Essays
If you sacrifice yourself for another,
it is not love.
If another sacrifices themselves for you,
it is not love.
But sacrificing all that is not you,
all that is not true,
is the mandatory crucible you must perpetually face
if you are to experience the purest and deepest love (un)imaginable,
both within and beyond.
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You can’t convince someone to go where you’ve yet to go yourself.
Plus, if you were there already, you’d have no desire to convince another of a thing in the first place.
The only reason you’re trying to convince them to go there is because you’re using them not being there as the perfect excuse / distraction for you to stay exactly where you are.
You’re literally wanting them to do the very thing you’re not even willing to do for yourself instead of you just doing the damn thing already.
If and when you actually do choose to go there (whatever that edge is for you), they’ll either join you there or they won’t.
Illusory problem solved.
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“Oh, I could never do that.”
'That' being the thing you think others couldn't handle or won't understand.
‘That’ being the thing you actually want to do, but won’t allow yourself to do, so you use the imagined response of said others as the excuse not to do it.
But you can and you must do that thing specifically if you want to ‘break free’ from the make-believe shackles that those supposed others have got you in.
The chains that you so brilliantly created,
and wrapped around yourself.
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Physical sex on its own doesn’t do it for those who constantly make love with life from the depth of their being.
They require and have the capacity to experience the truth and edge of SEX at all times,
in all ways,
beyond the physical.
Even when it includes the physical.
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You think it’s the money you want.
But it’s not.
You want the experience of completely trusting your innate power and ability to create anything from nothing (including the money).
Regardless of circumstance.
Regardless of another.
Because you know without a shadow of a doubt that everything in your life (including money) is completely sourced from you.
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Aim for money.
Or live in truth.
One keeps you busy.
One keeps you still.
And guess what come from stillness?
ALL the things.
Including money.
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When you get to the point where ‘nothing is working’ anymore, it’s because you’re now being required to trust the unknown, and yourself, instead of relying on something or someone else to ‘make it work’ for you.
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A beautifully raw reckoning.
A potent life recalibration.
A pivotal unleashing of one’s innate power.
This is what happens through a call with me.
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When you stop focusing on or worrying about others (your fellow innately powerful and sovereign beings), and instead start to focus on cleaning up your shit, there’s a high fucking chance that those others will also begin to clean up their shit as well, without you even saying a word.
Even if your redirection is disruptive or confusing for them at first, if there’s a part of them that’s ready to rock and roll, they will.
Which is why those closest to you (or anyone else in your field) can experience a reduction, if not the complete dissolution, of addiction, depression, disorders, ailments, anxiety, etc (the things you keep worrying about with regards to them), because you being fully in charge of yourself provides the opportunity (energetic framing) for them to land in that same powerful energy inside themselves.
It seems like magic.
But it’s not.
In one’s purest, most natural, energetic state, none of those unsavoury things actually exist.
It’s impossible.
They’re just how one copes with not being in, and applying, one’s power.
When someone has deviated from the truth and natural movements of their being (a complete betrayal to one’s system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract one’s self with self-created ‘issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don’t) had they remained in their power (their natural state) in the first place.
Thus, these ‘issues’ were created and held onto for a reason.
And when that reason dissolves, POOF goes the issue.
That’s how people can ‘cure’ themselves of ABC without years of XYZ.
It’s always and only about the energy.
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“Thank you for giving me a Mandy slap. It had to blow up. It had to collapse.”
I received this feedback yesterday from a hottie who had been spinning in circles forfuckingever.
Attempting to control what felt out of control for fear of what might happen if she just let go.
She said she had been doing this her whole life.
Talk about exhausting.
And talk about how much power she possesses if that much effort is required to suppress it.
When we chatted I didn’t mince my words.
Even though she was experiencing the rawest edge and pain.
A spot that most seek to soften for another.
Because it makes them uncomfortable.
Because they want to ‘help’.
Because they can’t see what’s really going on.
Because they actually believe the pain is real.
But the true being doesn’t experience pain.
The person who is out of touch with their true being, does.
(There’s more to this - for another time)
So I went right in.
To the eye of her storm.
Because I knew she was at her tipping point.
The hottest place to be.
Energetically, her system was BEGGING me to destroy that which appeared to be destroying her.
So I did.
By speaking directly to HER.
Not her.
And she collapsed on the spot.
Of course.
Then SHE began to erect.
