Lovers

You Don't Need Boundaries (An Essay)

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Standards, boundaries and thresholds are what you create / enforce / adhere to / require when your energy doesn’t speak for itself, when you don’t actually trust yourself, and your choices aren’t sourced from the truth of each moment.

Trying to regulate / control your environment by making sure that others know you’re not available / only available for X, Y, Z, and then monitoring and dealing with any ‘transgressions’,

and being rigid on a particular stance that was conditioned or intellectually chosen in the past (which has no bearing on what’s actually true for you in the present without that contrived overlay),

is an attempt to do in the physical what you’re unable to do in the non-physical.

When your energy is intact, you don’t need to ‘manage’ who or what’s around you.

At all.

(Peep the Mandy Bite)

Built into your complete trust in, and devotion to, yourself and the truth of each moment - is your true standard - which is energetic; not condition-based, and THAT is what’s actually applied to all people and circumstances.

Not with words.

With your energy.

Without even trying because it’s integral to who you are.

From that place, you’re only available for something very specific.

Something you never have to name or explain or even think about.

It just is.

And those who don’t meet that very specific standard in that particular moment, don’t even make it through.

Not because you created a threshold or checked them at the door.

But because there actually IS a threshold.

And those who can’t withstand it,

just turn and walk away.

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It's You Choosing; Not Them (An Essay)

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If I waited for other people to want to go out when I want to go out and to want to do the kinds of things I love to do, I’d never go out and do those things and my life would be boring as fuck.

If I cared what anyone thought about what I post / think / do, I’d never share myself as freely as I do online.

If I believed that after a ‘certain age’ I should or shouldn’t (fill in the blank), I wouldn’t live as I’m meant to live.

So fuck all that made up bullshit.

My life can only ever be lived and experienced by me.

I’m fully in charge of every single moment and part of it.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

Ever.

Same is true for you.

The people in your world can’t live your life or make your decisions and they certainly aren’t the least bit responsible for whatever the fuck you choose and experience.

That’s all on you.

You might use others to justify not living as fully and freely as you’d like,

to surrender to a sedated half-life,

but it’s you choosing that; not them.

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The Mandatory Crucible (An Essay)

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If you sacrifice yourself for another,

it is not love.

If another sacrifices themselves for you,

it is not love.

But sacrificing all that is not you,

all that is not true,

is the mandatory crucible you must perpetually face

if you are to experience the purest and deepest love (un)imaginable,

both within and beyond.

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Go And They'll Follow. Or Not. (An Essay)

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You can’t convince someone to go where you’ve yet to go yourself.

Plus, if you were there already, you’d have no desire to convince another of a thing in the first place.

The only reason you’re trying to convince them to go there is because you’re using them not being there as the perfect excuse / distraction for you to stay exactly where you are.

You’re literally wanting them to do the very thing you’re not even willing to do for yourself instead of you just doing the damn thing already.

If and when you actually do choose to go there (whatever that edge is for you), they’ll either join you there or they won’t.

Illusory problem solved.

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I Could Never (An Essay)

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“Oh, I could never do that.”

'That' being the thing you think others couldn't handle or won't understand.

‘That’ being the thing you actually want to do, but won’t allow yourself to do, so you use the imagined response of said others as the excuse not to do it.

But you can and you must do that thing specifically if you want to ‘break free’ from the make-believe shackles that those supposed others have got you in.

The chains that you so brilliantly created,

and wrapped around yourself.

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If You're Worried About Another (An Essay)

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When you stop focusing on or worrying about others (your fellow innately powerful and sovereign beings), and instead start to focus on cleaning up your shit, there’s a high fucking chance that those others will also begin to clean up their shit as well, without you even saying a word.

Even if your redirection is disruptive or confusing for them at first, if there’s a part of them that’s ready to rock and roll, they will.

Which is why those closest to you (or anyone else in your field) can experience a reduction, if not the complete dissolution, of addiction, depression, disorders, ailments, anxiety, etc (the things you keep worrying about with regards to them), because you being fully in charge of yourself provides the opportunity (energetic framing) for them to land in that same powerful energy inside themselves.

It seems like magic.

But it’s not.

In one’s purest, most natural, energetic state, none of those unsavoury things actually exist.

It’s impossible.

They’re just how one copes with not being in, and applying, one’s power.

When someone has deviated from the truth and natural movements of their being (a complete betrayal to one’s system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract one’s self with self-created ‘issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don’t) had they remained in their power (their natural state) in the first place.

Thus, these ‘issues’ were created and held onto for a reason.

And when that reason dissolves, POOF goes the issue.

That’s how people can ‘cure’ themselves of ABC without years of XYZ.

It’s always and only about the energy.

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This Is Why You Suffer (An Essay)

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When you surrender (hand your power over to something or someone else / settle for less than the absolute truth of you), you create suffering for yourself in some way, shape or form.

You’re not here to hand over even an ounce of yourself.

To any person.

To any thing.

At any time.

You’re not here to say YES to a NO.

To compromise.

To over-reach.

To shrink.

You’re here to be YOU,

intact.

With all the magic that this brings.

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Distorted vs Clean Love (An Essay)

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If neither of you are in your power, it’s not pure, clean love because it’s based on illusion / need / dependency / standards / etc (aka distortions), and not on the truth of each moment / movement which can only be discerned and honoured from said place of power.

It’s a poor facsimile that doesn’t even come close to the level of intimacy experienced by two people who are truly living in integrity and are thereby (distortion/clutter) free to choose truth in every moment, regardless of the other.

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The Stretch of Self-Abandonment (An Essay)

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You can feel when you leave yourself for another.

And when they leave themself for you.

The tainted stretch of self-abandonment is palpable.

It feels sticky and icky and gross and not right.

If the energy was a visual, you’d see how unnatural and misshapen it looks.

How unattractive it is.

And how messy and distorted things become when one chooses not to remain in their power.

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The Ultimatum (An Essay)

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Giving someone an ultimatum (an attempt to control, and get your (perceived) needs met through, another) is a misperception that something external to you must change before you can feel a particular way, or do a particular thing, instead of owning your own power and operating / choosing / speaking from there.

This counterfeit method of getting what you think you want will not get you what you actually want (not even close… or even possible from that place), even if the other person chooses to put you before themselves and surrenders to this energetic manipulation.

What you seek and are reaching for is inside of you.

It has nothing to do with another.

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Clean Love (An Essay)

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doing something

anything

for or with a person

because you feel guilty or pressured

because you feel bad / sorry / pity for them

because you (mis)perceive they need saving

because you believe it’s your job to ‘help’ them

because you can’t withstand their pain

because ‘it’s just what you do when…’

is not pure

it’s not love

it’s an ulterior motive to ‘get’ something from the experience (validation / purpose / worthiness / love / security etc) and to alleviate the tension inside of you

for your own comfort; not theirs

but when you do something

anything

for or with a person

because it is what you truly want to do

knowing that no one needs saving

knowing that you’re not here to ‘help’ through contrived, measured, self-serving, pat-on-the-back receiving, recordable / postable actions and mindless obedience to the status quo…

but through the raw truth of your being and your devotion to the pulse of YOU (and nothing is more ‘helpful’ than that)

knowing that another person’s pain is not bigger than you

or them

and that it’s not a problem to be fixed

at all

knowing that what you do or don’t do in any given moment is perfect

despite appearances

regardless of convention

no matter how another perceives it

simply because it’s what’s true right now…

then it is clean

then it is love

because it doesn’t require you or another to abandon / shrink / dilute / change / over-extend a thing for the ‘other’,

or to maintain the delusion that such a thing is required to show love or to be loved in the first place

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