Essays

Isn't It Funny? (An Essay)

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if circumstances aren’t real

and problems aren’t real

and the past isn’t real

and your story isn’t real

isn’t it funny

that you hire a coach

based on circumstances

you deem as a problem

based on a past

you’re bringing into the present

via the story

you’ve got running through your head

so you can dive further

into your own delusion

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Before You Buy The Program (An Essay)

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If you’re paying a money / relationship / whatever the fuck coach…

whose ‘job’ it is to ‘help’ you

‘clear your blocks’

(you don’t have any)

‘see your worth’

(not a thing)

‘heal’ you-name-it

(never gonna happen)

‘get’ / ‘attract’ / ‘manifest’

(i can’t even)

the money

the relationship

whatever the fuck

using whatever methods / systems / programs / containers

they’ve concocted or replicated…

just notice that they, too,

are starting and operating from a false premise.

They, too,

are buying into

(and benefitting from)

your story

that something is lacking

(the money / the relationship / the self-worth / whatever the fuck)

and they are selling you a ‘solution’ to this perceived lack,

this perceived ‘problem’

or else why would they have ‘created’ a way to ‘fix’ it?

To ‘change’ your ‘reality’ from A to B?

(effectively buying into the same illusion as you - #matchymatchy)

Why else would such a thing be necessary…

if they knew,

and you knew,

that you are innately sovereign and powerful.

And that you don’t need add-ons or a guidebook in being who you are and moving naturally from that,

which ‘gets’ you all the things without needing to rely on a thing.

Why would they be selling a program if they knew and you knew that there’s nothing wrong or missing.

That it’s all right here, right now.

That you have it all.

That you are all of it.

That at best, the ‘tools’ and ‘processes’ and ‘gurus’ are what you use to finally give yourself permission to be what you already are without them.

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The Infinite Investment (An Essay)

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it is impossible to ‘waste’

time

money

energy

your life

—

all of it is an investment

no matter how it’s spent

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Her: “Even if invested with the wrong people?”

Me: “Wrong aka exactly right for where you were when you chose ‘wrong’, or else you would have chosen ‘right’ instead (which you did anyways because there is no ‘wrong’)

Her: “What if I knew it was wrong and still chose the same a few times over like a loop until I got it? Not a waste of time?”

Me: “Right. That training ground is not a waste because it leads you to stop that loop. It doesn’t matter how many times you loop. Eventually, you won’t.”

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The Money Myth (An Essay)

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Join me this Sunday from 11am-1pm EST on Zoom for a gorgeous conversation on the energy of money and true wealth.

This deep dive will explore:

  • what money is (and isn’t)

  • why it comes (and why it doesn’t)

  • what purifies and elevates your experience with money (and what pollutes and dilutes it)

  • what your current money situation is telling you (and what it’s calling you to do like NOW to ‘correct’ it)

  • why you feel insecure about / with money (and what to do with the fear and anxiety you have around it)

  • why you don’t need to ‘earn’ / ‘deserve’ / be ‘worthy’ of money to ‘get’ it (while knowing it’s for you, regardless)

And so much more.

$275 USD

Price increases in 24 hours like last time.

This is just the ‘hop on it now’ price because you already know whether or not this ride is for you.

And…

if you pay within the next 24 hours, you’ll get my digital gem, You Don't Need This Money Book, for 1/2 price (link will be sent once you’ve secured your spot).

See you if I see you!

P.S. If you don’t feel deeply and completely satisfied by the end of Sunday’s ‘Money Myth’ conversation…

and CRYSTAL. FUCKING. CLEAR…

and you don’t have every single question that you could ever want answered about money and your own situation — answered…

I’ll give you your money back right after the call.

And…

I can guarantee you won’t want your money back.

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Breakthroughs Aren't Enough (An Essay)

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Just like you wouldn’t expect one meal to satiate you for a week,

or one shower to keep you clean for a month,

or one workout to keep you fit for life,

or one deep clean of your place to magically make it so that you never need to clean again,

you can’t expect the inner work to take care of itself once-and-for-all just because you had some sort of breakthrough.

