Yesterday my work day ended at 8am today. Except it didn't feel like work. It felt just like heaven. I plugged away at my new site all night and started baking this week's Too Good Triangles at 2am. I finished at noon. I had to do them early so that they'd be ready for Kelly's arrival tomorrow morning (they take 24 hours to set) and despite no sleep (I'm still at the beach and have spent most of my time here chatting on the phone with my beloveds), I couldn't be happier.
I feel so proud of myself for completing this project and I plan to spoil myself with my favourite meal - panini at Princess Cafe tomorrow - as a marker of this accomplishment, because I deserve all the yumminess in the world.
In the far-away past I did not give myself the credit I deserved for my accomplishments, nor the opportunity to celebrate them. I swiftly went from one thing to the next in a tragically flawed effort to finally gain my own approval. I truly believed that "Once I do this thing (whatever it is), I'll be worthy of my own love." I'll be good enough. I can finally relax. But I was always setting a new marker, then I'd reach it, refuse to give myself credit for having done so, and then I'd aspire to the next feat.
My not-good-enough-itis was as strong as the self-hate I lived with back in the day, so I was blind to my worth, my efforts, my goodness and my beauty.
Thankfully, I don't struggle with any of these things in the way that I used to. Sure they pop up from time to time, but hardly worth noting and oftentimes it is quick and easy for me to self-correct. My self-love game is pretty freaking strong these days.
I'm mentioning this as a reminder that you deserve to be celebrated NOW. Because I can guarantee you haven't given yourself the credit you deserve for all that you do, have done, and/or for the magnificent human who you have become through it all.
You don't have to wait to feel good. You don't have to "do/have/be better" before you are deserving of all the goodies that surround you. Stop delaying your treats. Instead, savour as many as you can.
You really do deserve the very best and life can only give you what you're willing to give yourself.
Is it time that you need? A massage? A phone call? A nap? A yummy meal? A great show?
Whatever it is, do it. Keep making it your goal to spoil and honour yourself as much as you can (doesn't even need to cost a thing), to help yourself feel as good as you can, and I pinky swear you will radiate so beautifully that life can't help but give you more to glow about.
All my love,
(Art by Erick Davila)
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