I feel like all of the "real" grown ups know so many things that I don't.
They're over there like, "Look at me! I'm a functioning member of society! I know how to get a job! I can even withstand the job! I have benefits to boot! And savings!"
And I'm over here like, "Look at me talking to all my furry friends and hugging trees! Look at all the seagulls that want to eat an apple with me! Look at how long I've never had a 9-5 (my whole life)! Look at my bank account and wonder how the fuck I survive!"
I don't aspire to be a part of the "real" world but I'm willing to be until I can figure out how not to be once again.
I'm trying to do all the things I think a grown up is supposed to do to get more money so that, you know, I can keep my pretty place when my rent goes up.
Doesn't mean I know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just shooting a shit ton of arrows into the stratosphere and seeing if any of them land anywhere cool.
Every day is an adventure. Every day I look for signs and honour what I feel inspired to do.
But most of all, I take action. Every single day.
I don't believe it's enough to do what the new agers suggest: visualizing, vision boarding, setting intentions, acting as if it's already here.
All of this is great and useful, but if you're not adding ACTION to the mix, you're probably not gonna get too far.
A dream doesn't arrive on your doorstep just because you've been thinking about it or because you have a picture of said dream on your fridge.
Your dream, or any goal for that matter, requires you to show up. To do the nitty gritty on the way to the super shiney.
You need to meet life halfway so that it knows you're on a fuckin' mission. How else will it know you're ready for the next BIG thing?
Most days I find this task of finding a job to be exciting and fun. I see it as a game I'm trying to win before the time runs out and I love sharing the highlights along the way.
Some moments it doesn't feel as fun. It feels scary and pointless and frustrating.
But each day I see another green light pointing me somewhere interesting. So then I go do that next thing until the next green light appears. And when the light goes red, I redirect my energy to something else that feels like a go. And on and on it goes.
It's the GPS of life as Mike Dooley says. Always recalibrating itself (and you) to get you closer to your chosen destination.
Who knows what will happen and when. All I can do is show up fully for each day ready to kick some ass and hunt for jobs, all while living my sweet little life in the meantime.
I don't want to spend ANY of my precious days stressed about what might or might not happen. Feeling shitty won't change either of those things.
But trusting myself and the timing of my life will certainly line me up beautifully with whatever is in the process of lining up for me.
To that thing. Whatever THAT is.
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