The Lost Can't Take You Home (An Essay)

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There is absolutely nothing I say or write

(when it’s sourced from truth)

that you don’t already know and feel in your bones.

That you don’t have full access to already.

(whether you choose to access IT and live from IT is another thing entirely)

Because truth is universal.

Not exclusive to a few.

So nothing I have ever said or will ever say is revolutionary.

It’s nothing new at all.

Even if it feels ‘new’ to you.

Which it why I don’t feel the need to dress it up or cater to the bullshit of your small self (which most people sell to) that prefers the fake glitter of ‘new’ terms / paradigms / whatever the fuck, that promise a ‘new’ level of whatever the fuck, which is ultimately just spinning the same old bullshit from a different angle, delivered by those who still have yet to touch, let alone live from, HOME.

So how could they possibly take YOU there?

They can’t.

And…

You already know when you’re HOME and when you’re ‘lost’.

And when you’re ‘lost’, you search for home externally.

Which is why you can be ‘sold to’ by those who certainly can’t ‘save’ you with their ‘new’ whatever the fuck.

Truth isn’t new and it sure as hell isn’t outside of you.

And you don’t need to pay a dollar to anyone or anything to remind you of that.

There is not one person on the planet that knows more than you do about what you need to do in this moment and in this world.

YOU are the most qualified.

And…

of course you can still pay to play with other phenomenal creatures to fly even higher…

but nothing beyond what you already have and are is required for a damn thing.

Well,

nothing except you recognizing and honouring

all that you already are.

△

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Have You Met Her Yet? (An Essay)

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If you are split inwardly,

if you are conflicted and confused about who you really are,

if you are afraid of your own power,

if you are doubting that you are God,

if you will not listen to and obey your innate brilliance and inner knowing like it’s your full-time and life-time job (it is),

if you cannot withstand the truth of who you actually are (sovereign, free and powerful as fuck) and you are unwilling to step into that fully,

if you are committed to remaining small aka in denial of, and in opposition to, the magnificence that you already are,

how on earth could you tap into what is here for you RIGHT NOW?

You can’t even see it.

Let alone experience it.

And you certainly can’t meet ALL OF IT

when you’re not yet devoted to HER.

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The Fastest Way To Create (An Essay)

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The ‘fastest’ way to ‘create’ is by being what you already are.

BEING.

Not becoming.

How could you ‘become’ what you have always been?

Exactly.

So the degree to which you feel separate from what you know you’re here for,

(which I promise you is all that you already are and already have FULL access to — just like everyone else)

is the degree to which you are ‘keeping’ yourself separate from who you truly are and what you know you’re here for.

But having full access doesn’t mean you’re experiencing the pleasure of all that’s available to you.

Because in order for that to ‘happen’,

to be your ‘real’-life lived experience,

you need to stop keeping yourself separate

from what is actually REAL.

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The Instant Shift (An Essay)

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Yes, it’s true that it does all shift in an instant.

Energetically.

And yes, sometimes it can shift physically —

in an instant.

But for many things, there is a ‘gap’.

A lag-time between the energetic shift and the physical reflection of it.

Not because something is wrong or not working.

But because shit is still moving.

Rearranging.

Lining up.

And that liminal space and appearance of nothing happening ‘out there’,

which doesn’t account for the very necessary yet unseen motion going on in the ethers,

is what creates a ton of movement and noise ‘in here’.

And this is what needs to be faced and seen through and silenced as the external comes into form.

Nothing is ‘wrong’ just because something hasn’t happened — yet.

Or in the way you think it should and on the timeline that you have decided.

Your work is to keep doing your work.

Period.

To make the inner more important than the outer, but of course, still tend to the outer.

To care about becoming and remaining stable internally, instead of defaulting to being moved and disheartened by externals.

Because…

When you see things and yourself as they / you are,

you can ‘handle’ what is or isn’t happening ‘out there’.

But when you can’t see things or yourself with clarity,

you really can’t ‘handle’ a thing.

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Laura: “Man, I always fall into the trap of 'why is nothing changing when I've been paying all this attention to myself internally' and then I realize, that's the trap. Cause I'm still focused out but pretending to be in.”

