Essays
when it comes to co-creative energetic magic making
if someone claims they need the ‘results’
the numbers
the past or future whatever
to be quantified before choosing
to work and play with you
they aren’t close to being ready
to work and play with you
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It’s not necessary, possible or even favourable to be completely free of your conditioning / ego / false self / illusions.
It’s your custom-made, blade-sharpening playground.
And…
The deeper you go,
the more creative it gets,
and the more precise you get to be.
Which can be exhilarating.
But only once you’ve cut through the majority of its density.
Until that point, it feels painful, real and incredibly overwhelming.
You only catch occasional slivers of something beyond it before it fades back into chaos as quickly as it came.
And from that vantage point, it’s hard to imagine a life lived primarily from that clarity you only caught a glimpse of.
But it’s possible.
And inevitable.
Of course it can be this good.
This rich.
This deep.
Because ultimately it’s who you actually are underneath and beyond the conditioning that’s been created by, and gifted to, you.
Providing endless portals to places that you could never imagine, but are just an ‘of course’ to YOU.
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It’s not that the paradigms, tools, processes and various healing modalities don’t work.
They absolutely do.
For many people.
Just not all people.
For one leg of the journey, but not the next.
Some have tried it all, dabbled in various mystical playgrounds on their ‘search’ for what and who they already are, and these things still never hit the right spot.
Or if they did, it wasn’t for long.
So naturally, being the seekers of truth and freedom that they are, they continued their search and began exploring what lies beyond the edge of what they once believed was IT.
Most don’t have a pull to do such a thing.
They’ve already found what works great for them.
So that’s exactly what they use and teach.
And some, with incredible results.
But for those who’ve yet to come across their version of IT, it’s a painful realization that the thing they thought was IT, wasn’t actually IT for them…
and that even though IT works amazing for many of the people around them who have already found and landed on that thing that could potentially serve them and their clients for the rest of their lives…
there is infinitely more to be tasted,
for the ones who have yet to hit IT.
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Much of the time it’s me initiating with those I want to work / play with because I just KNOW.
Immediately.
THIS.
RIGHT NOW.
Regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.
If there’s a pull, I act.
If there isn’t, I don’t.
And when others reach out, it’s the same.
I just KNOW.
Immediately.
THIS.
RIGHT NOW.
Or not.
At all.
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Overheard while someone was talking to a friend:
“Yeah and she said that I’m the kind of person the universe will take care of.”
Implying that there is something outside of us that will take care of some, but not all, and that this care is contingent on the type of person one is.
Oh, and that we aren’t responsible for ourselves and our creations.
Something else is.
Nah.
We are the universe itself.
We are god in the flesh.
There is no separation, except in the mind.
We don’t need to hope or wait or pray to be taken care of by another, or by some external, invisible force.
We each have the power right now to choose and to create.
‘Waiting on God’ is waiting on YOU.
Doing something, anything, with the intention, hope and belief that you’ll be seen, favoured and blessed by the gods (or god itself) is denying the power of YOU.
Nothing is outside of YOU.
YOU are all there is.
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forgetting that you’re completely in charge of
and responsible for
yourself
your choices
and every piece of your life
inevitably leads to pain, suffering and feelings of (pick your poison):
powerlessness
victimhood
depression
dread
resignation
boredom
fear
anger
apathy
doubt
worry
anxiety
and even more unsavoury vibes
so you can live in that forgetfulness for life (most do)
or…
choose power
choose freedom
choose truth
choose you
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Today in the inbox of a hottie who’s clearly been feeling my posts and is ready to fucking POP:
Me: “I know YOU are ready. So what are you waiting for?”
Her: “I’m so fucking ready. All of a sudden as if overnight, everything has shifted and I am here.”
Bingo.
I called it.
Because I felt it.
So I made the move.
She then goes on to tell me about all the magic that transpired for her yesterday and last night - including a delicious chunk of money from someone who wanted to express appreciation for work she had done for him years ago.
Me: “HOT. Perfect. Of course. Are you ready to book our call?”
Her: “Yes. Let’s do this.”
Done.
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being in your power
in full integrity
in the truth of who you are
naturally activates
and provides a portal for
those who are ready to do the same
you needn’t
(and mustn’t)
move an inch
not even a millimetre
from the depth
and core
of you
to be the perfectly-timed catalyst
the inevitable co-creator
for the ones who dare to free-fall
into the truth they’ve always known
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when you refuse to deviate from yourself
for anything
for anyone
you live
your life
as a god
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If neither of you are in your power, it’s not pure, clean love because it’s based on illusion / need / dependency / standards / etc (aka distortions), and not on the truth of each moment / movement which can only be discerned and honoured from said place of power.
It’s a poor facsimile that doesn’t even come close to the level of intimacy experienced by two people who are truly living in integrity and are thereby (distortion/clutter) free to choose truth in every moment, regardless of the other.
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You can’t ignore, soften, repress or shrink who you are and live an exceptional life.
You can’t shape shift for the world each day and then wonder why you’re depressed, anxious, suicidal, bored or angry.
THAT'S WHY YOU EXPERIENCE THOSE THINGS.
That's your incredibly brilliant system telling you VERY FUCKING CLEARLY that what you think you need to do and who you think you need to be to exist in the world (and with others), is not the answer.
The answer is so fucking simple.
Be YOU. Full out.
Which is the hardest thing
(even if it’s the most natural thing)
for most people to do.
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you know how a fuck ton of clutter and chaos in your home can just ruin your vibe
how all that excess weighs you down
how all that old shit you’ve been hanging onto and avoiding for days / weeks / months / even years
feels insurmountable
limits your ability to truly enjoy your space and the treasures within it
limits your ability to actually see its true beauty
limits your ability to move freely
limits your ability to BE HERE NOW
because everywhere you turn, shit’s a hot, overwhelming mess
and all that shit takes up a majority of your attention
clouds your vision
and makes it even harder to do what you actually want to do because ALL THAT SHIT IS IN THE WAY
well…
it’s the same with inner clutter and chaos
except an inner mess can be cleaned up in an instant
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if you want to dance in darkness
and be stripped of all you’re not
let’s set fire to the illusions
as we free fall
right back home
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the quality of each experience
is in direct proportion
to your willingness
and your capacity
to ride it to
the very
edge
and get licked
by the beyond
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the MORE that you crave
is not external to you
it is always
and only
just you being YOU
and the YOU
that you were / are / forever will be
is timeless
is formless
extraordinary
and free
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a visual of what life does to you
when
you
STOP
trying
holding
planning
controlling
needing
wishing
hoping
praying
visualizing
and
resisting
what
already
IS
and
all
that’s
here
for
you
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Someone on the sidewalk screaming to no one in particular and everyone all at once:
“I’m fucking angry and I’m ready! I’m going to kill you all!”
Looks at me:
“Not you. You look beautiful. Have a great day.”
#savedbythesparkles
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another person’s attempt to change you
their desire for you to be less self-expressed
less potent
less YOU
is nothing more than an indication
that they deeply crave to be just as self-expressed
(whatever that looks like for them)
but instead of choosing that for themselves
(which they can do at any time)
they try to diminish it in you
(like they’ve been doing to themselves)
to cope with the pain of that perpetual self-denial
that excruciating and ever-present pain
of rejecting
and denying
the fullness of who they are
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You can feel when you leave yourself for another.
And when they leave themself for you.
The tainted stretch of self-abandonment is palpable.
It feels sticky and icky and gross and not right.
If the energy was a visual, you’d see how unnatural and misshapen it looks.
How unattractive it is.
And how messy and distorted things become when one chooses not to remain in their power.
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