Dominance and Submission
“That thing (whatever it was) changed my life.”
No.
Finally submitting to yourself allowed you to experience your true life that was here all along.
You know, the one where your own bullshit isn’t in the way.
You just used that thing to ‘get’ here.
But any thing could have been used.
And…
no thing was actually necessary.
It was,
and it is,
always just you and YOU.
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Most people want the thing (whatever it is) without actually having to submit to themselves.
Moment-by-moment.
Not just once or once in a while.
That’s why they do / try all the things to ‘get’ the thing EXCEPT the only thing that works.
They’ll try everything BUT that.
Well…
that’s not even accurate.
You can’t ‘try’ to submit.
You either do it or you don’t.
And most people don’t because it’s wild as fuck and the noise or the silence is too much to withstand.
They want the comfort of the known while craving the unknown and then curse the gods for what they can’t ‘get’.
And…
Your current and forevermore work is to erect yourself enough to frame every aspect of yourself and your life so that each piece is clean and truly sourced from you.
From truth;
not from compensation.
And most people won’t do that.
Many don’t even care to do that.
But if you’re hungry for the potent purity that is YOU,
the only way to ‘get’ IT,
is to submit.
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Watch the captioned video above or listen to the downloadable link below.
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TRANSCRIPT
Her: “I’m testing the boundaries at the moment. I’m working with another teacher who you know, and just before I made an offer on this MasterClass, I had a session with her, and she had tested me and said, “Okay. Well, what do you feel comfortable offering?” kind of thing, and I felt like I handled it quite well. But I really struggled when it came to yours because there was nobody holding my hand, but I pushed myself with it as well. You were like, “Offer what’s true.” and I sat there with it and then I felt for my edges and I got to this point and I was like, “Oh, my God. I’m gonna do this thing on top of this other thing. I just did that and then I’m gonna do this”. And I was like but this is the only thing that feels right. Like I can’t, I couldn’t offer you anything else. There was nothing else I could give you that would be true. And I was just like okay, this is where I gotta go.”
In his brilliant work (The Untethered Soul, Living Untethered, The Michael Singer Podcast), Michael Singer uses the word ‘surrender’ (a lot) for what is actually full submission (aka ‘going blind’, as he noted so accurately).
But words are just words.
It’s the energy that speaks.
And his energy speaks volumes.
Typically when others speak and write of surrender,
I cringe a little because you can feel the powerlessness in it.
They’re expressing from a passive / hopeful state.
It’s a giving up.
A handing over.
A feeling of defeat.
At times it’s even manipulative.
It’s: ‘I’ll do this so I can get that.”
It’s pretending not to care while caring very much.
It’s pretending to let go while waiting for it to come.
The energy of surrender is powerless.
The energy of submission, however…
is PURE. FUCKING. POWER.
It’s fully engaged.
It’s a deeply felt KNOWing.
It’s actively remaining still.
Even when it seems that nothing is ‘happening’.
Because existing wide awake and never moving IS the happening.
So that is the distinction.
Submission is being erect / intact / discerning.
Which is the opposite of surrender.
It’s actually never surrendering.
It’s never resorting to powerlessness.
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His submission to me,
through his submission to himself,
goes as deep as my own submission.
It cannot be another way.
He’s sourced from my very core.
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The thing about being energetically erect and intact (one’s natural state), and not playing (making moves) unless and until it’s still, is that it perfectly fucks with whatever matter I’m currently holding on to.
The exact shit that’s here to be burned by the fire of ME.
It also perfectly fucks with the shit of whoever I’m playing with.
If there are any strings of attachment (hoping / waiting / needing / trying / expecting / victimizing / or whatever other bullshit that needs to go), I don’t touch it.
But if I feel turned on despite and because of the matter, it means that it’s ready to get fucked with and I’m the bitch to do it.
So I play where it’s most alive.
Where I sense no limits, no restrictions, no actual end in sight.
Just a wide-open space to dive into unobstructed.
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if i ever felt him leave himself
move for me instead of naturally
it would kill the vibe on contact
and the turn on would be gone
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It’s not “How do I?” (lose the weight / make the money / get the partner / whatever the fuck).
