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The Bullshit of High-End Coaching (An Essay)

Last year a hottie made a comment to me about the low caliber of client that comes with charging low prices.

And she was really sold on this bullshit narrative because she was being charged, and was charging, a wild amount for ‘high-end’ coaching at the time.

Which in and of itself isn’t an issue.

I’m pointing to the idea that a certain price point yields a certain quality of person.

It doesn’t.

Energy leads.

Not money.

I worked with Sanna for a year and didn’t pay a dollar for it.

As if I was a low calibre client.

As if she wasn’t the best ‘mentor’ on the fucking planet despite not charging me a penny.

Nothing was reduced just because a dollar amount wasn’t attached and a dollar wasn’t exchanged.

But I digress.

A couple of weeks ago, the aforementioned hottie took me up on my $50 for 30 minute deal (a rare deal since I currently charge $750 USD for a 30 minute call).

I was delighted.

Obviously her narrative had changed, and we had a beautiful call unrelated to money.

Then last week, she asked to book a second call to talk specifically about money.

Because despite investing in and offering ‘high-end’ coaching, it hadn’t really panned out, her money was almost gone, and she was starting to freak the fuck out.

I asked how much remained.

The number was hella low.

And that number turned me on because of how low it was.

Because crunch time means truth time so let’s fucking GO.

Let’s get to the guts of what was avoided when she spent and made those big dollars while by-passing the absolute truth.

Because if the investment and the sales were sourced from that (meaning there was no matter whatsoever), she wouldn’t be freaked out by this low number and she wouldn’t fear what may or may not come from this point on.

She’d also see that the anxiety isn’t from a dwindling bank account at all.

It was always there.

Reliant on, and in response to, illusory external security (and lack thereof) since the internal still lacks the stability required to feel secure regardless of externals.

Now it’s just being highlighted.

Damn, I love the crunch.

Because despite appearances, the crunch doesn’t create anything that wasn’t there already.

It just just shows you exactly where you’re at.

What you’re REALLY working with.

And how easily you can be moved.

And that you still have work to do.

Because if you’ve been using money or another as the buffer between you and YOU, you’re gonna come face to face with that in the absence of the money or the other.

Good.

Now we’re actually getting somewhere.

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Don't Pay To Get Something (An Essay)

In a call yesterday, the fella was talking about high ticket coaches and the idea that he needed to invest in them to make those big dollars himself.

I said there’s no A to B connection.

If you’re investing in someone to make money or to ‘get’ anything, it’s not a clean move.

Sure it can ‘work’ for a while.

You might land some big ass sales.

But as long as there’s an ulterior motive, those dollars are counterfeit aka not pure which means you’ll still end up exactly where you were until you’re ready to strip everything that led you to chasing the money in the first place.

The idea of paying someone for a future something you think you don’t already have, has got to go.

Pay someone because it feels hot as fuck to play with them.

That’s it.

Not for the thing.

Not for some illusory outcome you’re banking on to get your ‘money’s worth’.

Only for the experience you can’t get anywhere else with anyone else because your being just told you so.

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True vs Counterfeit (An Essay)

A true life and a counterfeit life can appear the same on the surface but are eons apart underneath.

The first is the A side.

The true side.

Rich. Juicy. Alive.

The second is the B side.

The false side.

Empty. Flat. Dead.

You can tell which reality you’ve chosen not by how it looks, but by how it feels.

You can make a ton of ‘empty’ money.

Have plenty of ‘empty’ sex.

Work countless ‘empty’ hours.

But what’s the fucking point?

How about money, sex, time and love

that’s dripping with truth,

and overflowing with you.

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There Is No Final Frontier (An Essay)

There is no last piece.

No final frontier.

No specific area(s) you need to ‘work out’ once and for all and then you’ll be good to go for the rest of your life.

The game has no end.

You’ll never be done.

And the work remains the same.

You’re just playing with matter and its inevitable dissolution.

Regardless of the content or density.

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Seeing Through The Public Persona (An Essay)

You can swap the coach, the paradigm, the partner.

You can change the business, the lingo, and make big money.

You can lose the weight and hit a new personal record.

And STILL not shift energetically.

Just because you switched the box and the externals look different, it doesn’t mean a damn thing changed.

And just because others paint a superficial and strategically crafted picture of themselves publicly, doesn’t mean it’s the real thing, either.

