The NO

Mandy Bites On The NO

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  1. If it’s a NO for your being, it’s a NO for theirs, too. No exceptions.

  2. Your NO is telling you that a higher quality experience is available through and beyond said NO.

  3. Your system inevitably screams NO when you've ignored its multiple whispers.

  4. Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

  5. It stops when you do.

  6. no story = no problem

  7. There are times when a NO within an experience is enough to keep it fresh and intact energetically. And times when a NO must be applied to it directly, to maintain that same level of integrity.

  8. You demonize another to justify your perpetually ignored NO.

  9. My NO with him only adds to the turn on. Without that being my incentive to honour it.

  10. A true NO is telling me to stop. A true edge is telling me to go.

  11. You get what you say YES to. So don’t say YES to a thing. Keep saying NO to all that’s not IT. A living dream is all that remains.

  12. If you’re resentful and angry, you said YES to a NO.

  13. You can't access the MORE while saying yes to less.

  14. You already know. You’re not confused. You either honour what’s true or you don’t.

  15. Ignoring yourself is expensive as hell.

  16. No one loses from your NO. What they get is what’s most true.

  17. it doesn’t matter why a NO is a NO / or who or what it involves / the NO is to the energy / and energy never lies

  18. You need to be willing to say NO without having something to say YES to.

  19. Avoidance is passive. Non-engagement is active.

  20. The human makes excuses. The being just says NO.

  21. Saying nothing says everything that needs to be said.

  22. You wouldn’t need to draw a line with words if the line was energetically there to begin with.

  23. “Things were never the same after that.” After you stayed when you should have left.

  24. You really can’t override living in a NO. You either stop doing that or you suffer.

  25. There is no making it right from within the cage of self-betrayal. The ‘issue’ IS the self-betrayal; not the actual NO itself.

  26. You get what you say yes to. And all the shit that brings.

  27. At the end, you come to what you knew at the start. And actively chose to ignore.

  28. By the time you say to yourself or another, “This is the last time (…)”, you have already bypassed your NO, relinquished your power, and ignored that moment of knowing.

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Touché, Bitch (An Essay)

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Talking with a friend in a relationship that’s been the biggest NO forfuckingever…

Her: “But I love his family.”

Me: “More than you love yourself?”

Her: “Touché, bitch.”

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P.S. If you’ve never referred to me as ‘bitch’ (not ‘a bitch’ — although that would still be a compliment), do you even love me?

And if I haven’t called you ‘bitch’ while hyped up in a private convo / message / work call, either celebrating you or calling you out, do I even love you?

Of course.

But it’s still fun to ponder.

The Helliest Hell There Is (An Essay)

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Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

It’s a complete mindfuck.

It ensures you’ll continually be, and quite unsuccessfully, managing the content of the experience that you (often regrettably) said yes to, instead of enjoying the magic that’s delivered on the other side of each very exacting and undeniably brilliant NO.

It ensures that the experience you weren’t ever meant to be part of in the first place (cuz your NO fucking told you so), gets messier, uglier, louder and even more distorted and impossible to ‘resolve’, the longer you stay beyond said NO.

And until you recognize and own your original transgression (as well as each subsequent one), you’ll mistakenly point to the other (and what they are or aren’t being or doing), or to the situation itself (and all the ways it fucking blows) for why you’re so unhappy in the experience that YOU said yes to while knowing it was a NO.

You might even feel and begin to act like a victim of circumstance, and you can undoubtedly rally others to support this false narrative, but you knew from the start and you still chose to go so where is the victim in that?

It’s just easier to defer your power and call it by another name than to own it and tell it like it is.

It’s easier to blame your past for what you’re choosing and experiencing in the present than to do what needs to be done.

It’s easier to say yes ‘for’ or ‘because of’ this or that, rather than to honour that exquisite NO and take the imagined risk that such a bold move brings, without knowing why this just isn’t IT.

But you’ll learn soon enough.

