Human Dynamics

The Chasm Between He And I (An Essay)

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The chasm between he and I is immense.

Always has been.

Except, of course, when it’s not.

The only thing that has and could ever bridge that incredible divide is pure presence.

No self.

Those rare and delicious moments that he’s described as unimaginable, when we are both simultaneously present AND absent.

This or nothing.

AND

This because there’s nothing.

Which is why it’s futile to ‘work on’ the so-called relationship.

The only work is HERE; not there.

#remainempty

Within me; not with him.

(he is not my business)

Which is why I don’t care about bridging our divide.

I care about bridging my own.

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The Powerless Departure (An Essay)

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After getting ‘triggered’ by a clean move of mine that ‘threatened’ (broke) the container we had once been operating within (and our relationship was contingent upon),

I had a close-to-me-for-many-years human attempt to end our relationship.

‘Attempt’ because there’s no such thing as an ending (or a relationship for that matter, but that’s for another day).

And all because they couldn’t figure out how to use me and our experience to erect themselves further.

So they collapsed (and not in the hot way)

once again / for now / forever / who cares.

Which means they didn’t actually ‘leave’.

And they didn’t achieve a thing through a cliché FB de-friending, of all things.

Because there was zero power in their so-called split.

They ‘left’ (collapsed) instead of saying / doing / BEING the truest thing.

The rawest thing.

That would shatter everything.

In both themselves and in me.

But that would have required them to stand firm and fully in who they truly are.

And they were not ready for that, at least not that day.

So they ‘left’ without actually shifting a thing.

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The Divide (An Essay)

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The ‘issues’ between you and another are never the actual issues.

It’s a lack of consciousness.

A lack of accountability.

A lack of integrity.

Ignoring the k(no)w.

And that discord / divide shows up as those ‘issues’ because you are not yet in your power.

You aren’t yet saying or doing what needs to be said or done.

If you were, there’d be no ‘issues’.

There would just be truth.

Which is the only thing that can set you free from those never-ending ‘issues’.

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Two For One (An Essay)

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I had a call with a hottie who I soon realized was nowhere close to being ready for a call with me.

She was committed to her stories.

She didn’t actually want to be free.

So I interrupted her mental masturbation by letting her know this isn’t the work I do, and I ended the Zoom call.

She called me on Messenger a moment later.

And I had no problem picking up because ‘new moment, new everything’ in Mandyland.

I was happy to start again.

But she was still there; not here.

So I ended that call, too.

*sends a cheeky new invoice*

Because that is the work I do.

(Read Part 2)

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Stuck Together (An Essay)

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if the only thing keeping you together is your unnatural attachment to one another

(and all attachment is unnatural)

made possible only through the sticky and accumulated shit you have both brought to the relationship table

things like your respective and shared pasts

your so-called traumas

your personal needs and desires

your ongoing focus on yourself and the other

then you’re not yet truly together

because of all that shit in the way

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Cheating (An Essay)

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Cheating isn’t a ‘mistake’.

It’s a choice.

It’s a decision to hide and to deceive.

Over and over and over again.

And…

It’s a weak and powerless move / series of moves.

Because it’s ‘easier’ to sneak around than to muster the strength to be fully transparent with the one you claim you love and ‘risk’ whatever comes from that.

And of course you have your reasons (excuses) to not live in truth.

Everyone does.

Reasons to not demonstrate love for yourself and another by being honest about what already is.

You’re scared.

You have something to ‘lose’.

You don’t want to hurt them.

Whatever the fuck.

Still weak.

Still powerless.

Still not taking full responsibility for yourself and your choices and doing what needs to be done.

Being with others isn’t an issue.

Hiding that you are, is.

And even that isn’t the real ‘issue’.

(This piece is a response to a lame Netflix documentary)

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The Next Isn't Better (An Essay)

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I’d rather do the work within the current dynamic than to swap it out for another supposedly easier and better ride.

Because the next one won’t be ’better’.

The same work will meet me there, too.

So I do it from exactly where I am.

From whatever I find myself in.

The ‘next’ I actually want and crave,

will arise naturally from that.

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Touché, Bitch (An Essay)

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Talking with a friend in a relationship that’s been the biggest NO forfuckingever…

Her: “But I love his family.”

Me: “More than you love yourself?”

Her: “Touché, bitch.”

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P.S. If you’ve never referred to me as ‘bitch’ (not ‘a bitch’ — although that would still be a compliment), do you even love me?

And if I haven’t called you ‘bitch’ while hyped up in a private convo / message / work call, either celebrating you or calling you out, do I even love you?

Of course.

But it’s still fun to ponder.

Trust No One (An Essay)

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Ultimately,

I don’t trust anybody.

I don’t need to.

I trust my knowing.

I trust myself.

And therefore, every move by proxy.

Which is why…

I don’t require another to be ‘trustworthy’.

I know when truth is present and when it’s not.

Which has nothing to do with the person.

And everything to do with the now.

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The Passive Goodbye (An Essay)

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“I wish things could be different.”

Translation: “I wish I could stay the same and also have you put up with all that entails, but since you’re holding me accountable and I’d need to do the actual work required of me for us to continue, I guess this is the end. But if you change your mind and want to settle for even less in the future, you can always count on me.”

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The Myth Of Detachment (An Essay)

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Being detached doesn’t equal being unfeeling.

In fact, the less that’s in the way (the less matter aka attachment there is), the more deeply you feel precisely because the moment / experience / person / relationship isn’t being filtered through a dense / matter-filled lens, thereby providing the richest, deepest and most purified dance through each moment of life.

When you can see things and others for what they truly are (pure energy), without the overlay of human distortion / judgement / attachment / need,

and you know viscerally (not just intellectually) that when you truly don’t care about or buy into the illusions that almost everyone holds tight to (which can make you appear cold and heartless to those still mired in non-existent shit),

you’re primed for potency and possess the capacity to experience and feel it ALL.

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The Unwritten Tagline (An Essay)

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If most coaches kept it real:

“I’ll take you to a place I haven’t even dared to go myself, and I’ll use a bunch of words and embellishments and contrived positioning to convince you that I’ve got whatchu need, and you’ll totally buy it because you can’t yet discern between what I’m saying and how I’m actually living / being, which is precisely why you’re captivated by my bullshit in the first place. Thank you for your payment.”

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