I had an awakening that shattered more of me.
As truth must do.
As it should.
The me that doesn’t ultimately exist.
How else could it have shattered?
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Track: Your Love | You Give Me Fever
Artist: Romare
Original Video: Damien Uthaya
Video Editing: Moi
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Me: “You verbally express it because you can’t energetically hold it.”
Her: “Is this always the case?”
No.
If they’re energetically backed, you can feel the power through whatever words you speak.
But it’s not the words themselves doing the speaking.
It’s the energy behind them.
The words are chosen but they’re not necessary to deliver the message, which is already felt and known with or without the words.
What I’m pointing to is the use of words (like setting boundaries) with no energetic backing — the reason you’re relying on words to deliver the message in the first place.
A message that won’t actually come through because the words are a compensation instead of a vehicle to deliver truth.
And since words can’t override the truth of where you are (or aren’t) and make what’s not true, true…
using words in an attempt to achieve what you’ve yet to earn energetically (and wouldn't need to name had you earned and achieved it already), demonstrates that split.
Get it?
You wouldn’t need to draw a line in the sand with words if the line was energetically there to begin with.
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The best ‘results’ come from dissolving inner resistance (seeing through matter which turns it right back to nothing); not from applying force externally in an attempt to compensate for the accumulation of matter that’s creating said resistance.
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“Death is nothing more than dropping form and remaining formless.”
This is my mom’s set that I came across today while puttering.
When she passed, instead of replacing the battery, I asked the jeweller to remove the hands.
This keepsake is typically with her other things, but today they feel lovely on my wrist.
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You can’t override where you are.
You can’t jump to a place you’ve yet to earn your spot in and simply play pretend.
Well, you can try.
But that lack of integrity is palpable.
That overreaching and energetic incongruence is felt.
And,
it’s completely unnecessary.
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the things you identify with
or (mis)perceive yourself to be
your past
your pain
your story
your race
your age
your body
your gender and orientation
your role as this
your status as that
your (fill in the blank) that matters so much
all of these things
at the deepest level
are not who you actually are
and the more strongly you identify with whatever it is
and get heated and protest for or against it
or heaven forbid
attempt to protect it
(because who would you be without ‘it’, am i right?)
the further you are
from the ultimate truth
hence your need to identify
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Being detached doesn’t equal being unfeeling.
In fact, the less that’s in the way (the less matter aka attachment there is), the more deeply you feel precisely because the moment / experience / person / relationship isn’t being filtered through a dense / matter-filled lens, thereby providing the richest, deepest and most purified dance through each moment of life.
When you can see things and others for what they truly are (pure energy), without the overlay of human distortion / judgement / attachment / need,
and you know viscerally (not just intellectually) that when you truly don’t care about or buy into the illusions that almost everyone holds tight to (which can make you appear cold and heartless to those still mired in non-existent shit),
you’re primed for potency and possess the capacity to experience and feel it ALL.
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Others can point to IT.
Be a demonstration of IT (at best).
But the IT you seek comes from one thing only:
daring to be present enough in your own experience (no matter what it contains) to do the actual work of facing, feeling and seeing right through whatever shit is in the way of your heaven.
Raw-dogging life.
No buffer.
It’s as simple and as hard as that.
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If most coaches kept it real:
“I’ll take you to a place I haven’t even dared to go myself, and I’ll use a bunch of words and embellishments and contrived positioning to convince you that I’ve got whatchu need, and you’ll totally buy it because you can’t yet discern between what I’m saying and how I’m actually living / being, which is precisely why you’re captivated by my bullshit in the first place. Thank you for your payment.”
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In his brilliant work (The Untethered Soul, Living Untethered, The Michael Singer Podcast), Michael Singer uses the word ‘surrender’ (a lot) for what is actually full submission (aka ‘going blind’, as he noted so accurately).
But words are just words.
It’s the energy that speaks.
And his energy speaks volumes.
Typically when others speak and write of surrender,
I cringe a little because you can feel the powerlessness in it.
They’re expressing from a passive / hopeful state.
It’s a giving up.
A handing over.
A feeling of defeat.
At times it’s even manipulative.
It’s: ‘I’ll do this so I can get that.”
It’s pretending not to care while caring very much.
It’s pretending to let go while waiting for it to come.
The energy of surrender is powerless.
The energy of submission, however…
is PURE. FUCKING. POWER.
It’s fully engaged.
It’s a deeply felt KNOWing.
It’s actively remaining still.
Even when it seems that nothing is ‘happening’.
Because existing wide awake and never moving IS the happening.
So that is the distinction.
Submission is being erect / intact / discerning.
Which is the opposite of surrender.
It’s actually never surrendering.
It’s never resorting to powerlessness.
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Consistency in the physical isn’t required when you’re energetically intact.
When you’re in complete integrity with yourself, you create consistency on the only level that matters, and your system (and every extension of it) works more efficiently than you can imagine regardless of how things are or aren’t ‘adding up’ externally.
This doesn’t mean that being in integrity can’t also include consistency in the physical.
You just aren’t reliant on contrived external movements (moves sourced from ulterior motives) to ‘achieve’ your so-called results.
Because here’s a fun fact:
The best ‘results’ come from ‘dissolving’ inner resistance (seeing through matter which turns it right back to nothing); not from applying force externally in an attempt to compensate for the accumulation of matter that’s creating said resistance.
That same inner resistance you’re trying to ‘overcome’ and override by doing all the things, is the only (illusory) thing you actually need to ‘work on’.
The rest takes care of itself.
When you are free of that inner resistance,
free of the need to manage things in the physical,
free of the impulse to ‘make’ things happen,
you’ll naturally move in ways that are beneficial to you.
You’ll instinctively be led to whatever movements (or non-movements — same thing) that will further your mission to be and remain intact, regardless of what you do or don’t do.
This ultimately lands you in the perfect spots ‘out there’ as well, which simply can’t happen when you focus exclusively on what you’re doing externally, without questioning why you feel the need to do those things in the first place.
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When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.
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No amount of movement (or lack of movement) in the physical can override or compensate for the instability in your system.
When you’re energetically spinning, every shot is a miss.
When you’re energetically still, it’s impossible to miss.
Every movement (and lack of movement) will inevitably hit the spot.
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