Paige introduced me to Introvert Doodles the other day and they are awesome and affirming and I want my fellow introverts to check them out.
Because of how social I am on Facebook and how often I go out to play, I don't appear to be an introvert but I require (and take) plenty of alone time to be able to do that. I'm also super selective about who I spend my time with and how I spend my time.
If I'm spending any amount of time with you, it means I feel safe and comfortable. I love my own company so much that if I'm leaving my bubble to be with you, it's usually because being with you feels just as nice as just being with me.
I charge up on my own energy before I can give or share it with others, and I always need recovery time after being with people, no matter how awesome they are.
So if I look like a big ball of fun online (especially on my personal Facebook page), it's honestly because the conditions are right. I've had enough alone time prior, I'm with the right people, and I'm doing something that feels good to me.
Take any of those factors away and I'm not a pleasure to be with at all. My friends know that side of me, too. When I'm maxed out energetically and want to throat punch everyone. When I feel stuck somewhere that's not home and just need solitude, silence and kitties because I can't handle even one more minute being outside of my bubble and dealing with humans. When my boundaries are crossed or ignored after I've expressed what they are. THE WORST.
Almost every time I choose to go out or to spend time with another, it's a calculated decision because my goal is to feel inwardly comfortable. I think other introverts feel the same. We measure the levels of energy we will gain or lose by doing something or being with someone and those levels are dependent on our energy levels at the time of deciding.
That's why it's so hard to agree to events ahead of time. Because we don't know how we will feel when the time comes. We might feel social when we first say yes, and then be in desperate need of our bubble when the time comes. We can't possibly know ahead of time.
Of course there are exceptions. If my energy is especially high, then I'm way more open to trying new things or meeting new people without much resistance. And sometimes my heart and intuition just says a big, fat yes and I go for it.
I feel grateful that Paige and Melanie are built the same as I am. None of us require much, if any, time together to feel super close and connected. That's why when people ask me if I miss Paige, I can honestly say no. She and I both love living on our own so much. It's fucking heaven! And we also love connecting by phone on the regular. That's plenty for us. Not all relationships are sustained by time together in person. To each her own.
Lotsa love from my wonderful bubble after a perfect weekend with humans,
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