Makin Moves

Doing The Blessed Thing (An Essay)

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you would never…

have to talk about your relationship

have issues in your relationship

have to work on your relationship

#workingonitneverworks

if you were both in complete integrity

and fully in your power already

#relationshipgoalsamiright

you’d just be in your relationship

doing the blessed thing

the most natural thing in the world

#loveiswhoyouare

‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth

you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court

you have been looking to

and waiting on

the other for something that’s not theirs to give

and that accumulation of bullshit creates ‘problems’

as it should and as it must

not because ‘all couples have problems’

but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything’ — have problems

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The Chasm Between He And I (An Essay)

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The chasm between he and I is immense.

Always has been.

Except, of course, when it’s not.

The only thing that has and could ever bridge that incredible divide is pure presence.

No self.

Those rare and delicious moments that he’s described as unimaginable, when we are both simultaneously present AND absent.

This or nothing.

AND

This because there’s nothing.

Which is why it’s futile to ‘work on’ the so-called relationship.

The only work is HERE; not there.

#remainempty

Within me; not with him.

(he is not my business)

Which is why I don’t care about bridging our divide.

I care about bridging my own.

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The Powerless Departure (An Essay)

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After getting ‘triggered’ by a clean move of mine that ‘threatened’ (broke) the container we had once been operating within (and our relationship was contingent upon),

I had a close-to-me-for-many-years human attempt to end our relationship.

‘Attempt’ because there’s no such thing as an ending (or a relationship for that matter, but that’s for another day).

And all because they couldn’t figure out how to use me and our experience to erect themselves further.

So they collapsed (and not in the hot way)

once again / for now / forever / who cares.

Which means they didn’t actually ‘leave’.

And they didn’t achieve a thing through a cliché FB de-friending, of all things.

Because there was zero power in their so-called split.

They ‘left’ (collapsed) instead of saying / doing / BEING the truest thing.

The rawest thing.

That would shatter everything.

In both themselves and in me.

But that would have required them to stand firm and fully in who they truly are.

And they were not ready for that, at least not that day.

So they ‘left’ without actually shifting a thing.

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The Divide (An Essay)

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The ‘issues’ between you and another are never the actual issues.

It’s a lack of consciousness.

A lack of accountability.

A lack of integrity.

Ignoring the k(no)w.

And that discord / divide shows up as those ‘issues’ because you are not yet in your power.

You aren’t yet saying or doing what needs to be said or done.

If you were, there’d be no ‘issues’.

There would just be truth.

Which is the only thing that can set you free from those never-ending ‘issues’.

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Two For One (An Essay)

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I had a call with a hottie who I soon realized was nowhere close to being ready for a call with me.

She was committed to her stories.

She didn’t actually want to be free.

So I interrupted her mental masturbation by letting her know this isn’t the work I do, and I ended the Zoom call.

She called me on Messenger a moment later.

And I had no problem picking up because ‘new moment, new everything’ in Mandyland.

I was happy to start again.

But she was still there; not here.

So I ended that call, too.

*sends a cheeky new invoice*

Because that is the work I do.

(Read Part 2)

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Stuck Together (An Essay)

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if the only thing keeping you together is your unnatural attachment to one another

(and all attachment is unnatural)

made possible only through the sticky and accumulated shit you have both brought to the relationship table

things like your respective and shared pasts

your so-called traumas

your personal needs and desires

your ongoing focus on yourself and the other

then you’re not yet truly together

because of all that shit in the way

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Cheating (An Essay)

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Cheating isn’t a ‘mistake’.

It’s a choice.

It’s a decision to hide and to deceive.

Over and over and over again.

And…

It’s a weak and powerless move / series of moves.

Because it’s ‘easier’ to sneak around than to muster the strength to be fully transparent with the one you claim you love and ‘risk’ whatever comes from that.

And of course you have your reasons (excuses) to not live in truth.

Everyone does.

Reasons to not demonstrate love for yourself and another by being honest about what already is.

You’re scared.

You have something to ‘lose’.

You don’t want to hurt them.

Whatever the fuck.

Still weak.

Still powerless.

Still not taking full responsibility for yourself and your choices and doing what needs to be done.

Being with others isn’t an issue.

Hiding that you are, is.

And even that isn’t the real ‘issue’.

(This piece is a response to a lame Netflix documentary)

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The Next Isn't Better (An Essay)

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I’d rather do the work within the current dynamic than to swap it out for another supposedly easier and better ride.

Because the next one won’t be ’better’.

The same work will meet me there, too.

So I do it from exactly where I am.

From whatever I find myself in.

The ‘next’ I actually want and crave,

will arise naturally from that.

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If You're Looking For A Sign (An Essay)

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You don’t need something outside of yourself to access truth.

No decks, no horoscopes, no numbers.

No ‘signs’ of any kind at all.

You already know what you need to know.

But since you don’t trust that knowing,

you seek confirmation,

validation,

a sense of direction,

from anywhere but HERE.

Acting as if something external wields more power and wisdom than the god that you are.

And even if you do manage to ‘get’ the answer from these placebos,

it’s not because they contained something you didn’t.

The answer was never in those things to begin with.

It was inside of you all along.

You just decided to take the long way around because you weren’t willing to trust what you know.

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Trust No One (An Essay)

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Ultimately,

I don’t trust anybody.

I don’t need to.

I trust my knowing.

I trust myself.

And therefore, every move by proxy.

Which is why…

I don’t require another to be ‘trustworthy’.

I know when truth is present and when it’s not.

Which has nothing to do with the person.

And everything to do with the now.

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Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

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I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there?

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