Wee
“They need to be held accountable.”
Actually, they don’t.
That’s what you think you need.
To make things ‘right’.
To finally be free.
But once you hold yourself accountable,
you won’t demand that of another.
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Peep Mandy Bites on Narcissism
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To blame the ‘narcissist’ for ‘manipulating’ you into ignoring that initial gut feeling and your brilliant inner knowing is absolutely absurd.
Own your choice to ignore yourself to gain something else from them.
This isn’t ‘victim-blaming’.
It’s adult responsibility-taking.
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Exhaustion comes from self-abandonment
(a lack of integrity)
while dealing with other people;
not from dealing with other people.
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Peep Mandy Bites on Self-Abandonment
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Having a traumatic childhood doesn’t absolve you from taking full responsibility for yourself and your life as an adult.
Many of us grew up in hellish environments and circumstances.
And?
So?
How long are you going to use that as an excuse for how you and things are?
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The fire you actually crave
comes from never leaving home.
From working on THIS; not that.
Because THIS is all there is
and that will adjust accordingly.
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You starve it by not feeding it.
Inwardly, that’s what you do.
“The ignored guest quickly leaves.”
So give it no reason to stay.
You can entertain the chaos.
The insanity.
The mind.
Go into the depths of hell.
Then post about your dark night.
Tell others about that ‘necessary’ initiation.
The ‘generational trauma’ that ‘lives in your bones’.
Be commended on your strength for ‘facing the beast’.
(aka enduring yourself at the hands of yourself and calling it by another name)
Sure, you can do that.
But you could also not.
You feed the pain because you get off on it.
When you’re done getting off,
it’s gone.
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“Hey, I ignored myself. Can you do me a solid and correct it on your end?”
What you’re actually saying to someone when you ask or expect them to change.
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She has the time.
Just not for you.
She’s in the mood.
Just not for you.
She’d do it all.
Just not for you.
Because your game is weak.
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People pleasers aren’t any less controlling or manipulative than those who ‘take advantage’ of them.
Both are positioning themselves, and using others, to get their artificial needs met.
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One must abandon themselves in the attempt to ‘fill’ through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.
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if you wouldn’t choose it again today
and again right now
if the slate was clean
(it is)
then there’s a reason
you’re choosing to overstay
and that reason is not truth
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Peep Mandy Bites on Truth
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It doesn’t matter why someone isn’t ready.
Or if they will ever be.
If they can’t walk through that door with you,
that’s all you need to know.
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Him: “When we’re together like this, it feels like anything is possible.”
Me: “Because it is.”
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Peep Mandy Bites on Love
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I chose him precisely because of the density.
The grit.
For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.
I used him to purify myself.
To be stripped even further.
To stay until nothing was left.
From the outside, it looked insane.
And to my human, it felt like hell.
But obliteration was what I was after.
Why else would I have danced right there?
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The experience shows you where you’re deficient.
Not as a person.
But in power.
In self-ownership.
Because that experience ‘had the power’ to move you.
Proof you still have work to do.
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I had an awakening that shattered more of me.
As truth must do.
As it should.
The me that doesn’t ultimately exist.
How else could it have shattered?
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Peep Mandy Bites on Truth
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You can’t override where you are.
You can’t jump to a place you’ve yet to earn your spot in and simply play pretend.
Well, you can try.
But that lack of integrity is palpable.
That overreaching and energetic incongruence is felt.
And,
it’s completely unnecessary.
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If most coaches kept it real:
“I’ll take you to a place I haven’t even dared to go myself, and I’ll use a bunch of words and embellishments and contrived positioning to convince you that I’ve got whatchu need, and you’ll totally buy it because you can’t yet discern between what I’m saying and how I’m actually living / being, which is precisely why you’re captivated by my bullshit in the first place. Thank you for your payment.”
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When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.
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“We haven’t reached our final form.”
And I agreed with him.
But we’ve reached a million ephemeral places.
And I’ve never felt more loved.
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