Essays

The Ultimatum (An Essay)

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Giving someone an ultimatum (an attempt to control, and get your (perceived) needs met through, another) is a misperception that something external to you must change before you can feel a particular way, or do a particular thing, instead of owning your own power and operating / choosing / speaking from there.

This counterfeit method of getting what you think you want will not get you what you actually want (not even close… or even possible from that place), even if the other person chooses to put you before themselves and surrenders to this energetic manipulation.

What you seek and are reaching for is inside of you.

It has nothing to do with another.

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Clean Love (An Essay)

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doing something

anything

for or with a person

because you feel guilty or pressured

because you feel bad / sorry / pity for them

because you (mis)perceive they need saving

because you believe it’s your job to ‘help’ them

because you can’t withstand their pain

because ‘it’s just what you do when…’

is not pure

it’s not love

it’s an ulterior motive to ‘get’ something from the experience (validation / purpose / worthiness / love / security etc) and to alleviate the tension inside of you

for your own comfort; not theirs

but when you do something

anything

for or with a person

because it is what you truly want to do

knowing that no one needs saving

knowing that you’re not here to ‘help’ through contrived, measured, self-serving, pat-on-the-back receiving, recordable / postable actions and mindless obedience to the status quo…

but through the raw truth of your being and your devotion to the pulse of YOU (and nothing is more ‘helpful’ than that)

knowing that another person’s pain is not bigger than you

or them

and that it’s not a problem to be fixed

at all

knowing that what you do or don’t do in any given moment is perfect

despite appearances

regardless of convention

no matter how another perceives it

simply because it’s what’s true right now…

then it is clean

then it is love

because it doesn’t require you or another to abandon / shrink / dilute / change / over-extend a thing for the ‘other’,

or to maintain the delusion that such a thing is required to show love or to be loved in the first place

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Dissatisfaction Comes From This (An Essay)

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Dissatisfaction comes from not playing your game at the level you’re here to play with the people you’re here to play with.

It’s your cue that you’re hanging out on a grid that can’t possibly hit your spot.

Because it’s not meant to.

Shrinking and denying who you are and refusing to go where you’re being led should feel uncomfortable and squishy as fuck because it’s not the natural order and it’s not befitting of you.

You’re meant to feel the frustration and restriction of choosing something that’s not even close to what you’re capable of enjoying and creating right now.

So jump.

And keep jumping.

No need to stay stuck in the mud.

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The Richest Woman in the World (An Essay)

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I consider myself one of the richest women in the world.

And it has nothing to do with money.

True wealth is who you are.

It is the ability to experience yourself and this moment, deeply and fully.

It is to never turn away from that potency of YOU, thereby diminishing it and all the beauty that comes from it.

When you are YOU - that magical, mystical beast of pure power - it all just shows up.

Everything you need, whenever you need it.

And even more than that.

I live a lush, vibrant, opulent life.

The number in my bank account has never played a role in this.

It has never been the source of my pleasure, my joy, my freedom, my fun.

I am the source of everything I experience.

My freedom and pleasure comes from within and is never dependent on another, let alone a number in the world of make believe (money is fun but it’s a social construct just the same).

I draw delicious things to me endlessly.

Experiences I couldn’t even conjur up if I tried.

Things I never had to ‘try’ to get, to ‘manifest’, to orchestrate.

I am simply myself, in my fullness, and life organizes itself around me.

It always has, regardless of my circumstance.

This is why I have never required a lot of money to live comfortably and beautifully.

I always had what money can’t buy.

I always had that which was worth even more.

I still live better than most people I know.

Because I measure the quality and ‘success’ of my life based on my enjoyment of it, and my ability to flow with it, regardless of what happens.

I am at peace.

I am free of suffering.

I have deep, loving relationships.

I laugh and sing and dance so much.

I am relatively free of inner and outer clutter.

I spend my days as I wish.

I do what I love.

I express myself in any way I desire.

I trust myself completely.

I have it all.

Nothing is ever missing.

I’m overflowing at every turn.

I dance with each moment and I only get closer and closer to ME.

And the closer I am to who I am, the richer my life becomes.

Because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

You’re here to enjoy yourself, your life, and to play the day away - free of stress and worry and unnecessary pain.

That decadent life begins with you and only you.

And maybe a call with me.