You’ll inevitably discover firsthand why your system warned you against what you’re now in the midst of enduring, and are currently, often repeatedly, trying to extract yourself from.

And it’s perfect.

It was unavoidable.

And it’s all by your own design.

Because if you were seasoned enough to not do that wonky thing you do (ignoring what you know), you wouldn’t create these experiences for yourself to learn how not to get to the point where you’re at right now.

So you can’t lose regardless of how lost you feel or what you perceive you’ve lost through each ordeal, because each one effectively shows you where you veered off, and one day you just won’t.

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His Moves Are Not My Business (An Essay)

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Months ago while telling a friend about a moment with the fella that I was a HELL NAW to, she asked if I help a guy to shift the things that I’m not into, or if I just end things because of it.

My response:

I only do what the moment requires of me.

Whatever that may be.

Me making my true move does exactly what needs to be done.

Across the board.

With everyone.

I dropped deal breakers / boundaries / standards long ago.

They aren’t necessary.

And no, I don’t ‘help’ the fella shift his shit because that, too, is unnecessary.

He’s grown.

And his moves are not my business.

He can be however he wants to be.

I’ll make my moves accordingly.

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The Refusal To Stay Where It's False (An Essay)

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my NO with him only adds to the turn on

without that being my incentive to honour it

all i know in a moment is not this

what he does with that is not my business

not my ‘problem’

not a consideration at all

and yet

what he’s done with each zig and zag of me

has been heavenly

so dreamy

and

as i continue to ride each edge

making the entrance point more narrow

more pristine for the god in me

what awaits me on the other side of that perpetual sharpening

is the more that can’t be tasted

the more that can’t be felt

were i to choose to just deny myself

and abandon what is true

and it’s that whittling down to nothing

that refusal to stay where it’s false

that devotion to truth in each moment

(no matter what happens as a result)

that creates a vortex for the ALL

the ALL that can’t be named

the ALL beyond my wildest dreams

the ALL that’s sourced from NO

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You're Asking The Wrong Question (An Essay)

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It's not: "How do I get the clients / make the money / overcome the addiction / heal the pain / resolve this health and / or relationship 'issue'?"

It's: "When will I stop saying YES to a NO? When will I stop supressing what's true? When will I make being the living truth my full-time job regardless of who or what is in front of me?"

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The NO vs The Edge (An Essay)

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When there is a big, fat NO in my system that I didn’t catch right away,

I feel sick in my throat.

It feels like dread.

It feels heavy and icky in my gut.

Things start to feel serious, tight, restricted.

And that dense feeling eclipses everything else until I figure out where the NO must be applied and how.

It doesn’t matter that I missed / ignored it the first time or how long I kept missing / ignoring my NO.

It doesn’t even matter who or what or why.

There’s a NO in my brilliant system and to keep saying YES to it would be a lie.

And that sick feeling is proof that I missed / ignored it and kept missing / ignoring it or else it couldn’t have gotten to the point of full-blown dread.

Who cares.

New moment.

New move.

Let’s rock.

Similarly and conversely…

When there is an edge in my system, I also feel sick.

Nauseous.

Hella nervous.

Like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster about to go down.

But there is no heaviness.

No dread.

No lump in my throat at all.

Nothing feels icky.

It feels exhilarating.

Fascinating.

Fun and light and limitless.

It feels yummy and also terrifying.

It’s not knowing what the fuck is gonna happen but being so willing to take this wild ride just because it’s true, and to let my fear stop me would be a lie.

And so…

A true NO is telling me to stop.

A true edge is telling me to GO.

That’s how I know the difference.

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The NO And WHOA Are Equal (An Essay)

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Every NO and WHOA is made equal.

Both are sourced from the absolute truth.

Both are hot in the system of anyone in contact with them.

Both are exactly what’s required in that moment (as is a yes/no).

Both add to your knowing (as does a yes/no).

Both source even more art (as does a yes/no).

So you’re always on track with your NO and your WHOA,

birthed straight from the death of your yes and your no.

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