Naturally.
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You don’t need to ‘create more space’ or ‘expand your energy’ to ‘hold’ more of anything.
Especially not clients or money.
Energy can’t be expanded anyways.
It already fucking IS all it could ever be.
It’s already at your fingertips.
It’s what you fucking ARE.
But if you’re in a container, that energy is sure as hell being contained.
So yes, in that energetically limp dynamic, you have to do the illusory work of creating space to hold shit that doesn’t even need holding.
You inevitably experience caps on things because you keep collapsing from things because you’re not already in your cleanest energy that requires zero upkeep or upgrades.
So you think (and are told by your fellow container mates) that you need to clear more things to make room for each illusory next level.
You know, ‘expand the container’ to ‘receive’ more type shit.
Emphasis on ‘shit’.
It’s not more space for / or more money that you want.
It’s YOU completely unobstructed that you crave.
I can help with that.
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No matter how high-quality or high-end the container is or appears to be, its very structure prevents you from accessing your own knowing.
And guaranfuckingteed the container holder hasn’t fully accessed theirs either (or they’d be done with containers themselves), so how on earth can they take you to where they haven’t dared to go themselves?
It’s impossible.
They don’t even speak that language.
The language you speak but have yet to have spoken to you.
You’ll never access the full depths of yourself while being coddled away from who that is.
There’s another way.
An easier way.
And it’s a helluva lot more fun.
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It’s amusing to me now to think of who and what I used to go to for answers.
Plenty of people.
Plenty of books.
Plenty of tools that left me out of my own equation.
People and things who couldn’t possibly take me to where I actually needed to go (to the edge and depths of myself), yet their inevitable inability to do so was perfect.
Because I eventually got tired of outsourcing.
And became adept at sourcing from within.
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When you surrender (hand your power over to something or someone else / settle for less than the absolute truth of you), you create suffering for yourself in some way, shape or form.
You’re not here to hand over even an ounce of yourself.
To any person.
To any thing.
At any time.
You’re not here to say YES to a NO.
To compromise.
To over-reach.
To shrink.
You’re here to be YOU,
intact.
With all the magic that this brings.
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remaining energetically in tact
(being in full integrity with yourself)
is the most loving
helpful
and beneficial thing
you can ever do
for the world
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The only thing ‘lacking’ in anyone I chat with, is their willingness to trust and act on their own knowing.
They KNOW.
They know they KNOW.
But they question and ignore what they KNOW.
That’s the only glitch.
The game changer and the only required ‘shift’ then,
is trusting and then moving,
or not moving,
based on what they KNOW.
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the work, art and play
is learning how to free fall
into the deepest
richest
rawest
purest
sharpest
and most potent point
of truth
knowing
trust
power
intimacy
safety
and integrity
within yourself
without sight
with no concern
for what’s left behind
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Instead of seeing those who are uncompromisingly themselves as bold or brave or strong,
question why someone being powerfully themselves is remarkable at all.
It’s not.
It’s natural.
Not being who you are and in your power is what’s unnatural.
What’s remarkable is how many people exist so unnaturally.
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When a friend of mine found out what I charge for a call:
Him: “Now that’s charging what you’re worth.”
Me: “No. I charge what turns me on.”
Which can change at any time.
Higher.
Lower.
Free.
Irrelevant.
I don’t associate money to (perceived) worth or value (two illusory constructs).
I play with the tension of it.
I work my way up or down with the price and the details of a specific offer until I feel a tad nervous or even nauseous about it.
Like I’m about to jump off a cliff (because energetically I am), which is just how I like it.
If the number makes me feel like, “Holy fuck. I couldn’t possibly charge THAT for XYZ.”
…then THAT is the fucking number.
No question about it.
Because it requires me to cross the same energetic threshold that my client will need to cross in order to pay it.
A turn on for us both.
When I ride my own edge, a client will need to ride theirs as well if they want to play with me on said edge.
You see?
It’s never about the number.
And it’s not about charging the most (unless that’s the truth).
It’s about selecting the sharpest point of truth and turn on, which could change from one moment, one day, one offer or one client to the next.
So I’m not attached to the number.
The moment a number feels energetically limp, I’m playing with a new one.
The new true one.
Until the next true one.
So fun.
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eroticism
freedom
and power
can only be self-sourced
and once that’s your baseline
(your natural state)
then everything else
(including kink)
is an extension
and expression
of this
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