It’s amusing to me now to think of who and what I used to go to for answers.
Plenty of people.
Plenty of books.
Plenty of tools that left me out of my own equation.
People and things who couldn’t possibly take me to where I actually needed to go (to the edge and depths of myself), yet their inevitable inability to do so was perfect.
Because I eventually got tired of outsourcing.
And became adept at sourcing from within.
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You don’t actually want to be saved.
You want to be the Master of yourself
and the domain that’s housed by YOU.
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remaining energetically intact
(being in full integrity with yourself)
is the most loving
helpful
and beneficial thing
you can ever do
for the world
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The only thing ‘lacking’
in anyone I’m on a call with,
is their willingness to trust and act on their own knowing.
They KNOW.
They know they KNOW.
But they question and ignore what they KNOW.
That’s the only glitch.
The game changer and the only required ‘shift’ then,
is trusting and then moving,
or not moving,
based on what they KNOW.
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the work
the art
the beauty
the play
is learning how to freefall
into the deepest
richest
rawest
purest
sharpest
and most potent point
within yourself
without sight
with no concern
for what’s left behind
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Instead of seeing those who are uncompromisingly themselves as bold or brave or rare or strong,
question why someone being powerfully themselves is remarkable at all.
It’s not.
It’s natural.
Not being who you are and not being in your power is what’s unnatural.
What’s remarkable is how many people exist so unnaturally.
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When a friend of mine found out what I charge for a call:
Him: “Now that’s charging what you’re worth.”
Me: “No. I charge what turns me on.”
Which can change at any time.
Higher.
Lower.
Free.
Irrelevant.
I don’t associate money to (perceived) worth or value (two illusory constructs).
I play with the tension of it.
I work my way up or down with the price and the details of a specific offer until I feel a tad nervous or even nauseous about it.
Like I’m about to jump off a cliff (because energetically I am), which is just how I like it.
If the number makes me feel like, “Holy fuck. I couldn’t possibly charge THAT for XYZ.”
…then THAT is the fucking number.
No question about it.
Because it requires me to cross the same energetic threshold that my client will need to cross in order to pay it.
A turn on for us both.
When I ride my own edge, a client will need to ride theirs as well if they want to play with me on said edge.
You see?
It’s never about the number.
And it’s not about charging the most (unless that’s the truth).
It’s about selecting the sharpest point of truth and turn on, which could change from one moment, one day, one offer or one client to the next.
So I’m not attached to the number.
The moment a number feels energetically limp, I’m playing with a new one.
The new true one.
Until the next true one.
So fun.
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eroticism
freedom
truth
power
can only be self-sourced
and…
once that’s your baseline
(as it should be — it’s your natural state)
then everything else
including kink
is an extension
and expression
of this
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A fellow from many years ago (who I never wrote about)…
Him: “The only thing worse than being written about publicly, is not being written about at all.”
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when it comes to co-creative energetic magic making
if someone claims they need the ‘results’
the numbers
the past or future whatever
to be quantified before choosing
to work and play with you
they aren’t close to being ready
to work and play with you
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It’s not necessary, possible or even favourable to be completely free of your conditioning / ego / false self / illusions.
It’s your custom-made, blade-sharpening playground.
And…
The deeper you go,
the more creative it gets,
and the more precise you get to be.
Which can be exhilarating.
But only once you’ve cut through the majority of its density.
Until that point, it feels painful, real and incredibly overwhelming.
You only catch occasional slivers of something beyond it before it fades back into chaos as quickly as it came.
And from that vantage point, it’s hard to imagine a life lived primarily from that clarity you only caught a glimpse of.
But it’s possible.
And inevitable.
Of course it can be this good.
This rich.
This deep.
Because ultimately it’s who you actually are underneath and beyond the conditioning that’s been created by, and gifted to, you.
Providing endless portals to places that you could never imagine,
but are just an ‘of course’ to YOU.
