Today I received my first cupping treatment (holy intensity, Batman!) along with some acupuncture and laser therapy for my tendonitis on both hands and arms. It was an hour and a half of releasing and moving energies around and it was wonderful.
Over the next 6 weeks I'll be receiving these holistic treatments 3 times a week for this chronic pain, and my practitioner, Laurie, is AMAZEBALLS. I look forward to our time together and to feel the results of our sessions. We just met on Tuesday but our kinship is strong as we both share the same views on pain and healing.
When a leaf is dried up, you don't water the leaf. You water the roots. Similarly, my tendonitis is just the result of a root problem. It's the dry leaf. Underneath, there's much more to it. Something was driving me to do (and not do) the things that led to this physical imbalance and that's what I am healing inwardly while I receive some physical care.
Ultimately, pain is a messenger sent to show you that there is an imbalance that needs to be corrected. It's there to remind you that something is no longer working and it's an invitation to do things differently. It is resistance manifested; a blockage that needs to be worked through if we are to enjoy a natural state of health. It is your body's way of helping you, believe it or not, because eventually the discomfort of the pain will force you to make the kinds of changes that are essential to your continued well-being.
And apparently I'm a slow learner It was only last week that I finally made the decision to make my health the top priority (thanks to an angelic professional who said point blank, "You need to stop. For real this time.", and arranged for me to get the care I am now receiving). To stop pushing beyond my limits. To stop doing things that hurt. To stop trying to do business as usual. To let myself off the hook completely, at least for a long while. To stop giving so much, doing so much, trying so hard, resisting my current reality and suffering in silence each day.
Granted, the surgeon said the same thing a year and a half ago but slowing down didn't feel possible for me to do at that time. Now it feels essential and non-negotiable.
Before I couldn't stop. Now I just can't go. It hurts too much.
I maxed myself out long before the pain arrived but I was too busy to notice. And once it showed up, I worked despite it. I wasn't ready to slow down or let go. I wasn't ready to surrender. I was having too much fun making shit happen and I resented my body for not being able to keep up with the unrealistic demands I placed on it.
My output FAR exceeded what I gave to myself for many years, and an extreme imbalance in my body was the natural result.
Now it's time to fill the well in a way I never have before. Now it's time to pull back and spoil myself with the energy I was so freely giving to the world (happily, I might add) because I've depleted so many of my internal resources along the way without even knowing that's what I was doing.
I've had these epiphanies before, mind you. But this time I'm ready to fully commit to my well-being.
As of last week, I finally set Too Good Triangles aside like I should have 6 months ago (or maybe even a year and a half ago when I was told to), and right in the middle of our 2 year anniversary contest, no doubt. I cancelled it and stopped taking future orders right then and there. Launching that contest and the pain it created for me was the wake up call my body had been waiting for. I could no longer do what was once so fun and easy to do. I was done.
And I am finally ready to change my ways.
I feel incredible about all the shifts going on right now. I am thrilled about the possibilities! I know my body will heal because I am finally going to give it the space and time and care it needs in order to return to balance. I wasn't willing to before. I was still stuck on "go". But now, caring for this beautiful vessel is my top priority, along with filling my mind with wonderfully loving and supportive thoughts as many moments of the day as I can.
Mind, body and soul. All deeply connected.
And what I know for sure that my future success is dependent on this chapter in particular, because good health and life balance are essential to where I'm going. So for now, life has become incredibly simple: Be as loving and gentle and encouraging towards myself as possible. Continue to meditate, exercise, sleep well, hug trees, snuggle kitties and think good thoughts.
As Laurie told me the day we met, "You're a beautiful soul and you're going to be fine."
I believed her 100%.
We are ALL beautiful souls, and we are ALL going to be fine.
Hang in there, friend. It'll get better.
With lotsa love,
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