I consider myself a born-again virgin. Is that a thing? It should be a thing.
I feel pure and untainted by the choices of my past. They no longer reflect who I am. They don’t even resonate with me now.
I’m fully enjoying a fresh, clean slate, free of emotional knots and tangles and twisted energies.
I've been celibate for over a year and have spent many months residing in a romantically uncluttered space. It’s been both refreshing and healing.
Although I have no real regrets because every choice I’ve ever made was the right one for me in that moment, not one man I previously let into my world would have a chance with this version of me.
And currently, not one man has a chance with this version of me anyhow.
I joke about living like a nun but there’s some truth to it. My passion is dancing with my creativity and fostering my relationship with myself, both of which leave little time or interest in welcoming another into the mix in a significant way. Not that this is anything new for me.
There have always been points over the years where my interest in romance was non-existent. Years could go by without any romantic connection, followed by a season or two or three of juiciness with another. It ebbs and flows like everything else in life.
We breathe in and we breathe out. We fill up and then we release. We deepen on the inside and then bring that depth to the outside.
I must admit that I don’t recall ever feeling like something was missing in my life no matter how long I’ve been single. I don’t even like the word “single”. It often implies there should be a counterpart or that something is somehow lacking.
But I’m with myself. That is plenty.
My fullness of life comes from every little bit of it; not from certain things or people specifically.
I don’t seek or value romance over other things like the female stereotype would have you assume or believe, nor do I avoid or devalue it because it’s a wonderful gift when it arrives.
What I do is see it as one of many of life’s treats. One of many ways to deepen and grow and love. But just one.
You can live a rich, extraordinary and vibrant life with or without a partner. With or without a child. With or without a lot of money. With or without religion. With or without anyone even knowing that’s what you’re doing.
My life is not defined by, nor is my happiness dependent on, anything external to me. I measure myself and my life based on how well I live and love and grow, how deeply I feel and express, and how beautifully I dance with the flow of my life while remaining within my integrity.
Whether I’m some version of a nun for now or forevermore, or end up meeting a soul that matches my own someday, makes no difference to my core mission in life.
On either path there is love. On every path there is love. On my path there is love.
All my heart,
P.P.S. If an erotic, poetic, insightful and vulnerable real-life fairytale is your kinda thing, I invite you to explore my soul's offering, The Poet & The Butterfly Collection.