I haven’t actually counted, but I’m sure I’ve watched thousands of videos on narcissism over the past year and a half.

I find it absolutely fascinating.

Not just the subject itself, but the way it’s viewed and portrayed, and the way that content creators parrot one another, offering the exact same ‘solutions’ and conclusions —

but never actually going beyond the generic ‘victim’ / ‘abuser’ lens.

Dr. Ramani, for example.

The most generic one of all.

She still considers herself a victim.

Still blames her ‘abusers’.

Still has yet to take full responsibility for herself.

Which is perfect for those who only want to go that far.

But there is more in the beyond.

And Professor Sam Vaknin.

The one whom I adore.

The first of so much in the study of narcissism.

So perfectly and beautifully articulating the torturous binds of these hellish dynamics.

But still,

not going beyond.

He shares openly about his intimate partnerships and the ‘role’ he plays within them, accepting his fate as it were, because of his psychological (non) state.

Telling himself and his viewers there is no hope for him or others like him.

And there isn’t, of course.

Until they go beyond.

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Madelain: “There’s always a way back. I agree with you.”

Francesqua: “It's a fascinating paradox that Sam presents. You need a self to go beyond and narcissists don't have one.”

Me: “Yes. And… the beyond is also free of the self. It’s just not a compensation.”

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Read Sam’s gorgeous piece on Narcs and Borderlines

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Peep Mandy Bites on Narcissism

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