These days, when I read certain posts from those I once looked up to, and they are still selling the same flat experience (but now in a sparkly ‘new’ package), those I thought had ‘made it’ and knew something I didn’t (since I didn’t yet trust myself fully) because I was reading their content (which is what sold me) instead of their energy (which speaks the actual truth)…

I can now feel where they’re really at, regardless of what they’re saying.

And in all this time, nothing got cleaned up.

They never actually moved.

They simply added new words, new offers, and new price points from that same exact place.

Pretending something new has taken place, and maybe it has circumstantially, but energetically it’s stagnant as hell and wasn’t truly alive to begin with.

But back then I was sold on the external narrative.

My ravenous desire to find answers to my perceived dilemmas, and relief from what ailed me, clouded my ability to discern between what was being presented in the physical and what was actually loud as fuck in the non-physical.

But the cleaner I got, the easier it was for me to read between those lines.

To feel the truth beyond the words.

To know where someone’s actually at instead of where they’ve positioned themselves to be.

So I came to understand that some of the most celebrated and followed ‘teachers’ are the ones drowning in the most illusion.

They’re energetic hot messes.

Which captivates and motivates those who are also drenched in matter.

They love the resonance.

The feeling of ‘same’.

I love the void.

The feeling of clean.

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The NO vs The Edge (An Essay)

When there is a big, fat NO in my system that I didn’t catch right away,

I feel sick in my throat.

It feels like dread.

It feels heavy and icky in my gut.

Things start to feel serious, tight, restricted.

And that dense feeling eclipses everything else until I figure out where the NO must be applied and how.

It doesn’t matter that I missed / ignored it the first time or how long I kept missing / ignoring my NO.

It doesn’t even matter who or what or why.

There’s a NO in my brilliant system and to keep saying YES to it would be a lie.

And that sick feeling is proof that I missed / ignored it and kept missing / ignoring it or else it couldn’t have gotten to the point of full-blown dread.

Who cares.

New moment.

New move.

Let’s rock.

Similarly and conversely…

When there is an edge in my system, I also feel sick.

Nauseous.

Hella nervous.

Like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster about to go down.

But there is no heaviness.

No dread.

No lump in my throat at all.

Nothing feels icky.

It feels exhilarating.

Fascinating.

Fun and light and limitless.

It feels yummy and also terrifying.

It’s not knowing what the fuck is gonna happen but being so willing to take this wild ride just because it’s true, and to let my fear stop me would be a lie.

And so…

A true NO is telling me to stop.

A true edge is telling me to GO.

That’s how I know the difference.

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Why You Don't Get All The Things (An Essay)

You don’t get ALL THE THINGS just because you’re ‘doing the work’.

You get ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE TRUE FOR YOUR BEING EVERY FUCKING STEP OF THE WAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE regardless of the work.

Which is what you’ve been getting since the moment you were born.

So doing the work doesn’t change the fact that you’re always exactly where you need to be in whatever circumstance you find yourself in that’s undoubtedly refining you beautifully.

Doing the work just ‘removes’ the illusory shit in the way of you seeing how fucking perfect it all is regardless of how it appears or what does or doesn’t happen because let’s face it, shit is always happening.

That’s life.

What is or isn’t happening is never the problem.

How we misperceive it, is.

Someone in a relationship isn’t more advanced / on track than someone not in one, and vice versa.

Someone with a fuckton of cash isn’t more advanced / on track than someone with nada, and vice versa.

Someone with a specific health condition isn’t less advanced / less on track than someone without one, and vice versa.

You can’t use external metrics to measure the quality of one’s inner experience or the precision of one’s energetic game because the work has nothing to do with the external even though, of course, it can impact it.

Things most definitely move more seamlessly when you’re actively doing the work simply because you’re not repeatedly jamming your own circuits with your own bullshit / clutter / mispercepetions / expectations.

And if you’re attached to what your ‘been doing all the work’ life should look like (the man, the fat account, 20 pounds lighter, whatever the fuck), you’re still not hitting the right spot because you’re aiming for something ‘out there’ to validate what you’re doing ‘in here’ instead of staying right here where the magic really happens (which has nothing to do with what does or doesn’t happen externally).

Doing the work (seeing through the matter) results in being okay no matter what happens and no matter what it ends up looking like, and trusting (well it’s even beyond trust — you just KNOW) that your being knows far better than you what the hottest concoction is for you every step of the way if you’d just get outta the damn way and do exactly what you know you need to do because you’re being told how to move in every fucking moment.

