Lovers

Thrown Off My Game (An Essay)

if it didn’t destroy me

if parts of me weren’t forced to die

repeatedly

and quite potently

through the is-ness of he and i

there’d be no pull for me to stay

- not with him -

but with all that arises

through the mutual destruction that our interactions bring

this alone is what interests me

because i’m interested in what disturbs me

and i’m interested in the art of becoming less disturbed

by what throws me off my game

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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Sharp; Not Soft (An Essay)

I do the opposite of what they say to do

With a man

As a woman

Whatever the fuck that means

I am sharp

Not soft (and I am - very)

I challenge everything

Until there’s nothing

I don’t let anything go

Until it returns back to zero

(an inside job - read more)

And as he’s said…

I’m relentless

Unyielding

Exacting

Demanding

Militant

Trenchant

Mercurial

And yet…

He’s still here

Right here

Closer than most will ever be (his words)

To me

To themselves

To heaven

To another

Precisely because I do the opposite of what they say to do

With a man

As a woman

Whatever the fuck that means

Why would I be less me for anybody

The more me, the better

For everybody

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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Doing The Blessed Thing (An Essay)

you would never…

have to talk about your relationship

have issues in your relationship

have to work on your relationship

#workingonitneverworks

if you were both in complete integrity

and fully in your power already

you’d just be in your relationship

doing the blessed thing

the most natural thing in the world

‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth

you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court

you have been looking to, and waiting on, the other for something that’s absolutely not theirs to give

and that accumulation of bullshit creates problems

as it should

not because ‘all couples have problems’

but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything - have problems’

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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The Chasm Between He And I (An Essay)

The chasm between he and I is immense.

Always has been.

Except, of course, when it’s not.

The only thing that has and could ever bridge that incredible divide is pure presence.

No self.

Those rare and delicious moments that he’s described as unimaginable, when both of us are simultaneously present AND absent.

This or nothing.

AND

This because there’s nothing.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

Which is why it’s futile to ‘work on’ the so-called relationship.

The only work is HERE; not there.

#remainempty

Within me; not with him.

(he is not my business)

I don’t care about bridging our divide.

I care about bridging my own.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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