Me: “What you wrote also implies that you’re focused on the internal to change the external and that’s also not actually IT. Even though on one level, of course. But it’s still connecting A to B instead of just doing A for the sake of being a fucking badass at A and letting B be whatever the fuck it’s gonna be because you’re SO GOOD with that A.”

Laura: “Bingo.”

Redefined Money Math (An Essay)

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“Redefined financial math: Mandy cryptically mentions that “numbers aren’t a part of real money math.” This might imply that she prioritizes intuitive or emotional intelligence in financial decision-making, rather than solely relying on numerical calculations.”

Lemme break down my ‘cryptic’ Mandy Bite that AI was referring to:

“Numbers aren’t a part of real money math.”

First, REAL aka the unseen.

Where everything actually happens.

Not what we end up seeing happening in the so-called ‘real’ world.

That’s secondary.

The ‘result’.

And…

‘A’ does not equal ‘B’ when you play in the unseen.

(Another Mandy Bite from years ago)

Meaning…

nothing needs to add up / make sense / be practical in the physical in order for something to show up / blow your fucking mind in the physical.

Because the REAL work was / is first done inwardly.

And the moves that arise naturally from said inner stance, may look on the surface like they have zero connection to what inevitably shows up in / on the seen / scene…

but they are perfectly orchestrated.

So to reduce your physical experience to what can be measured by numbers or time or by the limited human mind, leaves out a fundamental piece.

The most profound piece.

And yes, the practical does fully support the profound.

But it’s also true that the profound completely overrides the practical.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

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How To Know You've Made It (An Essay)

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peace is the indicator

clarity is the indicator

laughter is the indicator

joy is the indicator

freedom is the indicator

thrill is the indicator

ease is the indicator

simplicity is the indicator

knowing is the indicator

certainty is the indicator

deepening is the indicator

stillness is the indicator

satisfaction is the indicator

potency is the indicator

purity is the indicator

union is the indicator

more is the indicator

less is the indicator

everything is the indicator

nothing is the indicator

and anything in/on the way of/to this

is your moment-to-moment assignment

until everything is clear

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How To Make More Money (An Essay)

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I know that’s what you want.

More money,

more freedom,

more experiences,

more things.

But there’s just one thing in the way.

Yes, just one.

If money’s not moving the way you want it to,

the required shift is fully,

and solely,

in your hands.

No one can do this for you.

No one is coming to save you.

And winning the lottery can’t ‘fix’ this glitch.

And…

even my upcoming group conversation about money can’t override what you’re not willing to do ‘for’ your money.

But if you’re fucking ready to flip the switch,

because you’ve had enough of not nearly ‘enough’…

and/or you’re simply ready for the MORE you’ve always known you’re here for…

THEN. LET’S. FUCKING. GO.

Join me Sunday, June 15th from 11am-1pm EST on Zoom to get to the guts of your current (and/or ongoing) situation.

We will bridge the seeming divide between you and your money.

The ‘solution’ is simple,

and profound.

△

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How To Get It All (An Essay)

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It is your own (perceived) inner division that (seemingly) separates you from what you want and already are.

So the degree to which you are split within,

is the degree to which you perceive lack without.

If you knew and experienced yourself to be God,

(which you are in human form)

there would be no inner division.

You’d be operating from truth.

From ultimate knowing.

And reaping the gold that comes from that state.

You wouldn’t be waiting, hoping, wishing, praying.

You wouldn’t be on a path of ‘healing’ and ‘becoming’.

You’d just be BEING what you already are and have always been.

No split.

So…

the work as a human is to bridge that divide.

To get on board with the God that you are.

And you do this by facing and seeing through every single lie that tells you you’re less than everything.

And convinces you that you’re more than no-thing.

Because it’s both.

And it’s neither.

It is,

and you are,

just an empty moment that houses

all of eternity.

△

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Bothered By Billionaires? (An Essay)

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If you feel some type of way about other people making a lot of money,

or spend any amount of time and energy judging others for how they make or spend it (yes, even those billionaires you love to hate and love to blame for all that’s wrong in our ‘capitalist’ world),

you’re only outing yourself by projecting the lack of freedom and power YOU feel to generate the kind of life and money YOU truly desire in order to move through this world in a way that feels incredible to YOU.

