.
And…
When you begin to see through it,
when you get to the place where you KNOW you’re good regardless of your size / your bank account / a relationship / your health (whatever the fuck),
and you know that YOU are bigger than (and the creator of) ALL those things,
(because THAT is the absolute fucking truth)
THEN you are free from the energetic gridlock that’s been keeping all that shit stuck like a mutherfucker.
THEN you get to experience what has always been on the other side of that illusory jail you’ve kept yourself in this whole time.
But until you figure that out and get to that place,
your perfectly orchestrated externals are going to do their brilliant magic to show you that what you seek (and already are) cannot be found within any of them.
Every door ‘out there’ is gonna close until you finally open the only door that matters with the key you’ve always had.
Man, I just love how that works.
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I don’t know,
or even care about,
who or what is on the (illusory) other side of this deepening.
I don’t care who or what stays.
I don’t care who or what goes.
I don’t care who or what arrives.
At all.
I only care about being right here.
Right now.
Connected to the truth and to the pulse of ME.
Why would I leave home for anything?
All that’s for me is right here at my feet.
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