It’s listen and obey.
That’s it.
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He reminds me of a Leonard Cohen quote.
“You go your way. I’ll go your way, too.”
He moves with me seamlessly.
Effortlessly.
With nothing in-between.
A dance so quiet, so tender, so natural, so close.
So light.
So pure.
So empty.
So free.
Little is spoken.
Yet everything is said.
“Mine.”
“Yours.”
Here we are.
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It’s the empty vessel I’m after.
Limitless.
Bottomless.
Free of all constraints.
Willing to destroy himself,
so he can meet me here.
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True Dominance and Submission is about the energetic tension that can only come from a deeply powerful state.
And since most can’t generate, hold, or withstand such a thing,
they use force, rules, rituals and tools
to (over) compensate.
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A true Dom doesn’t want a yes from someone who can’t say NO.
They require actual submission from someone who can say NO at any time.
To a true Master, blind obedience is repulsive.
Blind submission on the other hand…
absolutely delicious.
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It’s not like I go around disrupting everyone and everything around me just because there’s bullshit afoot.
I don’t move until I’m moved.
When it would be untrue not to do whatever I’m called to do.
I never plan to fuck shit up.
I never try to fuck shit up.
I just ‘apply pressure’ when it’s required because my being just told me so.
And ‘applying pressure’ can look like anything.
It can look like speaking the truth.
It can look like walking away.
It can look like digging in.
It can look like not intervening.
The moment and the energy and the inner directive determines the move.
Not the person or the thing specifically.
Even when people in my life are going through the shit, I don’t pull a ‘Mandy’ on them just because I can.
Because unless it’s ripe and it’s true,
it does nothing for either of us.
The ‘Mandy’ move only works when the energy is activated; the the tell-tale sign that both of us are ready to play together and fuck shit up — without knowing what’s about to go down.
And until I feel that pull,
I don’t make a move.
And when I do,
KA-BOOM.
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The Dom commands without a word.
The directive is known.
Felt.
Obeyed.
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eroticism
freedom
truth
power
can only be self-sourced
and…
once that’s your baseline
(as it should be — it’s your natural state)
then everything else
including kink
is an extension
and expression
of this
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He and I don’t talk about the energetics.
We live them.
He doesn’t read a word I write.
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If you experience euphoria when and because something happens,
you’re just as susceptible to feeling its opposite in equal measure when and because something else happens.
Because your feelings are based on what happens.
And what happens changes all the time.
Which means your emotional state changes all the time.
So what happens becomes your Master.
And you get a new Master every day.
Maybe even every hour of the day.
But events are not your Master.
People are not your Master.
Feelings are not your Master.
You are the Master of you.
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Diary of a Dominatrix is a beautifully curated and candid collection of over 150 personal pieces devoted to the art and energetics of Dominance and submission.
New pieces are added weekly.
As a Member of this ever-evolving space, you will have full access to my intimate writings where I explore common misconceptions about Dominance and submission, reflect on my experiences with clients (all online) and partners within the D/s scene, answer any of your questions related to my current adventure, share my thoughts on censorship, age-gaps, and other topics that get me juiced, give a sneak peek into what I will and will not do as a Dom, and proudly showcase delicious snippets of sub training and sub devotion.
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This unique collection does NOT contain any images, videos, or overly graphic content.
It’s a perfect introduction to the world of Dominance and submission for those who crave a taste.
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My work has nothing to do with trust.
There is no ‘building’ it, ‘maintaining’ it, or ‘breaking’ it.
It’s all (and only) about the energy.
When it’s pure, we play.
When it’s not, we don’t.
It’s not, and will never be, about trust.
That’s what people who deny their power need to believe is necessary for them to step fully into truth.
But you don’t need to trust another.
You need to trust yourself.
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(Update: The art made on OnlyFans can now be explored through Diary of a Dominatrix)
Welcome to Mandy After Dark.
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Here you will get a behind the scenes glimpse of the art and energetics of Dominance and submission, how I train subs, what it takes to be an effective Master in the D/s world, and so much more.
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