My goal in life is to live my truth and to seek and deliver the fullest expression of my natural gifts. Oh, and to get paid for it in the process.
I'm still working on that second part. Well, more like I'm declaring the second part and am bringing that goal to the forefront after years of keeping it on the side as a "wouldn't that be nice" idea for the future. I want to make it a reality, like now. Not sure how, mind you. But if others can do it and have done it, I can, too.
Money has never been a strong motivator in my life - I valued creative expression and time freedom over most things, including money - but I've since wised up. I know that money and creative expression can go hand-in-hand if done right, and I intend to find the best way for me to do that. Ideally through my self-expression because I know that's where my genius lies.
We all have an area of genius. Something that takes no effort on our part and something we most often take for granted. What's yours? What do people commend and thank you for? People thank me for my words. For inspiring them through them. For shedding light on difficult issues and for putting words to their painful experiences.
Yet I never aspired to be a writer or to inspire (I wanted to dance in videos). I have always been a writer and I have no idea where the inspiration comes from but it has always been a part of who I am. I couldn't stop writing or inspiring if I tried. Self-expression is how I breathe and understand myself and my world and I would be lost without it. And it just so happens that by sharing my personal process through hell and back, be it through writing or talking, I am able to have a positive affect on those who read or hear it. A beautiful union and a win-win for me and my readers.
And as of late, my mission is to find the best way for me to make a living through this thing that has helped me (and others) to heal over the years. I want to increase my circle of influence. I want to deliver more stories and books to the world. I want my already abundant life to include financial abundance as well, specifically through my gift of self-expression. I want to find my sacred spot beyond my blog, to inspire more healing across the world, and to one day be pimpin' out collections of writings instead of delicious doses of legal crack.
Since I can't seem to keep my thoughts and discoveries to myself, I may as well get paid for what I'm already doing. Not just get paid, but get paid well. Exceptionally well. I want the same for you.
I feel ready to meet the beings that have the pieces I require to help me complete my artistic puzzle. Those who can help me bridge my creativity and my desire to be self-sufficient from it. Because let's face it. If I already knew how to do that, I would have already done it. So it's time to try something new. I'm ready for the next step.
This week I sent out 4 query letters to 4 literary agencies. That's where I'm starting. Maybe it's not an agent I need but until I come up with a better idea, this is the direction I'm going. Ideally I want one magnificent hottie (agent or not) who shares my ultimate and ongoing vision and has the skills, talents and connections that I don't possess. Someone who can happily and effectively take care of the pieces where I am the weakest. I already know what I'm good at. I do the things I'm good at. I need someone who is good at the other things so that together we can make an unstoppable team. Double the magic to git'r done.
As an entrepreneur, I have sought to make money from things that are indeed wonderful, but have never quite hit the spot in terms of soul satisfaction, which is what I most want. The closest would have been GODS & DIVAS. That filled me right up to the brim. Maybe not the business aspect because I don't particularly love running a business - I just love having the freedom from working for another - but the deep connections and incredible revelations in each class touched my heart like nothing else. The business itself was small though. And not scalable at the time unless I wanted to fundamentally change the set up, which I didn't.
With Too Good Triangles, it just happened organically. It wasn't something I sought to do. It was something that others asked for after trying my homemade treats and I thought, why not? Seems fun. And much of it has been fun. Not the injury, of course. And the actual running of the business isn't my idea of a good time either but it's better than not having a business at all so I do what needs to be done. Not surprisingly, my favourite part of TGT is the one-on-one connection with my customers and the great conversations that often transpire and the sweet friendships that form as a result. I'm always after, and am excited by, the heart connections. That's what makes it all worth it for me. I bake so that I can connect with hearts and to also to pay the bills, but I write because I have to.
The luxury of being free to say exactly what I think and feel - and have that connect with the hearts of others - is my ultimate form of heaven. That's already the best thing in the world and it has meant so much to me over the years. Second best thing would be making a living from it. So dreamy! This is why I'm going to do everything I can to make that happen. I'm bringing this goal to the forefront now. No more 'on the side' shenanigans. Top spot. Chip chop!
When I express truthfully, I feel free. I feel happy. And I am my best self. It takes no effort for me to pour my soul out into the world. NAY! It would take effort for me NOT to. I cannot be silent. I cannot hold in the sentences that are constantly bubbling to the surface, and I cannot move forward in any area of my life until I've relieved the creative pressure that builds up inside of me right before a writing. When it peaks, it's time to get my ass in front of my computer and do what I'm being energetically told to do.
I don't use my thinker to write. I use my hands to deliver what's already being written. I'm sure that's true of many creatives. We're simply the messenger of whatever light chooses to shine through us in any given moment, and it's our job is to show up and deliver what's being offered. It's our job to paint the picture that's already complete in the other realm, it's our job to replicate the sounds that only we hear, and it's our job to move our bodies in rhythm with a beat that's already fully formed elsewhere (and in here).
As artists, it's also our responsibility to display a snapshot of the heaven or hell that occupies our soul in whatever medium suits us best, because we owe that to the world. Our experience is valid and worthy and it creates a resonance with those who are searching for it, so we cannot be selfish with these gifts. Our soul needs it just as much as theirs do, and if we are lucky enough to be in touch with our ultimate calling, we damn well better do something about it!
So this is me doing something about it. Not that I haven't done oodles of things with my passions already - because I have - but this is me saying it out loud to myself, and to you, that I intend to find a way to bring my gift of self-expression to a much wider audience, to get the help and support I need in order to package and sell this thing that I can't help but do, and to steadily work towards making a living from the writings of my heart.
It has always been enough to be free to be me. Now I want to get paid for that. Don't we all deserve to be paid for being exactly who we are?
My answer is yes.
All my love,
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