Tonight I was informed by the new bride that I have an admirer from the wedding that wants to take me on a date. "Like it's a shocker. You're so gorgeous!" she says. But it was a surprise even though he and I danced that night (which I initiated by the way).
Fellas, here's a fact: 99% of men DO NOT compliment me or make any kind of move when I'm out (this isn't an invitation, just a fact). Or the ones that do are often highly inappropriate about it so they get a verbal lashing, sometimes a physical push depending on where they've placed their hands, or they're ignored and I just walk away. But apart from the crazies, I often feel invisible to men out in the world. They swoon over my girlfriends when we're out but seem not to see me. Not even kidding. There are a few exceptions but overall this has always been the case.
I get plenty of love and compliments on Facebook (which is always appreciated because what woman doesn't love her beauty being recognized - actually, many would resent it so ignore what I just said), but in real life there's crickets. SWEAR. TO. THE. FLYING. SPAGHETTI. MONSTER.
The ones who DO speak up are the ones who stand out for me because it's so rare. Like the fellow I've been connecting with for well over a month now. He approached me with more confidence and honour and genuine appreciation than any man I've ever met. He didn't even have to ask for my number. I asked for his phone and put it in myself. He has not made me regret that choice in any way. He only continues to impress me.
This doesn't mean a thing will happen between us in terms of sex or a relationship, but it's SO DAMN REFRESHING to connect with someone who knows how to interact with a woman properly. Someone I actually feel drawn to. Someone who speaks my language - the language of respect and honour and transparency and confidence. Someone who makes me feel safe and valued and desired simultaneously. That means something.
Moral of this long-winded story that only applies to the kind of man that would be into a woman like me (again, not an offer here - just trying to help those who are intent on wooing a strong female):
Don't assume females always get compliments and that yours won't matter amongst the pool you imagine they've collected. It's far less than you think. Most women's days will be made brighter by your kind words.
Don't be shy to approach a woman you're attracted to. You just never know.
Don't believe you always have to make the first move either though because I am proof that women go after men they desire. I like what I like and when I come across it, that man is the first to know. No games. If a man is trying to get me he'll never have me because if I was interested I would have already made that crystal clear. He wouldn't have to try. We'd already be flirting, swapping numbers and setting up a visit of some sort. Easy peasy. I'm easy to get if I want you. I'm impossible to get if I don't.
Don't reduce yourself or her by sexualizing things either through conversation or text before you've even been intimate because then you're just like the rest of the fellas she is trying to avoid. You can express desire without being a douche or a creep or making her uncomfortable or getting yourself blocked or made fun of behind your back. The fella I've been connecting with still has my attention precisely because he never went "there". He went other places that were much more fulfilling.
Lastly, just be you. It's so cliche but it's fucking true. Do you really want a woman you can't be yourself with? Of course not. Wait for the one who speaks your language. Or if you meet her, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT before someone else does.
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