Because if you were already doing that, you wouldn’t waste your time and energy focusing on what other equally free and sovereign beings are choosing to do with what they’ve generated.

And isn’t it a tad insane that you are more bothered by what other people are doing than by the fact that you’re not doing what you know you’re here to do at the level you know you’re capable of?

LIKE WAKE UP.

Your choice to live small, and I’m not talking financially — but that as well if it applies, is why you get so pissed at ‘the rich’ while simultaneously complaining about being / feeling ‘poor’,

when what you ultimately want is your own financial freedom / to feel internally rich, but how can that be available to you when you judge the exact thing you desire?

How about instead of pointing at and judging them,

you sort out that internal conflict

that’s got you all fucked up.

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Don't Delete That Post (An Essay)

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i had a call with a hottie who made an offer online

a TRUE offer

not an offer to ‘get’

just truth being expressed in a moment

and…

this was an absolute edge for her

because she had ‘exposed’ herself by doing so

and when ‘nothing happened’

(impossible)

when her so-called ‘bold’ offer

(bold only to her because of said edge in that moment)

wasn’t responded to right away by her audience

(silly human thinking it knows the when or the how and thinking that something is ‘wrong’ if things don’t ‘happen’ in a specific way on some arbitrary timeline decided by the very small human mind)

she felt insecure and anxious about her offer

(made in a moment of truth, remember — making it the ultimate success regardless of next)

and she wanted to delete her post

(naturally)

but if she was on a call with me of all people

what she actually wanted was to ride her edge even further

so i told her that the only thing she needs to do is be with her (temporary) internal chaos and do what needs to be done until it’s still inside

because the ‘issue’ isn’t the offer or the ‘lack’ of response from her audience

the opportunity is to be bigger than the internal noise and external appearances

to not move while the mind moves and while nothing seems to be moving

to not act in response to the chatter of an unharnessed mind that has no idea what the fuck is actually going on

to be in charge of what’s happening ‘in here’ regardless of externals

(and the mind is an external)

and…

she was ready

she stayed still

she didn’t delete her offer

and…

she made her biggest sale in business so far

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P.S. If she, once still inside, STILL chose to delete her post, that would have been perfect and true; not reactionary and compensatory. And, if she deleted it at the start because of her anxiety, she would not have ‘lost’ a thing because everything is used to refine even further. She could have posted it again the next day (or even an hour later), with or without a tweak, or right after our call from a more stable place. Get it? It’s never about the thing itself. It’s about what you’re doing inside yourself with whatever is or isn’t happening.

Dollars Can't Measure Rich Or Poor (An Essay)

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Being in poverty isn’t about not having money.

Although that can be a natural expression and extension of it.

Just like being truly rich isn’t about having a certain amount of money,

although of course it can include a fuckton of it.

Poverty is just a deviation from what’s natural.

From who you really are.

You can be impoverished in any area.

In many areas beyond just fininacial.

You can have all the money you need and desire,

and still be poor where it counts.

You can move through this world without a dollar to your name,

and still be rich as fuck.

Dollars aren’t the indicator of rich or poor.

Except, of course, when they are.

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Normal Isn't Natural (An Essay)

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It’s not natural to be overweight.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to live in poverty.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be in perpetual pain.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be mentally ill.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be sedentary / immobile.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

It’s not natural to be addicted.

It demonstrates (and further creates) imbalance.

Just because it’s normal and normalized…

Just because we can (and do) adapt to every dysfunction…

Living in a state of perpetual compensation is not a natural way to be.

△

Lily: “It might be not natural but unless you're a fat person this may come out as fatphobic. Because body diversity exists and is not a choice. Not everyone has the privilege to live in a mid-size body.”

Me: “I’m not worried about coming across as fatphobic.”

To add, she admits it’s not natural (the only thing I said about being overweight), but my impersonal / accurate / non-judgemental / matter-of-fact statement won’t pass the vibe check because of my size? Humans are so silly.

▽

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Eat The Poison If You Want To (An Essay)

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You can eat whatever you want without ‘negative’ consequences…

when you exist in truth.

But most people don’t.

Much, if not all, of their life is a compensation.

Therefore, so is their eating.

Eating to soothe.

To control.

To get.

To lose.