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It’s not that the paradigms, tools, processes and various healing modalities don’t work.
They absolutely do.
For many people.
Just not all people.
For one leg of the journey, but not the next.
Some have tried it all, dabbled in various mystical playgrounds on their ‘search’ for what and who they already are, and these things still never hit the right spot.
Or if they did, it wasn’t for long.
So naturally, being the seekers of truth and freedom that they are, they continued their search and began exploring what lies beyond the edge of what they once believed was IT.
Most don’t have a pull to do such a thing.
They’ve already found what works great for them.
So that’s exactly what they use and teach.
And some, with incredible results.
But for those who’ve yet to come across their version of IT, it’s a painful realization that the thing they thought was IT, wasn’t actually IT for them…
and that even though IT works amazing for many of the people around them who have already found and landed on that thing that could potentially serve them and their clients for the rest of their lives…
there is infinitely more to be tasted,
for the ones who have yet to hit IT.
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Much of the time it’s me initiating with those I want to work / play with because I just KNOW.
Immediately.
THIS.
RIGHT NOW.
Regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.
If there’s a pull, I act.
If there isn’t, I don’t.
And when others reach out, it’s the same.
I just KNOW.
Immediately.
THIS.
RIGHT NOW.
Or not.
At all.
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Overheard while someone was talking to a friend:
“Yeah, and she said that I’m the kind of person the universe will take care of.”
Implying that there is something outside of us that will take care of some, but not all, and that this care is contingent on the type of person one is.
Oh, and that we aren’t responsible for ourselves and our creations.
Something else is.
Nah.
We are god in the flesh.
We are the universe itself.
There is no separation, except in the mind.
We don’t need to hope or wait or pray to be taken care of by another, or by some external, invisible force.
We each have the power right now to choose.
And ‘Waiting on God’ is waiting on YOU.
Doing something, anything, with the intention, hope and belief that you’ll be seen, favoured, and blessed by the gods (or god itself) is denying the power of YOU.
Nothing is outside of YOU.
YOU are all there is.
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forgetting that you’re completely in charge of
and responsible for
yourself
your choices
and every piece of your life
inevitably leads to:
pain
suffering
and feelings of (pick your poison):
powerlessness
victimhood
depression
dread
resignation
boredom
fear
anger
apathy
doubt
worry
anxiety
and even more unsavoury vibes
so you can live in that forgetfulness for life (most do)
or…
choose power
choose freedom
choose truth
choose you
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Today in the inbox of a hottie who’s clearly been feeling my posts and is ready to fucking POP:
Me: “I know YOU are ready. So what are you waiting for?”
Her: “I’m so fucking ready. All of a sudden as if overnight, everything has shifted and I am here.”
Bingo.
I called it.
Because I felt it.
So I made the move.
She then goes on to tell me about all the magic that transpired for her yesterday and last night — including a delicious chunk of money from someone who wanted to express appreciation for work she had done for him years ago.
Me: “HOT. Perfect. Of course. Are you ready to book our call?”
Her: “Yes. Let’s do this.”
Done.
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being in your power
in full integrity
in the truth of who you are
naturally activates
and provides a portal for
those who are ready to do the same
so…
you needn’t
(and mustn’t)
move an inch
nor a millimetre
from the depth
and core
of you
to be the perfectly-timed catalyst
the inevitable co-creator
for the ones who dare to free-fall
into the truth they’ve always known
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when you refuse to deviate from yourself
for anything
for anyone
at any time
then…
you live
your life
as a god
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If neither of you are in your power, it’s not pure, clean love because it’s based on illusion / need / dependency / standards / etc (aka distortions), and not on the truth of each moment / movement, which can only be discerned and honoured from said place of power.
It’s a poor facsimile that doesn’t even come close to the level of intimacy experienced by two people who are truly living in integrity and are thereby (distortion/clutter) free to choose truth in every moment, regardless of the other.
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