In the early mornings I sit in front of a mirror and have a beautiful conversation with myself. One that makes me feel seen, loved and supported by the one I'm spending every moment of my entire life with: me.
I offer compliments and praise and I thank myself for all I've done to make my life a joy to live.
I declare all my dreams and desires and then affirm that they are all possible and inevitable, and I end this conversation with a happy dance!
After too many years of self-hate, I learned to replace those thoughts with ones of self-love. It is an active and intentional daily practice because my goal is to have it be my default.
I'm not there yet but I'm far from when self-hate was the only thing I knew. Far from when I began to question its validity. Far from when it felt like a lie whenever I claimed something good about myself.
Now I know the awful things I used to believe about myself were not true. They were simply what I learned growing up so I've made it my priority to unlearn them and replace them with their opposite.
This has not been easy and it's taken many years and those awful thoughts still come up and knock me down, but not for good and not for days or weeks or years.
Usually within the day or a few hours I can reroute those thoughts and get back to the business of supporting myself.
If you habitually think shitty thoughts about yourself, with enough time and practice you can habitually think lovely thoughts. It's not impossible. Things can be different.
They really are just thoughts and thoughts can be changed. If you can believe so deeply that you suck and you're unworthy, you can also believe so deeply that you're wonderful and worthy of all you desire.
It's a matter of focus. What aspects of yourself do you focus on? Does it feel good? Does it add to your day and your life? Does it expand and elevate you? Does it make you feel like you can accomplish anything you put your mind to? If not, why not try a new thought on for size?
My goal is to thoroughly enjoy my lifetime with myself. I want to be my biggest fan and supporter. I aspire to accept every bit of me. I strive to have each thought be deliberately chosen because there is great power in cultivating your inner landscape.
Your mind has the ability to cause you tremendous pain. We think it's the situations or people in our life that do this, but they have no power on how you react to them. You have ALL the power in your life. Are you using it?
When you become the steward of your own mind, you wield the greatest power possible. You realize you really can choose joy or pain. You can choose happiness or despair. You can choose ignorance or awareness. You can choose to be powerful or choose to act powerless.
What do you choose?
I choose to master the lifetime art of self-love, self-compassion, self-acceptance and self-care.
I choose to feel good more often than I don't.
And I choose to start each day practising how to be my own best friend because in the end, I only have myself. And I want that to be the bestest experience ever.
(Art by John David Harris)
P.P.S. If an erotic, poetic, insightful and vulnerable real-life fairytale is your kinda thing, I invite you to explore my soul's offering, The Poet & The Butterfly Collection.
"This is so inspiring! I know I have the same problem and I'm trying to stop being negative when it comes to myself. It's a hard habit to break it's so easy to pick out my faults and say I'm not pretty or smart enough to be love or like by others. But this post has inspired me to try and give myself a pep talk in the morning and only look at the positive. Thanks so much for sharing!! I just love all your posts! (especially the ones with cats)" Ronny Wilson
"Thank you so much for your beautiful heart. You are a an amazing example. I appreciate how you live your life. You are a song and a poem. Your heart helps heal my heart." Michelle Ruthven
"It was beautifully done. With great passion, clarity, wrenching honesty and nary a wasted word. I have dear friends who are dancing on the edge of forever. I am posting this in the hope it gives them pause for thought." BJ Del Conte