I don't care how I'm remembered. I care how I'm known. And if I'm known for living deeply, richly, authentically and well, then I know I'm right on track.
I don't care what strangers, acquaintances, or so called friends think or speak of me. I care that my few closest loves feel supported, appreciated, understood and safe sharing their heart and soul with me.
I don't care if you don't understand me. I care that I understand myself.
I don't care if you expected something different than what I offered you. I care that those who love me have never expected anything from me beyond being myself fully.
I don't care if you see me as unkind. I care about being kind to myself, even if that means no longer being kind to you.
I don't care that we're no longer friends or lovers or on the same page at all. I care that we're both exactly where we need to be.
I don't care what you're doing with your life. I care that you're ok inside while you're doing it.
I don't care about dying. I can't wait to be free of this world. But while I'm here, I care about being true to myself and sharing whatever light is passing through me each day.
I don't care about the pressure that social media and our modern world puts on us to respond to every personal message, call or text just because they're coming in. It's not healthy to be so accessible. I care about engaging fully (and publicly) with everyone who joins me for a dialogue (on Facebook) while my energy is high, and giving my full presence to those who happen to cross my path in real life, and that's as far as I go. My teeny tiny circle gets my one on one attention. The rest of the world does not. And that's that.
Doing my soul's work will always trump meeting someone else's expectations of me so if you're expecting more from me on social media beyond me sharing my heart and soul when I'm called to, well then you're expecting way too much. You'll need to find another who is willing to meet your needs above their own.
Edit: The last paragraph is not directed at anyone in particular. It's an overall experience I've had for many years now - especially on Facebook, with people who feel connected to me through my writing and openness online - and also feel entitled to my personal time and energy beyond my public posts. I used to feel very guilty for not giving them more of myself. Thankfully, I don't struggle with that anymore. I'm all about protecting my sacred time, space and energy like a boss. Even if that means ignoring 99% of what comes at me privately.
My life. My rules.
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P.P.S. Photo taken at Shade's Mills by yours truly on a glorious summer day in November.
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