“I really need to establish myself inside of myself and create such a solid sense of stability so that I am not rocked by interacting with you.”
Said by a brilliant love of mine who knows what the fuck is up and takes responsibility for the work only they can do.
Over the years, this gem and I have rarely seen eye to eye on all manner of topics, and the only difference between us is that I don’t have a problem with that — and one day they won’t either.
I don’t need sameness.
I have space for all of it.
I don’t care that we do not look at life / the world / ourselves / one another / money / politics / the past / you name it…
through the same lens.
I don’t need them to agree with me.
And I don’t need to change their mind.
Not sharing the same perspective with someone is never a problem —
Except to the one who needs sameness / compliance / control / validation / to be right.
And / or the one who needs to offload pain and uses their ‘triggers’ as the excuse to do this.
All of which is a compensation.
It’s not who someone is.
It’s just how someone copes when their human feels threatened / insecure / fearful / small.
When they’re trying to feel okay.
When the feeling / moment / experience feels much bigger than them.
(Welcome to life as a human)
So in the moments when another gets ‘triggered’,
I get it.
I’ve been there and I’ll be there again, too.
So what?
I’ve learned that no matter how messy it gets, most people are just doing their best to navigate the intensity and density of whatever they were born into / raised within / living within, and have yet to make sense of and sort through.
Things they may not even have the words for, let alone the skill set or readiness or level of awareness required to address it in a more constructive way.
But they’ll learn in their own perfect time and in ways that you may never see or understand.
And…
When it comes to the ones I love, all of their iterations and experiments and choices are welcome.
If it stretches me, good.
If it fucks me up for a bit, great.
I’ll clean what needs cleaning to remain fresh, present, HERE.
So I can keep meeting my loves in truth,
whenever I am called.
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