Yesterday a guy on my Facebook list commented on an update and said that he didn't like my mood lately, that all that matters is that I'm moving in with the one I love the most, that if I'm reacting to the move, I should just change that so that I can get back to the inspiring and positive Mandy everyone is used to.
I responded. He removed his comment and himself from my list.
What's interesting here is that after years of being candid through all my ups and downs, someone on my list felt it was their duty to offer a response like his.
Like I haven't been doing this EXACT thing since I got my Facebook account. Like I haven't moved through every single thing I've faced as a result. Like all of a sudden I would care what someone thought about how I feel and shift myself according to their preferences.
I haven't gotten this far in life by muting my feelings or offering only the cheery ones or waiting for an ok from others to be myself. To be highly in tune with how I feel. To say the things I want to say.
I don't cater my posts or censor myself for the comfort of others. I don't pick and choose what to post.
I don't aim to be inspiring. I aim to be fully myself. I assumed that was known and accepted.
I express what's true for me in the moment. I've never been any different.
I didn't know anyone on my list expected inspiration 24/7. I didn't know people didn't make the connection between actively going through the mud and making it to the parts the shine. The one infuses the other. Both are valuable to me.
His comment doesn't matter, ultimately. I've never even met the guy and could care less that he didn't like my mood lately.
But it made me think of those type of people who feel entitled to tell you how to feel or not feel or how you should respond to your own life.
What is that about?
I don't owe anyone any particular version of myself on any given day.
I owe myself the gift and the luxury of paying attention to what's going on inside and around me, and doing what I need to do to express, honour and transmute it.
And that's plenty.
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