It’s a progressive cleaning up.

And you can’t get to the maintenance part until you’ve dealt with all the accumulation.

So yes, it gets ‘easier’ as you chip away at all that you’re not,

but you will never reach a point where you’re done the work and are good-to-go for life.

The work is done for life.

Because there are always more ways and more opportunities to sharpen, to deepen, to expand, to refine.

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About That Coldplay Moment (An Essay)

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Posted by a friend on Facebook:

“You have to wonder why the demise of two families at a Coldplay concert is shared more than the tragedies going on around the world. Such a sad state of the world.”

Her friend chimes in:

“I agree 100%. I also don't find anything funny about it. People's lives have been destroyed by this, and its being treated like a joke?”

My take:

Exposing truth doesn’t destroy families.

It liberates everyone involved.

It was the hiding that was destructive.

Now each person is free to choose.

Also,

everyone laughed because it was comedy gold.

Duh.

It was a moment in time that brought everyone together.

So rare.

Whereas “tragedies going on around the world” are happening 24/7/365.

The comparison is silly.

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People Aren't Here To Understand You (An Essay)

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People aren’t here to understand you.

Nor are you here to be understood.

This doesn’t mean you aren’t, or can’t be, understood.

But it’s not required.

And…

it’s impossible to be fully understood

and seen

by another anyways.

(with one exception)

Slivers?

Absolutely.

The entirety?

Absolutely not.

Not only because most people can’t see straight in the first place,

(their view is skewed by conditioning, filters, judgments, the mind, desires, and other distortions that make it impossible to see themselves, let alone life, the moment or another, purely and accurately, so they have no choice but to view you through the limited lens of themselves)

but also because we are all moving and evolving constellations.

Your loved one may understand this moment’s iteration of you and not the next.

They may be open to you today and closed off to you tomorrow for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

So to base your experience of being / feeling loved on…

being understood by another,

feeling seen by another,

having another human show up in a particular way that hits the spot just right,

on another human at all,

is to put unnecessary weight onto something that isn’t required in the first place.

You don’t need to be understood.

And it’s wonderful when you are.

And…

by the time you don’t actually care about being seen or understood,

and you *are* seen and understood,

it doesn’t impact a thing.

Because it makes no difference at all.

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The Power of Mobility (An Essay)

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Mobility work is the same as inner work.

Doing it automatically shows you where you’re currently deficient / limited / stuck / living with dysfunction.

And you get to come face-to-face with the adaptations you’ve created in order to cope with that imbalance.

Just like chiro / physio / stretching / rolling doesn’t actually address the core issue,

tools to manage your inner experience are no different.

They can provide temporary relief from the results of your on-going neglect and immobility, but it creates a dependency on something external that doesn’t actually ‘fix’ the ‘problem’.

And…

it’s not that there’s anything fundamentally wrong with any of these things.

They may be the perfect things along the way, or in a specific season, as you begin to trust yourself more and eventually wean yourself off of these external bandaids that you lean on for support.

And when they are used not as a compensation,

but as a beautiful addition to an already solid and functioning system,

even better.

But the work is ultimately about no longer taking and settling for shortcuts when you are fully capable of,

and are completely designed for,

true stability and self-reliance.

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The Atmosphere of Money (An Essay)

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money

like every other aspect of your life

is either being used and experienced

as an extension and expression of truth

or as a compensation

this is why it doesn’t matter what the amount is

or even how it’s moving

spending / saving / investing / earning

even the terms themselves don’t matter

because energetically,

there is no dividing line

there’s just the environment in which you’re playing the game of money

(or of anything else)

is it restrictive or is it free-flowing?

is there fear or is there knowing?

how is the overall atmosphere?

