Lovers

Stay With The One Who Activates You (An Essay)

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You will never create something extraordinary with a partner who doesn’t activate your shit and doesn’t have shit that’s activated by being with you.

You can keep running from that reality with each person if you like, or actually stick with one and do the actual work required of you to face and deal with your shit as it comes up until that shit isn’t there anymore.

That way the dynamic reaches its natural and inevitable ‘end’ if it’s not really or no longer IT; not because you felt the need to throw it away prematurely just because you couldn’t handle yours or another’s shit.

I can assure you that whatever work you’re not willing to do with your current beau, you’re gonna have to do with the next one so getting rid of this one won’t ultimately solve a thing.

All of your shit won’t magically disappear.

And fair if you just want to ride solo for however long and not deal with another while you sort yourself out, or even just enjoy some superficial interactions that are less intense and activating along the way.

But it’s one thing to choose that for yourself because it’s true, and it’s another thing to avoid doing the real work with that choice.

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The Divide (An Essay)

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The (perceived) issues between you and another are never the actual issues.

It’s a lack of consciousness.

A lack of accountability.

A lack of integrity.

It’s ignoring what you know.

And that discord / divide shows up as those ‘issues’ because you are not yet in your power.

You aren’t saying or doing what needs to be said or done.

If you were, there’d be no ‘issues’.

Just truth.

The only thing that can set you free from those never-ending ‘issues’.

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Stuck Together (An Essay)

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if the only thing keeping you together is your unnatural attachment to one another

(and all attachment is unnatural)

made possible only through the sticky and accumulated shit you both have brought to the relationship table

things like your respective and shared pasts

your so-called traumas

your personal needs and desires

your ongoing focus on yourself and the other

then you’re not yet truly together

because of all that shit in the way

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Cheating (An Essay)

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Cheating isn’t a mistake.

It’s a choice.

It’s a decision to hide and to deceive.

And…

It’s a weak and powerless move.

Because it’s ‘easier’ to sneak around than to muster the strength to be fully transparent with the one you claim you love(d) and ‘risk’ whatever comes from that.

And of course you have your reasons (excuses) not to live in truth.

Everyone does.

To not demonstrate your love for yourself and another by being honest about what already is.

You’re scared.

You have something to ‘lose’.

You don’t want to hurt them.

Whatever the fuck.

Still weak.

Still powerless.

Still not taking full responsibility for yourself and your choices and doing what needs to be done.

Being with others isn’t an issue.

Hiding that you are, is.

And even that isn’t the real ‘issue’.

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The Next Isn't Better (An Essay)

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I’d rather do the work within the current dynamic than to swap it out for another (supposedly ‘better’) ride.

The next one won’t be ’better’.

The same work will meet me there, too.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

So I do it from exactly where I am and what I find myself in.

The ‘next’ I actually want and crave, arises directly and naturally from that.

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