People pleasers aren’t any less controlling or manipulative than those who ‘take advantage’ of them.
Both are positioning themselves, and using others, to get their artificial needs met.
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Triggered
People pleasers aren’t any less controlling or manipulative than those who ‘take advantage’ of them.
Both are positioning themselves, and using others, to get their artificial needs met.
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Avoiding ‘toxic’ people isn’t the solution.
(or even possible)
Becoming clean yourself is.
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Why are you mad at them for your choice to betray yourself?
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When you take away the artificial buffer(s), there's a high chance that someone's gonna split.
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Why would you need to forgive?
What happened wasn’t wrong (it just was).
Nor was it about you.
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we are two planets colliding
getting smashed to smithereens
and when the damage is done
there is s p a c e
and in that space
we recalibrate
shocked and startled
once again
neither knowing what’s to come
from the rubble left in our wake
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if it didn’t destroy me
if parts of me weren’t forced to die
repeatedly
and quite potently
through the is-ness of he and i
there’d be no pull for me to stay
- not with him -
but with all that arises
through the mutual destruction that our interactions bring
this alone is what interests me
because i’m interested in what disturbs me
and i’m interested in the art of becoming less disturbed
by what throws me off my game
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If someone is stuck on their bullshit, I swerve.
I want nothing to do with it.
They can figure that out on their own time.
Not mine.
You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with someone who is not ready to let go of their shit.
Because there’s nothing there for me.
And I could care less if they’re ever ready.
I am absolutely not invested in someone else’s freedom.
At all.
They have to want that for themselves enough to do what needs to be done.
Which means letting go of their crutches and excuses and actually standing on their own.
At that point, we play.
Until then, I’m gone.
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you would never…
have to talk about your relationship
have issues in your relationship
have to work on your relationship
#workingonitneverworks
if you were both in complete integrity
and fully in your power already
you’d just be in your relationship
doing the blessed thing
the most natural thing in the world
‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth
you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court
you have been looking to, and waiting on, the other for something that’s absolutely not theirs to give
and that accumulation of bullshit creates problems
as it should
not because ‘all couples have problems’
but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything - have problems’
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You only point at others when you’ve turned against yourself.
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Over the past few months, I’ve had some very close to me humans attempt to ‘end’ our relationship.
(‘Attempt’ because there’s no such thing as an ending)
Because they couldn’t figure out how to use me and our experience to erect themselves further.
So they collapsed (in Sanna speak) right out of my world (once again / for now / forever / who cares).
Except they didn’t actually leave.
And they didn’t achieve a thing.
Because there was zero power in their so-called ‘departure’.
They ‘left’ instead of saying or doing (and being) the truest thing,
the rawest thing,
that would shatter everything,
in themselves and in me.
Because that would require them to stand firm and fully in who they are.
But they were not ready.
So they ‘left’.
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When you’ve actually had enough of it,
you won’t have to try.
It will just be done.
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Cheating isn’t a mistake.
It’s a choice.
It’s a decision to hide and to deceive.
And…
It’s a weak and powerless move.
Because it’s ‘easier’ to sneak around than to muster the strength to be fully transparent with the one you claim you love(d) and ‘risk’ whatever comes from that.
And of course you have your reasons (excuses) not to live in truth.
Everyone does.
To not demonstrate your love for yourself and another by being honest about what already is.
You’re scared.
You have something to ‘lose’.
You don’t want to hurt them.
Whatever the fuck.
Still weak.
Still powerless.
Still not taking full responsibility for yourself and your choices and doing what needs to be done.
Being with others isn’t an issue.
Hiding that you are, is.
And even that isn’t the real ‘issue’.
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