I love steak, extra sour apple martinis, dancing, old school, R&B, hiphop, technology, and anyone who rocks. I especially love the sun, skunks and V8. I have a fabulous bestie, a kickass kid, a beautiful home and more zest for life than anyone I know. I love my life and everything in it, but that wasn’t always the case.
I grew up in a family that included alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual abuse, mental health issues and more. I was hospitalized for depression at 17. I had an unplanned pregnancy at 18. My mother died of brain cancer when she was only 56, and I have been living under the poverty line for almost 2 decades. Each of these events have shaped who I am today. For the better. I wouldn’t change a thing.
My daughter’s arrival in 1995 completely altered the trajectory of my life. It inspired me to look within and make the difficult but necessary changes to ensure that she would not go through what I did growing up. After witnessing and experiencing so much dysfunction as a child, I was ready to begin my journey towards wholeness and alignment, if only for my daughter’s sake. So while my peers went to parties and did what most teenagers do, I left my family, raised a child on my own, and sought to transmute my pain from the past into something beautiful that would one day inspire others to do the same.
Despite not wanting or feeling ready to be a mother, I turned out to be a great one. Paige is now 17 and I have more than succeeded in my goal of raising a child who feels loved, secure, safe and supported. Paige is all I could never be growing up. I am both proud and envious of this. She is my daily reminder of why I sacrificed so much, and she has been one of my greatest teachers along the way; wise soul that she is. She’s also an incredible photographer. Check out her work here.
She was conscious that the things she did, were the things she had always wanted to do.
~Zelda Fitzgerald
In 2009, I was fortunate enough to heal the difficult relationship I had with my own mother just days before she died (you can read about it here). I spent her final week by her side, sleeping on the hospital floor and caring for the woman whose presence in my life had infused much anger, frustration and hurt over the years. One of the last things she did was apologize to me for not protecting me as a child. She also commended me for breaking the cycle. It was a full circle moment for me that validated all the work I had done. Breaking the generational cycle of dysfunction and thereby raising a healthy, balanced child with self-worth, is by far one of the greatest achievements of my life.