Today I met a dragonfly friend. He hung out on my blanket, my right knee, my left knee and my bike. And he let me take as many photos as I wanted! It was awesome.
As my GODS & DIVAS know, Native spirituality is very close to my heart. I believe that all creatures carry wisdom - a special message for each of us should we choose to pay attention and listen. There is so much written on the subject and I encourage anyone who's interested to take a look online.
Back when I was teaching, the butterfly was our DIVA symbol because it represents growth, transformation and higher states of awareness. But since I haven't mingled with a dragonfly before, I decided to look up its symbolism today. Here is some of what I found, which really isn't too much different than the butterfly:
"When this spirit animal shows up in your life you may be called to transform and evolve. Symbol of metamorphosis and transformation, it inspires those who have it as a totem to bring about the changes needed in their lives in order to go to reach their full potential. When this spirit animal shows up in your life, it’s an indication that it’s time for change. Just like the dragonfly changes colors as it matures, you may be called to live and experience yourself differently. Stay open to the enfoldment of your personal journey." www.spiritanimal.info
I like this very much. Being that I am in the process of finding and preparing for my next home and I'm 99.9% certain I'll be leaving my beloved city of 30 years in the near future, this little fella with wings really spoke to me today. I feel like he was a gentle reminder that I'm moving in the right direction and a significant change is what's required on the next part of my journey.
I do believe the unfolding of my full potential requires me to leave what I've known and loved for so long because something greater awaits. Something that cannot be acquired here because I've grown as much as I can where I am.
Just over a month ago I dreaded the thought of leaving my home or my city. I was terrified at the thought of it. I was also anxious about Paige moving so far from me. I worried my heart would break. But it didn't. And nothing much changed except for the fact that I got really clear that just like Paige, I'm ready to move on in a new way. And over the span of a few weeks I realized that I'm not as attached to my home or my city as I once was. That's a good sign. I'm not attached to anything here really and would love an opportunity to start fresh somewhere brand new to me, and see what unfolds from there.
There is so much I want to leave behind me, for good. And so much gratitude for every single thing that has brought me to this point.
But mostly, there's trust. Not every day. But most days. Lately I float between anxiety and peace. Holding on and letting go. Trusting and panicking. Overthinking and passing out from mental exhaustion. Envisioning the BIG dream and then succumbing to the old. Round and round we go.
But still I move forward.
Another Mandy is preparing to rise and like just the caterpillar, she is struggling bit by bit to leave the cocoon she knows so well because there really isn't another option at this point. I cannot be content where I was or where I am because it has all run its course. My sights have been set elsewhere since the day after Paige moved to Montreal, which makes leaving where I am all the more possible and exciting.
Tomorrow my heart will know if it has found its next home.
Can't wait to find out!
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