No one is everyone's cup of tea.
For the number of people who love my candid ways, there are plenty who don't.
Those who describe me as rude (even my own kid - and she's not wrong) when I don't censor myself like those around me do.
I lack tact much of the time. I'm like a child. I say what I think and point out what I see before taking a moment to ask myself if it's appropriate or guessing how it might be received.
I lose friendships because of this quality.
I offend certain others because of this quality.
Because I have yet to master the art of pretending and catering to others or thinking before I speak.
I'm too busy being myself to measure my words or responses, and it's only when another chooses to pull away or get angry that I realize I said something I "should" not have.
I don't think my way is the right way. It causes problems. But my way is my way. This is who I am. And for every "rude" (aka honest but unwelcome) thing I say, I speak at least 100 loving and kind things, if not more.
I'm not just one way. None of us are.
And I'm grateful for my closest friends who have never pulled away from me despite my honesty. Those who love me for it. Those who feel more secure in our relationship because of it. Those who appreciate having a friend they don't have to try to figure out because it's all out on the table. Those who enjoy having a friend they can be fully themselves with. Those who like when someone says what the rest of us are all thinking.
Those who celebrate knowing and loving someone who is fully herself because it's refreshing.
I might lose a few friends every year for being me, but I also deepen certain other relationships each year for the same reason.
And for me, as long as I have the respect of my daughter despite my crass and thoughtless moments, I know I'm doing ok. Her opinion of me is the only one that really matters apart from my own.
So far, so good.
With love, a potty mouth, and zero desire to be more or less of anything because who I am as I am is just fine with me,
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