Exhaustion comes from self-abandonment
(a lack of integrity)
while dealing with other people;
not from dealing with other people.
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Exhaustion comes from self-abandonment
(a lack of integrity)
while dealing with other people;
not from dealing with other people.
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Having a traumatic childhood doesn’t absolve you from taking full responsibility for yourself and your life as an adult.
Many of us grew up in hellish environments and circumstances.
And?
So?
How long are you going to use that as an excuse for how you and things are?
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The fire you actually crave
comes from never leaving home.
From working on THIS; not that.
Because THIS is all there is
and that will adjust accordingly.
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You starve it by not feeding it.
Inwardly, that’s what you do.
“The ignored guest quickly leaves.”
So give it no reason to stay.
You can entertain the chaos.
The insanity.
The mind.
Go into the depths of hell.
Then post about your dark night.
Tell others about that ‘necessary’ initiation.
The ‘generational trauma’ that ‘lives in your bones’.
Be commended on your strength for ‘facing the beast’.
(aka enduring yourself at the hands of yourself and calling it by another name)
Sure, you can do that.
But you could also not.
You feed the pain because you get off on it.
When you’re done getting off,
it’s gone.
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Most would rather have another cater / adapt to their dysfunction(s) / delusion(s) than to do the work necessary to correct it themselves.
And most would rather do that for another,
to avoid their own discomfort
of having to take that same level of responsibility
for their own deficiencies.
#letsstaysmalltogether
#fillinthegapsifyouloveme
#thatswhattheycalllove
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The ‘thing’ about a diagnosis / label…
is that it’s a thing.
Which exists only as a concept / ‘reality’ on the level of form.
But beneath and beyond that, is the actual truth.
Free of all concepts / ideas / illusions of constraint.
Free of the need to attach meaning to things.
And free of the necessity to label such things.
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“Hey, I ignored myself. Can you do me a solid and correct it on your end?”
What you’re actually saying to someone when you ask or expect them to change.
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She has the time.
Just not for you.
She’s in the mood.
Just not for you.
She’d do it all.
Just not for you.
Because your game is weak.
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You might use others to justify
not living as fully and as freely as you’d like,
to surrender to a sedated half-life,
but it’s you choosing that;
not them.
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People pleasers aren’t any less controlling or manipulative than those who ‘take advantage’ of them.
Both are positioning themselves, and using others, to get their artificial needs met.
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One must abandon themselves in the attempt to ‘fill’ through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.
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Whatever the addiction / compulsion is makes no difference.
It’s only ever about one’s relationship to their own power.
Which is perfectly demonstrated / out-pictured through
their relationship to,
and their experience of,
said substance or behaviour.
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if you wouldn’t choose it again today
and again right now
if the slate was clean
(it is)
then there’s a reason
you’re choosing to overstay
and that reason is not truth
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your past
your thoughts
your trauma
your pain
your parents
your partner
your kids
your ex
your current circumstances
and your mental health issues
are not why you’re not free
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you would never…
have to talk about your relationship
have issues in your relationship
have to work on your relationship
#workingonitneverworks
if you were both in complete integrity
and fully in your power already
#relationshipgoalsamiright
you’d just be in your relationship
doing the blessed thing
the most natural thing in the world
#loveiswhoyouare
‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth
you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court
you have been looking to
and waiting on
the other for something that’s not theirs to give
and that accumulation of bullshit creates ‘problems’
as it should and as it must
not because ‘all couples have problems’
but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything’ — have problems
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It doesn’t matter why someone isn’t ready.
Or if they will ever be.
If they can’t walk through that door with you,
that’s all you need to know.
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Her: “Are you DONE done with him?”
I don’t need to be done with him.
Or with anybody or anything else.
I just need to be exactly where I am in each moment.
People and things will be here as well — or they won’t be.
Who cares.
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Him: “When we’re together like this, it feels like anything is possible.”
Me: “Because it is.”
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By the time you say to yourself or another,
“This is the last time (…)”,
you have already,
and once again,
bypassed your NO,
relinquished your power,
and ignored that moment of knowing.
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Ultimately,
I don’t trust anybody.
I don’t need to.
I trust my knowing.
I trust myself.
And therefore, every move by proxy.
Which is why…
I don’t require another to be ‘trustworthy’.
I know when truth is present and when it’s not.
Which has nothing to do with the person.
And everything to do with the now.
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