that tells you all you need to know

and it tells you more than any money book or guru can

if you are giving out of guilt or obligation or a need to feel good about yourself for said giving

that’s not IT

if you are saving out of a fear of not having enough or because that’s just what you were taught to do

that’s not IT

if you are spending in order to deal with your internal anxiety or to fill that gaping hole inside of yourself

that’s not IT

if you are earning in ways that you are internally and fundamentally opposed to, just for the sake of making money

that’s not IT

if you are trying to earn money in a way that your human wants to, but since it’s not ‘working’, you apply force and effort and self-judgment due to this apparent ‘failure’ (under the assumption that you are right about this thing being the thing that you should make money through)

that’s also not IT

and

as always

whatever is not IT

will always lead to IT

so ALL of it is IT

which means you can never fuck this up

so who fucking cares what wonky shit you have been up to in the game of money up until this point

just keep cleaning it up

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The Narcissist Never Gets Away With It (An Essay)

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the ‘narcissist’

or whatever similar creature

you perceive and experience negatively

and / or feel victimized by

and / or want revenge upon

for all they’ve ‘done’ to ‘you’

(but more accurately, and firstly, and in excess — to themselves)

never ‘gets away with it’

they are living 24-7 in that torturous internal prison that ‘makes’ them do the ‘incomprehensible’

and what you experienced

as horrific as it was

while being caught in that twisted web that you did in fact sign up for

(at the deepest level, of course, to access your own salvation by erecting yourself even further)

was only the echo

the overflow

a tiny portion of

a much larger war going on

you were just a casualty

as it were

a necessary

and impersonal

canvas to bleed upon

which was your ‘job’

(obviously)

to take what was given

at the hands of the sickest

and

being caught in that crossfire

of another’s externalized internal war

while gross and seemingly ‘unforgivable’

(but we don’t need to ‘forgive’ in these parts, remember?)

there is nothing you could do

or orchestrate to have done to them

that would be ‘worse’ than what they are already experiencing

and doing to themselves

ab-so-lute-ly nothing

and how you were affected by their split from who they are

(but even more accurately — by how you split from yourself in order to ‘withstand’ it)

is so inconsequential

not just because they don’t care

but because the level of pain

disconnection

confusion and density

that they habitually operate from

leaves zero room

to consider you

(or anyone else for that matter)

beyond their own

incessant need

to meet their needs

that are never met

because no matter what they do

and no matter how hard they try

they cannot quell

that emptiness

that repeatedly swallows them whole

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Owing 52K In Taxes (An Essay)

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“I was expecting and saving for 20-25k in taxes but certainly didn’t expect that to be doubled. But it didn’t phase me and still doesn’t. There was even something hot about seeing the money go. And though I have had to cool it on the bigger spontaneous purchases, I have not changed anything else about my lifestyle. I still feel wealthy. And love seeing the account growing again.”

The above message I received today is what REAL ‘money freedom’ looks and feels like.

Having ZERO hang ups or illusions about money so that you’re cool no matter what and you know how to ‘make’ whatever the fuck you want.

This hottie owed 52K in taxes this year and she had 56K between two accounts and paid her debt it in full (HOT) and didn’t fucking flinch over how ‘little’ remained (SUPER HOT).

THIS is what MY work is about.

FREEDOM. ON. EVERY. LEVEL.

Because ‘money freedom’ is not about fucking money.

And yes, it includes money.

But it’s not about the accumulation of it.

And yes, you can stack as many dollars as you like.

REAL ‘money freedom’ is about the truth of it.

It’s about seeing through your own bullshit that’s in the way of it moving as freely and as naturally as it’s meant to.

And feeling so certain in your power and ability to generate it,

that even if all that money ‘goes away’ for a hot second,

it’s no biggie because you know how money ACTUALLY works so you never fear ‘losing’ it or not having ‘enough’ of it.

If this is how you want to exist,

(and you already do when you have zero shit in the way)

and how you wanna play with dollars,

(and everything else in your life)  

and true freedom is your North Star,

(not the fucking money)

I’m the bitch you wanna talk to.

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