I have a neighbour who is physically, verbally and emotionally abusive to those closest to him. It sucks to hear and it sucks that it's happening and it sucks that despite my calls to police, my landlord, and to animal services, the legal system prevents a speedy resolution to the shittiness that goes on next door.
Not to say that something won't be done at some point, maybe it will, but until then all I can do is call with each incident and pray that he will either get fed up and leave, or that enough charges and/or reports will result in something that will finally put this all to an end.
Sadly, I recently learned that my other neighbours are all too scared to report him despite many of them knowing what's going on. He's impossible to ignore. He even yells at the neighbourhood children. He's very threatening. So I was inspired to write this.
We ALL have the responsibility, every day and in every situation, to be the good in this world, to stand up for what's right, to take action, to not remain silent when we are called to speak up, and to acknowledge the fact that we are all connected.
It's easy to point fingers but if we aren't doing anything to help, we are no better than the thing or the person we are criticizing.
We inherently know when something is right or wrong, and the world's greatest evils were committed and perpetuated by people who ignored their inner wisdom despite their awareness of, and discomfort with, the insanity that surrounded them.
The Holocaust, and other such atrocities, was/were possible only because many people chose to do what I know in their hearts did not feel right to do. A collective dysfunction and disconnect, as it were.
Many blame Hitler, but he could not have done what he did within a fully conscious society. His power rose proportionately to the level of unconsciousness, passivity and willingness to look the other way.
Hilter raised an army because countless humans were not courageous enough to speak out against injustice. Because they were too afraid to go against the grain. To think for themselves. To challenge the status quo. To be condemned and punished. They were afraid of the consequences. They were afraid of pain. They were afraid of death.
My neighbours are afraid as well.
They feel they are protecting themselves from harm but their silence only increases the level of harm to others. They are giving my abusive neighbour the power to scare and intimidate them into not taking action. This is the only reason why he's able to continue doing what he's doing. If everyone said something each and every time, this potentially could have been dealt with already.
Maybe he'd be in jail by now.
There was one week where I had to call the cops a few nights in a row and after the cop left I heard my neighbour scream (to me, I assume), "Every fucking night!". And I thought, "What do you expect? If you're abusing her every fucking night, I'm calling the cops every fucking night."
I am not afraid of this bully because when I was a kid I used to be one. Not to everyone (and not to this extent), mind you. Just to the ones I knew wouldn't do a thing about it. Bullies are very scared, insecure people who feel so worthless and powerless that they need power over others to feel better about themselves. They are in immense pain and seek relief from it just like the rest of us.
Only hurt people hurt others.
Even now as an adult, I find that I am more controlling when I feel very small. Luckily though, Paige is confident enough and our relationship is strong enough for her to let me know when I am acting like that, and she refuses to have anything to do with it. She walks away until I calm down.
My neighbour does not scare me because he proves daily that he is actually weak. Behind closed doors he asserts his "power" over those who are unable or too terrified to do or say anything. Were I to send my group of male friends to his place to have a word with him, however, he'd probably cower.
He is only "strong" with those who are weak, and that is no power at all.
I am more afraid of the discontent and misery of not living rightly than I am of the results of living a life of integrity. I'd rather get the shit kicked out of me by my neighbour for trying to protect another being than deal with the ongoing pain of hearing what's going on and allowing it to continue.
This is a heavy topic, I know, but it's real. Darkness exists within us all, but there's light in there, too. They co-exist within each of us and we get to choose which energy we want to nuture.
I choose to focus on the light as much as possible even when I am in the midst of hell or see it manifested around me.
I rarely discuss negative things online or in my work because I do not want to feed any form of negativity. That is a choice. It's not because I am blind to the world and it's certainly not because everything in my life is peachy every moment of every day, although it might appear that way.
It's because I care deeply about what the world receives from me and I feel a strong responsibility to deliver goodness. I know it makes a difference. All of our words and actions make a difference. So I send out as much positivity as I can, every chance that I get, because I believe my readers and supporters appreciate that more than a meaningless rant on trivial matters.
There are enough people dishing out insensitivity, negativity, and cruelty in this world. I'd rather not be one of them.
When I witness abuse it is especially hard to feel happy and loving. It's hard to remember that the world is good. It's hard to deal with the legal aspects of things when the well-being of another is at stake because I want things resolved before it's too late.
It makes me want to hurt him as much as he is hurting others - which of course solves nothing.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."
So I use this anger, this strong and powerful energy, to make the calls. To do something, anything, that might help make it stop. I don't see my anger as a bad thing. It is a healthy, beautiful and sane response to injustice. It is a motivator to create change.
When we are angry there is always a reason for it. It is either calling us to heal something or to change or to do something. I'm doing what I can.
P.S. I want to thank everyone who took time to comment on my recent Facebook update and to those who care enough to want this man charged and this dog in safe hands. I appreciate your support as I deal with this unfortunate situation and I know a number of you are willing to rescue the dog yourself. That says so much. Animal control will be back tomorrow so here's hoping they'll do something immediately.
And if not, well then I will cross that next bridge and do what I feel is right.
Thank you for reading my heart.
P.S. You can join the conversation here.
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