And it’s not that you won’t ‘get’ the cash or the man or the body whatever else it is you think you want.

It’s that you inevitably get to a place where you’re so fucking juiced even without it, that you’re not even feeling like a damn thing is missing (because nothing ever is), and you know that what’s truly for you is both inevitable and ever-present, and you know it’s the experience you’re after; not the thing itself,

as the unimaginable licks you from head to toe

in ways you never even dreamed of.

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How To Make Every (Non) Move (An Essay)

making your move

based on / for / because of another

based on / for / because of the external

based on / because of what you imagine may or may not happen in the illusory future you’ll never actually meet because it will always and forever be NOW

is not the vibe

you need to make every single move

and every non-move, too (same thing)

from and for you

just because it’s true

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It's Not About The Price (An Essay)

It’s not: ‘Of course they make a lot of money. Look how much they charge.’

If it was as simple as that, then why don’t you try to charge what they charge and see what happens.

Spoiler Alert:

Nothing beautiful will happen.

Because your move wasn’t true.

It was tainted with something artificial to prove.

There are people charging at every single price point for all kinds of things.

Some are making a killing.

Some are not.

And it’s not the price that determines that.

A high price doesn’t guarantee it will be sold.

Nor does a low one.

You already know this.

So it’s not about the price itself.

It’s about what’s actually true.

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Don't Touch Their Shit (An Essay)

People don’t shit on my posts.

But I often see people shitting on other people’s posts.

And people responding to said shit.

Engaging with said shit.

Thereby creating even more shit.

But here’s the thing:

You don’t have to touch another person’s shit.

Ever.

You can actually just let the person sit in their shit.

You can refuse to partake in their self-created shit show.

And when their thrown-about shit has nowhere to stick,

it lands exactly where it belongs.

With the shit disturber themself.

Who is now being confronted with their shit that wouldn’t stick.

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Tighter, Baby (An Essay)

How energetically sharp / clean / tight can you get?

Before you say anything.

Before you do anything.

When you say anything.

When you do anything.

How pure are you willing to be?

Is the true move to actually open that message?

To respond right now?

To write exactly what you wrote?

Did you even MEAN that?

Or were there add-ons?

Embellishments.

Half truths or whole lies.

Is the true move to answer the phone just because it’s ringing?

Or is it to call that person back?

Or to stop talking to them altogether?

Is the true move to spend your money on that particular thing?

For that amount exactly?

Or to not spend a dime.

And save every dollar you get.

Is the true move to take a nap?

To sleep in?

To stay up?

To go a whole week barely catching a wink?

Each of these things are oh-so little,

but they make up your entire life.

And the way you play with each little thing,

is how you conduct EVERY thing.

So how true are your moves?

How YOU are you?

And how much truth are you leaving on the metaphorical table because you automatically default to false?

If there’s any, it’s time to clean up.

As the fucking boss that you inherently are,

you gotta use whatever and whoever is in front of you right now,

to make your truest move and live your truest life.

You don’t have to wait for anything or anyone,

or for something BIG to happen,

in order to move like a beast.

No happening is ever too small.

And every single happening is what you must use,

to keep paving your way to YOU.

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Anything Less Is A Lie (An Essay)

My hands shook when I sent her the number for our call ($25,000).

An unexpected but completely accurate number for her and I.

A number I didn’t think my way to.

I just knew in a moment.

It’s this or nothing.

Anything less (or more) — a lie.

A lie that would soften the edge of ME.

And I’d rather die than do such a thing.

She could take it or leave it.

That wasn’t the point.

Nor was the amount I chose.

I’m here to ride my edge all the fucking way,

and see how far I go.

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Late To My Own Party (An Essay)

Years ago I wrote,

“Why is the world so late to my party?”

Because I knew what I was.

And yet, I could barely touch HER.

And I thought (rather felt — not even consciously — only in retrospect) that if others caught on before I did, I’d somehow land in ME.

Except plenty did catch on.

Plenty saw ME long before I saw HER.

Long before I could live as HER without the split that kept me blind.

It was me not showing up for MY party.

And I didn’t even know.

All I knew was that it hurt so bad,

to feel so damn far from ME.

