Victim Bullshit
“I wish things could be different.”
Translation: “I wish I could stay the same and also have you put up with all that entails, but since you’re holding me accountable and I’d need to do the actual work required of me for us to continue, I guess this is the end. But if you change your mind and want to settle for even less in the future, you can always count on me.”
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the things you identify with
or (mis)perceive yourself to be
your past
your pain
your story
your race
your age
your body
your gender and orientation
your role as this
your status as that
your (fill in the blank) that matters so much
all of these things
at the deepest level
are not who you actually are
and the more strongly you identify with whatever it is
and get heated as you protest for or against it
or heaven forbid
attempt to protect it
(because who would you be without ‘it’)
the further you are
from the ultimate truth
hence your need to identify
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Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.
It’s a complete mindfuck.
It ensures you’ll continually be, and quite unsuccessfully, managing the content of the experience that you (often regrettably) said yes to, instead of enjoying the magic that’s delivered on the other side of each very exacting and undeniably brilliant NO.
It ensures that the experience you weren’t ever meant to be part of in the first place (cuz your NO fucking told you so), gets messier, uglier, louder and even more distorted and impossible to ‘resolve’, the longer you stay beyond said NO.
And until you recognize and own your original transgression (as well as each subsequent one), you’ll mistakenly point to the other (and what they are or aren’t being or doing), or to the situation itself (and all the ways it fucking blows) for why you’re so unhappy in the experience that YOU said yes to while knowing it was a NO.
You might even feel and begin to act like a victim of circumstance, and you can undoubtedly rally others to support this false narrative, but you knew from the start and you still chose to go so where is the victim in that?
It’s just easier to defer your power and call it by another name than to own it and tell it like it is.
It’s easier to blame your past for what you’re choosing and experiencing in the present than to do what needs to be done.
It’s easier to say yes ‘for’ or ‘because of’ this or that, rather than to honour that exquisite NO and take the imagined risk that such a bold move brings, without knowing why this just isn’t IT.
But you’ll learn soon enough.
You’ll inevitably discover firsthand why your system warned you against what you’re now in the midst of enduring, and are currently, often repeatedly, trying to extract yourself from.
And it’s perfect.
It was unavoidable.
And it’s all by your own design.
Because if you were seasoned enough to not do that wonky thing you do (ignoring what you know), you wouldn’t create these experiences for yourself to learn how not to get to the point where you’re at right now.
So you can’t lose regardless of how lost you feel or what you perceive you’ve lost through each ordeal, because each one effectively shows you where you veered off, and one day you just won’t.
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Human: runs from the present / dwells on the non-existent past / fears the illusory future / perpetually resists what IS (and suffers because of it) / consistently holds back truth / avoids making the true move / believes things, others, and life need(s) to be a certain way in order to feel okay / creates and then lives within endless, baseless, utterly insane stories / denies its sovereignty / blames the world and others and pretends to be a victim / takes zero responsibility for the creation and quality of its own experience / looks out instead of in…
Being: “And you wonder why you feel like shit?”
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You only try to fill in the (perceived) gaps for another when you forget that they are sovereign, just like you.
And you can only forget another’s sovereignty when you have forgotten your own (cue a false sense of superiority) which is the only reason you’d ever feel the need to over-reach in the first place.
Your discomfort with where another is choosing to be at (yes, choosing - there are no victims and no one needs saving) generates your over-extension in an attempt to relieve yourself of said discomfort which actually has nothing to do with what the other is or isn’t doing / seeing / getting in that moment.
This is what feeds your desire to change / correct what’s being presented to whatever you deem better / more ‘evolved’ than what they’re currently choosing for themselves,
which inevitably breeds resistance and stagnation; not clarity and movement, because the energy of your so-called help is tainted aka sourced from a false premise to begin with.
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You aren’t a victim of a damn thing.
No one and no thing is more powerful than YOU.
But the human condition(ing) will have you believe that your pain and its many manifestations of it, is/are much bigger than you.
When in fact, you created all of your perceived dysfunction (quite brilliantly, I might add) and therefore have exactly what it takes to use your creation as a tool to actively harness the power you relinquished long ago.
The exact reason you created these perceived challenges and limitations in the first place.
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Her: “But what if their moves affect me?”
Me: “Then you’re allowing yourself to be affected.”
Another’s moves aren’t the reason you feel the way you do.
That would imply that the external is more powerful than you are (it’s not),
and that you didn’t generate this exact feeling and circumstance yourself (you did).
The other’s moves are just what you point to and use, to justify your inability to harness your power.
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The thing about being energetically erect and intact (one’s natural state), and not playing (making moves) unless and until it’s still, is that it perfectly fucks with whatever matter I’m currently holding on to.
