Victim Bullshit

The Passive Goodbye (An Essay)

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“I wish things could be different.”

Translation: “I wish I could stay the same and also have you put up with all that entails, but since you’re holding me accountable and I’d need to do the actual work required of me for us to continue, I guess this is the end. But if you change your mind and want to settle for even less in the future, you can always count on me.”

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Beyond Your Identity (An Essay)

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the things you identify with

or (mis)perceive yourself to be

your past

your pain

your story

your race

your age

your body

your gender and orientation

your role as this

your status as that

your (fill in the blank) that matters so much

all of these things

at the deepest level

are not who you actually are

and the more strongly you identify with whatever it is

and get heated and protest for or against it

or heaven forbid

attempt to protect it

(because who would you be without ‘it’, am i right?)

the further you are

from the ultimate truth

hence your need to identify

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The Helliest Hell There Is (An Essay)

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Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

It’s a complete mindfuck.

It ensures you’ll continually be, and quite unsuccessfully, managing the content of the experience that you (often regrettably) said yes to, instead of enjoying the magic that’s delivered on the other side of each very exacting and undeniably brilliant NO.

It ensures that the experience you weren’t ever meant to be part of in the first place (cuz your NO fucking told you so), gets messier, uglier, louder and even more distorted and impossible to ‘resolve’, the longer you stay beyond said NO.

And until you recognize and own your original transgression (as well as each subsequent one), you’ll mistakenly point to the other (and what they are or aren’t being or doing), or to the situation itself (and all the ways it fucking blows) for why you’re so unhappy in the experience that YOU said yes to while knowing it was a NO.

You might even feel and begin to act like a victim of circumstance, and you can undoubtedly rally others to support this false narrative, but you knew from the start and you still chose to go so where is the victim in that?

It’s just easier to defer your power and call it by another name than to own it and tell it like it is.

It’s easier to blame your past for what you’re choosing and experiencing in the present than to do what needs to be done.

It’s easier to say yes ‘for’ or ‘because of’ this or that, rather than to honour that exquisite NO and take the imagined risk that such a bold move brings, without knowing why this just isn’t IT.

But you’ll learn soon enough.

You’ll inevitably discover firsthand why your system warned you against what you’re now in the midst of enduring, and are currently, often repeatedly, trying to extract yourself from.

And it’s perfect.

It was unavoidable.

And it’s all by your own design.

Because if you were seasoned enough to not do that wonky thing you do (ignoring what you know), you wouldn’t create these experiences for yourself to learn how not to get to the point where you’re at right now.

So you can’t lose regardless of how lost you feel or what you perceive you’ve lost through each ordeal, because each one effectively shows you where you veered off, and one day you just won’t.

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Human vs Being (An Essay)

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Human: runs from the present / dwells on the non-existent past / fears the illusory future / perpetually resists what IS (and suffers because of it) / consistently holds back truth / avoids making the true move / believes things, others, and life need(s) to be a certain way in order to feel okay / creates and then lives within endless, baseless, utterly insane stories / denies its sovereignty / blames the world and others and pretends to be a victim / takes zero responsibility for the creation and quality of its own experience / looks out instead of in…

Being: “And you wonder why you feel like shit?”

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Filling In Another's Perceived Gaps (An Essay)

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You only try to fill in the (perceived) gaps for another when you forget that they are sovereign, just like you.

And you can only forget another’s sovereignty when you have forgotten your own (cue a false sense of superiority) which is the only reason you’d ever feel the need to over-reach in the first place.

Your discomfort with where another is choosing to be at (yes, choosing — there are no victims and no one needs saving) generates your over-extension in an attempt to relieve yourself of said discomfort which actually has nothing to do with what the other is or isn’t doing / seeing / getting in that moment.

This is what feeds your desire to change / correct what’s being presented to whatever you deem ‘better’ / more ‘evolved’ than what they’re currently choosing for themselves,

which inevitably breeds resistance and stagnation; not clarity and movement, because the energy of your so-called help is tainted aka sourced from a false premise to begin with.

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Why You Can't Have What You Want (An Essay)

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“I can’t have the things I want.”

On what planet?

You’re the only one saying no to them every time you say YES to a NO.

Every time you say no to what would make your toes curl,

your heart race,

your edges burn

with the fire of you.

Every time you do something,

anything,

for any reason

other than it being the absolute truth,

you deny yourself,

you deny god itself (same thing),

and then wonder why your life isn’t dripping with YUM.

Everything you want is already at your feet.

If it can’t pass through,

that’s on you.

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Victim + Saviour Bullshit (An Essay)

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The impulse to ‘save’ someone from their own suffering by ‘helping’, ‘fixing’, ‘holding space’, or ‘filling in the gap’,

actually affirms and prolongs it.

When you see yourself and others as you and they truly are — innately sovereign, self-governing and free — you wouldn’t dream of interrupting and slowing down the necessary burning that’s unfolding as a result of what they (as innately sovereign, self-governing, free beings) have created for themselves.

But that is precisely what you do when you say or do something from the stance of ‘poor them’, and buy into the delusion that you have what they need or possess something they don’t.

This is also why you, at your very core, don’t want to be saved (impossible anyways) when you’re in the shit.

What you actually want is to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

And so do they, despite appearances.

And you can’t experience that, or activate that in another, if you still believe in victims and saviours.

There are none.

There is just you and what you choose to do or not do in this and every moment with each and every person as the innately sovereign, self-governing and free being that you are.

And…

Dropping saviour-mode is not about being a heartless jerk as you watch another suffer.

It’s about seeing them clearly (powerful as fuck) and seeing what’s happening clearly (illusion running the show) and only doing what you genuinely feel pulled to do from that clean / clear spot of knowing; not from an illusory victim / saviour stance.

Because the only reason you’d ever jump into saviour-mode in the first place is because you actually believe in victims and you’re arrogant and silly enough to believe that you can actually save them.

#isaidwhatisaid

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Did You Forget You're In Charge? (An Essay)

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forgetting that you’re completely in charge of

and responsible for

yourself

your choices

and every piece of your life

inevitably leads to:

pain

suffering

and feelings of (pick your poison):

powerlessness

victimhood

depression

dread

resignation

boredom

fear

anger

apathy

doubt

worry

anxiety

and even more unsavoury vibes

so you can live in that forgetfulness for life (most do)

or…

choose power

choose freedom

choose truth

choose you

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Why You Go Through Hell (An Essay)

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You can’t ignore, soften, repress or shrink who you are and live an exceptional life.

You can’t shape shift for the world each day and then wonder why you’re depressed, anxious, suicidal, bored or angry.

THAT'S WHY YOU EXPERIENCE THOSE THINGS.

That's your incredibly brilliant system telling you VERY FUCKING CLEARLY that what you think you need to do and who you think you need to be to exist in the world (and with others), is not the answer.

The answer is so fucking simple.

Be YOU. Full out.

Which is the hardest thing

(even if it’s the most natural thing)

for most people to do.

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Bypassing Clutter (An Essay)

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Bypassing does exist.

If there’s clutter.

But when there isn’t,

it’s energetically impossible to carry the weight of the past or of a particular experience from one moment to the next.

There’s nothing for it to attach itself to.

No stories to make it mean something.

No addiction to pain and suffering.

No delusion of being a victim.

No need to run and hide.

Clutter simply cannot exist in the void.

There’s no accumulation.

The channel is clean.

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