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“I heard someone say that you should always be a half a step ahead because otherwise a full step is too far and people aren’t able to follow along. Sure, you stand alone but like… literally all alone. I’ve always felt so far ahead and also very much alone. This need to be understood and followed by others has what has kept me waiting and idling while I hope the world will catch up. Then… before I know it, someone else has created that thing that has been incubating and was now sitting dead and unhatched. To have a finger in the pulse of something that isn’t actually alive yet takes balls and yes... big ole dick energy to carry forth into the world. Always fucking waiting for the world to catch up is a trap. Plus… it’s not even fun doing shit everyone else is doing anyway. Man, what was I thinking.” Kristin Moyer

Overcompensating With Words (An Essay)

It’s never about the words themselves.

It’s about the energy sourcing them.

Which is why someone can speak or write the most beautiful piece,

but you still can’t feel a thing.

It’s flat.

It’s dead.

From the mind.

Not from being.

From a concept.

Not from truth.

It’s overcompensating with words,

for what has yet to be touched.

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Why You Chase BIG Dreams (An Essay)

Focusing on a BIG, seemingly ‘unachievable’ dream that happens somewhere ‘out there’ at another time that is definitely not now,

is the perfect way to cock-block yourself from making any moves at all.

That’s why you made it so BIG.

To make sure that you wouldn’t move.

And you blame the BIGness of the thing for the moves you aren’t making…

but you’ve created and are using the BIG thing to keep you from going too far.

And of course you can have BIG dreams (which are often just visions of you unobstructed),

but there’s a difference between knowing what you’re here for and making your moves from that knowing…

and experiencing that pulsating desire and then doing all that you can to put something,

anything,

between you and the very thing you’re most afraid to own.

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Elixir For Your Being (An Essay)

Regardless of the move, you can feel if it’s distorted or clean.

The matter is felt.

The lack of it as well.

If you’re not doing a particular thing, and that non-doing comes from avoidance, resistance, resentment, holding back truth, or any other energetically contracted state, it’s palpable.

Heavy.

Dense.

Gross in your system.

If you’re not doing a particular thing just because it’s true not to do it, with nothing attached to that non-doing at all, it’s clean.

Beautiful.

An elixir for your being.

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You Don't Need Closure (An Essay)

When you let a situation ‘bleed out’ (come to its natural and inevitable conclusion), you choose not to touch it because it doesn’t require an intervention.

It’s not avoidance.

It’s knowing through discernment.

It’s staying where it’s true.

Not remaining where it’s flat.

And…

It’s not true that you need ‘closure’.

To wrap things up.

To contrive an end point,

just so you can say it’s done.

It’s done the moment it flatlines.

Anything beyond that is just more of that.

So no need to state the obvious.

Or bring it back to life.

Just stay where it’s most alive,

as everything dead falls away.

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The NO And WHOA Are Equal (An Essay)

Every NO and WHOA is made equal.

Both are sourced from the absolute truth.

Both are hot in the system of anyone in contact with them.

Both are exactly what’s required in that moment (as is a yes/no).

Both add to your knowing (as does a yes/no).

Both source even more art (as does a yes/no).

So you’re always on track with your NO and your WHOA,

birthed straight from the death of your yes and your no.

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Stop Blaming A Lack of Money (An Essay)

Lack of money isn’t the reason you aren’t living your fullest and truest life.

You are the reason you aren’t living your fullest and truest life.

And lack of money is a by-product of that self-denial.

And…

It’s not about the money.

You can have nothing in your account and still make your truest move right now.

But you use lack of money as your excuse not to do that.

It’s an easy ‘out’ from riding the edge of life and of yourself.

The perfect excuse to keep saying NO to you.

And how freaking handy to blame your self-created, restricted inner experience on that clearly-more-powerful-than-you money.

That completely-outside-of-you money.

But here’s what’s true:

That ‘restriction’ you experience financially is simply the energetic restriction you’re living in constantly, projected onto, and out-pictured through, money.

Your system is jammed.

And so are your finances.

Because money doesn’t move before you do.

It’s already here.

Where are you?

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Layers on Layers of YUM (An Essay)

You don’t actively create your magic.

You get out of the way and the magic happens through you.

Like clockwork.

And as you purify your lens,

you experience more magic than ever before.

Layers on layers on layers of YUM.

But you’re not creating something new.

You’re unveiling what always was.

Just like a sculptor chipping away to reveal the piece they know is there,

you’re dissolving whatever imagined blocks you thought existed between you and all that YOU are.

And of course each unveiling feels newer.

Lighter.

Higher.

Truer.

Since you’ve unearthed even more through your perpetual excavations.

But it also feels like home.

Like it’s nothing new at all.

Because you’ve never not been home.

Home is what YOU are.

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