To fill what’s empty.

When it’s not even their tummy.

That’s not living in truth.

That’s not being in charge of your food.

It’s the food leading you.

Oh, boy.

It’s your need to compensate that makes you a slave to the external.

In this case, food.

So yes,

theoretically you can eat whatever you want when you live in truth,

without any adverse consequences.

Just like that guru I heard about decades ago who took a hit of acid and was unaffected by it because he was energetically more potent than the chemicals.

He didn’t even go on a trip.

But almost no one exists at such a level where they could consume acid, or whatever the fuck any have their system, and be completely unaffected.

Truth overrides all things, yes.

But again, most people don’t choose, and live from, truth.

They choose from compensation.

And people who choose to live from truth don’t need or desire to consume a specific thing just to prove they can.

“Lemme drink some of this bleach to show you how unaffected I am.”

No.

Truth-living isn’t about self-poisoning.

But if ‘poison’ was consumed,

they wouldn’t notice.

It would neutralize.

Their system would self-correct.

Naturally.

Or at the very least,

they’d take the steps to clean it out.

And return to purity once again.

Or they’d croak.

Who knows.

Circle of life and all that.

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No Offence But You're Insane (An Essay)

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If you’re human, you’re mentally ill.

You don’t need a diagnosis to prove that.

Just look what goes on inside your mind.

If every bit of it was projected onto a screen for you and others to read 24/7,

you’d see that you’re insane.

Not truly.

But mentally.

Disordered.

Not coherent.

And…

coherence is still the baseline.

It’s the undercurrent of all things.

And the noise of the mind is just that.

Noise.

And…

the noise is not who you are.

It’s just what’s going on above the stillness.

And…

the noise itself is not a problem.

Identifying with the noise IS.

Believing the noise is who you are IS.

Being taken on that insane ride to crazytown whenever the noise takes over IS.

And of course, none of it is really a problem at all.

It’s just what IS.

For now.

And…

sanity IS an option.

By seeing that the noise is only noise.

Regardless of what it contains.

And that you are the one who listens.

The peace beneath the noise.

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I Dreamed I Was A Daughter Of The Moon

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I asked him, "What am I?"

He said I was a moth.

I asked him why I couldn't be a butterfly (I had always been a butterfly), but he said he didn't know.

I desperately wanted to make love to him, and I wanted to be made love to.

But he was a human and I was a moth.

A strange and frustrating thing.

So I hovered and fluttered around his neck as he led me up the stairs, and when he felt my winged kisses, he, too, was aroused.

He knew I was trespassing.

I knew he was forbidden.

I wasn't allowed to join him here, and not in this way, to be sure.

But these were not our rules.

They were not of our making.

Least of all, sane.

These rules belonged to the others.

The dim and unaware.

They did not apply to those whose sights transcended their limits.

They did not apply to creatures like he and I.

Our connection was strong.

Tenderly overwhelming.

We were destined to merge.

Our goal: become one.

And being that he was already a part of that world, while secretly being a part of mine, he cared enough to take me where I didn't belong.

He was privy to the path.

They'd never suspect a thing.

They'd only suspect me - the moth - a tender loving thing.

He looked like the others but to them, I was strange.

For being what I was.

For wanting what I want.

For going where they would not dare.

But he understood.

I only wanted to go higher.

I wanted to know more.

And I wanted him in his entirety.

He did not question my intentions.

He knew they were pure.

He did not question our differences because he knew we were the same.

He knew what I was, and what I was, was his.

He knew better than to hinder what he, too, desired for himself.

He conspired to make it happen.

And what mattered most is that he let me love him.

Let me touch him.

Let me follow this wild dream.

And I could not have been more grateful.

After holding back for what felt like an eternity,

with the whole universe pulsating within me,

I had nowhere to go but beyond all I'd ever known.

I desired him with a vengeance.

To devour every bit that I could.

I hungered for our union before reality woke us up.

Small as I was, my presence was known and felt.

My being was needed and craved.

And my touch turned him into mine as I sought to taste the places where he'd feel me the most deeply.

He, the human.

Me, the moth.

We, the illuminated.

△

Originally written and publicly shared in 2016.

And yes, this was an actual dream I had about a fellow at the time.

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