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The Anger is on You (An Essay)

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The extent of your anger, frustration and resentment towards another, is in direct proportion to the extent you’ve compromised, denied, silenced or abandoned yourself ‘for the sake’ of said person / relationship, which was never required, but chosen, for your perceived benefit (and to your actual detriment); not theirs.

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False Protection (An Essay)

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In a world of people pleasing, ‘courtesy’, and playing pretend, those who are unwilling to be fake are often seen as rude.

Lacking tact.

Heartless, even.

Truth isn’t the culprit here.

It’s the belief that it needs to be repressed to ‘protect’ others from who we really are, and to ‘protect’ ourselves from their response to who that is.

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Who's Your Master? (An Essay)

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If you experience euphoria when and because something happens, you’re just as susceptible to feeling its opposite in equal measure when and because something else happens.

Because your feelings are based on what happens.

And what happens changes all the time.

Which means your emotional state changes all the time.

So what happens becomes your Master.

And you get a new Master every day.

Maybe even every hour of the day.

But the ultimate truth is:

Events are not your Master.

People are not your Master.

Feelings are not your Master.

You are your Master.

If you choose.

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Anything Is Better Than This (An Essay)

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Deliciousness happens when you move towards the tension.

Power.

Ecstasy.

Freedom.

Truth.

Yet most people do everything they can to avoid it.

It’s dangerous.

It’s uncomfortable.

It’s all too much.

Better to stay safe, comfortable and small than to actually leap into the unknown.

Better to complain.

Better to be bored.

Better to stick with what doesn’t work.

At least there are no surprises there.

Better to blame others,

the government,

the past,

the moon,

for all that’s going wrong.

Better to light up than to feel the tension.

Better to pour one than to feel the tension.

Better to binge than to feel the tension.

Better to overwork than to feel the tension.

Better to act powerless than to feel the tension.

Better to avoid that person, that call, that truth.

Better to lie, to hide, to cheat, to stay.

Better to just remain in the illusion that all is okay.

Anything is better than standing in one’s full power,

in the truth of each moment,

in the endless tension that brings.

Anything is better than that.

Until it isn’t.

Then you just stop caring.

All the fucks? Gone.

Making others comfortable? Done.

Caring what they think? As if.

Risking it all? No such thing.

There are no risks.

There's nothing to lose.

There's only truth.

There’s only YOU.

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Bypassing Clutter (An Essay)

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Bypassing does exist.

If there’s clutter.

But when there isn’t, it’s energetically impossible to carry the weight of the past or of a particular experience from one moment to the next.

There’s nothing for it to attach itself to.

No stories to make it mean something.

No addiction to pain and suffering.

No delusion of being a victim.

No need to run and hide.

Clutter simply cannot exist in the void.

There’s no accumulation.

The channel is clean.

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Existing Freely (An Essay)

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I used to think self mastery meant to be void of feeling.

To exist as a robot in the flesh.

But it is to feel even more deeply, even more purely, than ever before.

It is to feel things that most wouldn’t feel under similar circumstances.

Which is why you appear so strange.

Instead of crumbling,

instead of anger,

instead of fear,

you feel calm.

Nothing can hurt you.

Lessen you.

Scare you.

At all.

Because you know that nothing is bigger than you, and therefore, nothing has the power to truly affect you.

Not just because you’re a god in the flesh, but because you can see clearly now, allowing you to pierce each illusion.

And the more self mastered you become, through the perpetual dismissal of, and the seeing through, all that’s false,

the clearer your vision becomes.

The cleaner your channel becomes.

And what remains is pure, potent energy.

Existing freely.

Just like YOU.

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No Requirements (An Essay)

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It doesn’t matter who stays.

It doesn’t matter who goes.

But when you make something or someone matter,

when you turn it or them into a requirement for your well-being - for your anything,

you create a chain from you to that which you’ve made matter so much.

But as you already know,

attachment isn’t love.

Requirement isn’t love.

Need isn’t love.

In fact,

the stronger the attachment to,

requirement from,

or need for

anything or anyone,

the less that love is present.

Pure love just IS.

With or without it,

with or without them,

all there is,

is love.

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Fuck Trust (An Essay)

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My work has nothing to do with trust.

There is no ‘building’ it, ‘maintaining’ it, or ‘breaking’ it.

It’s all (and only) about the energy.

When it’s pure, we play.

When it’s not, we don’t.

It’s not, and will never be, about trust.

That’s what people who deny their power need to believe is necessary for them to step fully into truth.

But you don’t need to trust another.

You need to trust yourself.

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