To Eat Or Not Eat Pie
Her: “I didn’t even want the pie but I ate a few bites. And when I put down the fork my mom said “pick that back up, you’re not going to make me finish this all by myself” and I fucking PICKED UP THE FORK AND KEPT EATING THE THING I DONT LIKE to a) not waste food / money? B) to appease my mom and her disordered eating?! Like wtf? I did this all subconsciously and now writing it out it’s so fucked up. And then my stomach hurt the rest of the way home because I already know it can’t handle cream.”
Me: “Also, often it’s just ‘easier’ to go along with things than to challenge them and deal with the discomfort of what others would say or think of you acting in truth. But the discomfort still shows up regardless — like a sore tummy.”
Her: “Oh yes! When my mom told me to eat, I shot her a look and the tension was palpable for a moment and I eased it by picking up the fork. But instead of being diffused, the tension just added to the pile of thick tension we both carry in our relationships to each other and to food.”
Me: “thick pile of tension” = repeated swallowing of truth. It’s about personal power and the all the ways we give it away.”
△
The ‘issue’ (money / health / food / relationships etc) is never the actual issue.
ALL so-called ‘issues’ point to all the ways you avoid owning and standing in your power.
Because it’s ‘easier’ not to be sovereign.
Except that’s a lie.
You pay either way for deviating from truth.
And…
that’s not a problem.
It’s the breeding ground to learn how to not do that shit that hurts you.
And you can blame the subconscious and the conditioning and others all you want,
but you ALWAYS. FUCKING. KNOW. when something is a NO.
You always know what’s up.
And when the tension of being in your power feels far too great…
You swallow it.
And make yourself sick.
Until,
of course,
you don’t.
▽
Explore Mandy Bites on Power
Book The Cut or Leave A Tip
Browse The Archives
Read The Poems
