Addiction

Mandy Bites On Addiction

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  1. What you’ve yet to own, owns you.

  2. Doing or not doing won’t correct what needs correcting.

  3. We each create exactly what we’re inevitably here to dissolve.

  4. It’s the inability to withstand the intense aliveness of being that drives the impulse to dilute or run from it, just as the inability to withstand it drives the impulse to seek that same jolt of aliveness through superficial means.

  5. There is a purity, an innocence, and a very clean desire at the heart of every addiction / compulsion.

  6. If the pain runs deep, the power does, too. Most fear the latter, so they settle on the former.

  7. When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.

  8. The addiction itself is not the issue. What’s sourcing the pattern of addiction IS. And even that is not an issue.

  9. It’s no one’s job to keep you stable. It’s your job to contend with your own instability.

  10. You are the only remedy for your suffering.

  11. You created X when you disowned the truth. When you own the truth, X disappears.

  12. You couldn’t end up with an ‘addict’ unless you were also an ‘addict’ yourself.

  13. Stop leaving here to go ‘there’ and the ‘problem’ dissolves.

  14. Addiction is what you choose in lieu of owning and applying your power.

  15. It hurts so you can learn how to not do that shit that hurts you.

  16. What's a little more poison when you're already sick?

  17. Every descent reaps more gold.

  18. The only ‘tool’ you actually need is custom-built into each moment.

  19. You don’t actually want to be saved. You want to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

  20. You ‘struggle’ where you’ve yet to own and apply your power.

  21. Stop buying into your own bullshit and you’ll be just fine.

  22. One must abandon themselves in the attempt to fill through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.

  23. Once upon a time, I fed myself to a wolf. I knew he was a wolf. And I wanted to be devoured.

  24. Your willingness and capacity to suffer with and for another, is not love (for yourself or the other).

  25. You only need to ‘cope’ when you choose to leave home.

  26. Regardless of the ‘issue’, it’s about your relationship to power.

  27. You only feel the need to ‘escape’ when you’re existing unnaturally.

  28. Addiction is the perfect way to ineffectively manage the discomfort of an inner deviation.

  29. Your ‘issues’ are adaptations you created yourself, in lieu of being you.

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Stop Feeding It (An Essay)

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You starve it by not feeding it.

Inwardly, that’s what you do.

“The ignored guest quickly leaves.”

So give it no reason to stay.

You can entertain the chaos.

The insanity.

The mind.

Go into the depths of hell.

Then post about your dark night.

Tell others about that ‘necessary’ initiation.

That ‘generational trauma’ that ‘lives in your bones’.

Be commended on your strength for ‘facing the beast’.

(For enduring yourself at the hands of yourself and calling it by another name)

Sure, you can do that.

But you could also not.

You feed the pain because you get off on it.

When you’re done getting off,

it’s gone.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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The Denser It Gets (An Essay)

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when you perpetually self-abandon

the denser it gets

and when you do this over an extended period of time

that density

that was once only energetic

becomes matter

becomes ‘illness’ (both mental and physical)

because your system was not designed for such a deviation

it was designed to let you know all you need to know

to remain clean and intact

forevermore

so when you choose to ignore that knowing

over and over and over again

your brilliant system will turn up the volume until it can’t be ignored

until you have no choice but to honour what you know and have always known

(you ALWAYS know)

so even your ‘sickness’ (both mental and physical)

is still your system being brilliant as fuck

it never fails you

even when you ‘fail’ (deny) yourself

it speaks to you

for as long as it takes

until you finally listen

and choose to obey

and once you do

the ‘sickness’ dissolves

because it only arose

to point the way home

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If You Really Love Me (An Essay)

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Most would rather have another cater / adapt to their dysfunction(s) / delusion(s) than to do the work necessary to correct it themselves.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

And most would rather do that for another to avoid their own discomfort in taking that same responsibility for themselves.

#letsstaysmalltogether

#fillinthegapsifyouloveme

#thatswhattheycalllove

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Rise Up (An Essay)

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When you look to another to give you something you’re refusing to give yourself,

what they offer will never hit the spot.

It’s yours to cultivate.

Not theirs to give.

And in your frustration of not getting what you think you want and need from someone else,

you point to them for not rising up adequately.

But it was you who did not rise up.

Hence your search for someone who would.

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Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

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I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there.

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