The exact shit that’s here to be burned by the fire of ME.
It also perfectly fucks with the shit of whoever I’m playing with.
If there are any strings of attachment (hoping / waiting / needing / trying / expecting / victimizing / or whatever other bullshit that needs to go), I don’t touch it.
Because it’s an energetic turn off.
But if I feel turned on despite and because of the matter, it means that the shit is ready to get fucked up and I’m the bitch to do it.
Ultimately though, I play where it’s clear.
Where I sense no limits, no restrictions, no actual end in sight.
Just a wide open space to dive into unobstructed.
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It’s no one’s job to keep you stable.
It’s your job to contend with your instability.
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Another person’s wack vibe or move doesn’t justify or have anything to do with your own wack vibe or move that you misperceive is ‘because of’ or ‘in response to’ their supposed wackiness.
Your shit is YOUR shit.
Your vibe is YOUR vibe.
Your move is YOUR move.
No matter who or what you think is influencing it.
Deferring to the external or to another is a choice.
Elevating another above yourself is a choice.
Trusting another over yourself is a choice.
Not making your true move right now because of whatever the fuck you think matters more than that, is a choice.
There are no victims here.
You are fully responsible for taking care of your own side of the court.
Always.
And blaming another / using them as your excuse for your decision to abandon yourself, ain’t the vibe.
Owning that you left home and returning to where you belong, IS.
(Although we’re never not HOME; except through misperception)
You don’t even need to take your transgression up with the other (unless that’s the true move) because it was never about the other in the first place.
You did that all on your own.
You were given a perfect opportunity to choose truth, to choose YOU, regardless of who or what was in front of you, and it felt safer / easier / more acceptable / less vomit-inducing not to, so you didn’t.
So what.
Choose again.
That was then and you’re here now.
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“I can’t have the things I want.”
Bullshit.
You’re the one saying no to them every time you say YES to a NO.
#isaidwhatisaid
Every time you say no to what would make your toes curl,
your heart race,
your edges burn with the fire of you.
Every time you do something,
anything,
for any reason other than it being the absolute truth,
you deny yourself,
you deny god itself (same thing).
And then wonder why your life isn’t dripping with YUM.
Everything you want is already at your feet.
If it can’t pass through,
that’s on you.
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The impulse to ‘save’ someone from their own suffering by ‘helping’, ‘fixing’, ‘holding space’ or filling in the gap - actually affirms and prolongs it.
When you see yourself and others as you and they truly are - innately sovereign, self-governing and free - you wouldn’t dream of interrupting and slowing down the necessary burning that’s unfolding as a result of what they (as innately sovereign, self-governing, free beings) have created for themselves.
But that is precisely what you do when you say or do something from the misperception of ‘poor them’, and buy into the delusion that you have what they need or possess something they don’t.
This is also why you, at your very core, don’t want to be ‘saved’ (impossible anyways) when you’re in the shit.
What you actually want is to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.
And you can’t experience that if you still believe in victims and saviours.
There are none.
There is just you and what you choose to do or not do in this and every moment with each and every person as the innately sovereign, self-governing and free being that you are.
Dropping saviour mode is not about being a heartless jerk as you watch another suffer.
It’s about seeing them clearly (powerful as fuck) and seeing what’s happening clearly (illusion running the show) and only doing what you genuinely feel pulled to do from that clean / clear spot of knowing; not from an illusory victim / saviour stance.
Because the only reason you’d ever jump into saviour mode in the first place is because you actually believe in victims and you’re arrogant and delusional enough to believe that you can actually save them.
#isaidwhatisaid
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You don’t actually want to be saved.
You want to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by YOU.
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If the pain runs deep, the power does, too.
Most fear the latter, so they settle on the former.
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forgetting that you’re completely in charge of
and responsible for
yourself
your choices
and every piece of your life
inevitably leads to pain, suffering and feelings of (pick your poison):
powerlessness
victimhood
depression
dread
resignation
boredom
fear
anger
apathy
doubt
worry
anxiety
and even more unsavoury vibes
so you can live in that forgetfulness for life (most do)
or…
choose power
choose freedom
choose truth
choose you
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You can’t ignore, soften, repress or shrink who you are and live an exceptional life.
You can’t shape shift for the world each day and then wonder why you’re depressed, anxious, suicidal, bored or angry.
THAT'S WHY YOU EXPERIENCE THOSE THINGS.
That's your incredibly brilliant system telling you VERY FUCKING CLEARLY that what you think you need to do and who you think you need to be to exist in the world (and with others), is not the answer.
The answer is so fucking simple.
Be YOU. Full out.
Which is the hardest thing
(even if it’s the most natural thing)
for most people to do.
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