A year ago I was in a dark depression, in significant physical pain and was not working because of it, and I wanted to end my life daily. It brings me to tears just thinking about it.
I had posted a version of the above photo on my Facebook page during that time and wrote, "Absorbing the sun until it reaches my heart."
Everything felt black.
Existence was a struggle. I did not want to be here at all.
Each depression sucks but that one felt like the darkest of the bunch (don't they all?), and I imagine it won't be the last one.
Regardless, I'm so grateful to still be here, to have made it through despite dangling off the edge, and I'm so happy to be exactly where I am, doing all the things that bring me joy again, and feeling appreciative of this gift of life.
I don't take one moment of happiness for granted. I envelope myself in all of it. I doubt you could find another as capable of extracting the beauty out of life and every moment.
I celebrate every single thing I can.
The joy I feel is equal to the pain I've felt so for that I am grateful, but the process of acquiring that level of depth is hell to endure.
So for those currently in the darkness, I want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I care.
It's leading you to light. Please keep going.
All my love,
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